helping the depressed... :S

OK..i'm really worried about one of my friends. its too long to go into the whole situation but shes basically having a really bad time at home and stuff and has been for quite a while. she's feeling really depressed, crying all the time and saying that no one can help her, its a downward spiral bla bla. it's also affecting other stuff like her school work, eating habits etc. shes seeing a counsellor and other such people but says its not really helping.
aside from hating seeing my friends so down like this with nothing i can really do, i dont know what to say half the time when shes talking to me cos it seems like there isnt much of a solution..she needs to live with her mum cos she needs the financial support etc.
sooo, i was wondering what people would do in this situation in order to cheer someone up without being ott, ive tried listening and lots of hugs and stuff but i dont rly no what else to do and feel a bit helpless.

thanks :smile:

Reply 1

The Centipe

I can totally relate and was just about to post the same question - one of my best mates, who's seemed completely normal, started to get fairly glum over the last week. I thought nothing of it, but this morning he turned up at school with ~10 long cuts on his lower arm. Now I don't want to meddle and make it worse, but I feel sorry for him, obviously, and want to know what I should do.. :confused:

Reply 2

Evenstar

I think in this situation, there isn't much you can actually do, apart from be there for your friend. Make sure they know that they can talk to you if they want to. I've suffered from depression, so I know how it feels.
You just have to not give up on them - don't let them retreat into themselves. Just be a friend.

Reply 3

Saffie

don't pressure them into talking and if they want to talk, don't belittle their problems or try and be jokey to lighten the mood. reassure them that they're great and have done nothing wrong and no-one blames them for anything, they prob have v. low confidence.

if you honestly think they're a danger to themselves you should tell your teacher/tutor who would be obliged to do something about it. that's what i was always told at school anyway. :smile:

do what feels right :/

Reply 4

saywhatnow

i know how you feel, my best friend has depression, she fakes being happy all the time and even i thought she was getting better. she sees a psychiatrist and is on pills but nothing is helping her. she's been like this for years now (not to say your friend will be like this at all) and there is nothing i can do but listen to her, and i think that's all you can do really. if she's getting help then that's the main thing.
i just spent 5 hours on the phone to my friend and after she told me how she felt we moved onto other stuff. it doesn't really take her mind of things, it does a little i suppose, but not totally and that's all i can really do. so, i know how hard it is, i really do, i wish i could have my best friend back, but all i can do is listen to her. if you're doing that then it's difficult to do anything else. if she talks to you then she trusts you and that's great and she obviously sees you as a really good friend.
pm me if you want to talk :smile:

Reply 5

Lady Narcissus

I had this problem when my Dad died etc. It would have been nice when I was upset to be included in parties and outings. Ask her out. Even if it just you two, she will like it. Or just go to her place with hot chocolate and dvd. At last my picture works on this thing (sorry random info)

Reply 6

jpowell

Tell jokes. The depressed like that. How about this little corker.

How many murder novellists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, one to screw it almost all the way, and another to give it a suprising twist at the end. Ho ho.