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Muslim Girl + Moving Out? :S

Hey people, i need some advice.. im starting university in september and i've planned to move out to rented accomodation. it took ages to convince my parents to let me, and although they're not happy with the idea they've agreed to let me move out.. now the rest of my family has found out and everyones acting really shocked and saying stuff like its not right for me as a muslim girl to move out.. its so frustrating! but i feel really guilty at the same time because i don't want to disrespect my parents. i dont know what to do!!!

Reply 1

microsystem

What's the problem? Many Muslim girls move out. You're making a big issue out of a small thing.
Your parents have said yes, so who gives a flying hoot what other family members think.

Reply 2

sinesquared.

9

Yeh I did the exact same thing, although im not religious, but my parents are, so they hate me EVEN more.

Just move out....that's about it really.

And if YOU are serious about your faith, then just go to uni and act exactly the same as you would at home and dont "break" the rules, as it were. Thus proving to yourself and your parents that there needs to be no big hoohaa over this moving out business.

Reply 3

Summer_fruits

9

NwpBaybee

Hey people, i need some advice.. im starting university in september and i've planned to move out to rented accomodation. it took ages to convince my parents to let me, and although they're not happy with the idea they've agreed to let me move out.. now the rest of my family has found out and everyones acting really shocked and saying stuff like its not right for me as a muslim girl to move out.. its so frustrating! but i feel really guilty at the same time because i don't want to disrespect my parents. i dont know what to do!!!

That's quite shocking, I know so many Muslim girls who move out for uni and their parents don't really care. Heck, mine encouraged me to, saying I'd be better off just staying there rather than traveling back and forth!

Don't feel guilty, if they've already said you can move out then do it - ignore the others and their comments, it's no big deal really.

Reply 4

anon1212

10

You. will. not. regret. it. move.

Reply 5

Sabria_Darcy_P

I wouldnt worry about it. I understand its harsh if your whole family is acting as though you have commited a huge scandal but its just part of their religious mentality to have certain beliefs about girls. My dad is muslim too but i was raised a catholic because my mum was a catholic. (parents were together until she passed away) I believe you just should ride out their dissaproval. University will be an important experience for you and it will only broaden your mind and help you to be a more independent person. Once you experience how good university can be, your families grumblings will be worth putting up with :smile:

Reply 6

tieyourmotherdown

14

You should do what is right for you. There is no logical reason why you should have to stay at home just because your family want you to, plus as somebody has already said, many Muslim people move out when it comes to University :confused:

Couldn't you just sit them down say 'this is my decision etc.' and just ask them to respect it? :smile:

Reply 7

MaDeenThenMaLife

9

hmmI understand
What I wana say might not be interesting but at the end of the day life is short... and as muslims we believe that disrespecting parents is kinda a big hoohaa
but sis, if your serious about your religion then inshallah pray istikhara (2 rukah asking Allah(swt) to lead you to what is best for you) and then make your desicion :smile:

but make sure you leave home, leaving your parents happy... they are the last thing you can loose

and good luck hun :wink:

Reply 8

microsystem

MaDeenThenMaLife

hmmI understand
What I wana say might not be interesting but at the end of the day life is short... and as muslims we believe that disrespecting parents is kinda a big hoohaa
but sis, if your serious about your religion then inshallah pray istikhara (2 rukah asking Allah(swt) to lead you to what is best for you) and then make your desicion :smile:

but make sure you leave home, leaving your parents happy... they are the last thing you can loose

and good luck hun :wink:

How do you do istikahra? I've considered doing this for something that's been on my mind.

Reply 9

MaDeenThenMaLife

9

microsystem

How do you do istikahra? I've considered doing this for something that's been on my mind.

this is a copy paste from internet :smile:

Icba typing :p:

btw do you speak arabic? coz I put the dua in english

WAY TO PERFORM ISTIKHARA:
First pray Two Cycles (raka') of ritual Prayer (nafil) such that in the first raka' after Surah Fatiha (Allhamd…) recite Surah al-Kafirun (Chapter 109) and in the second raka' after Fatiha (Allhamd…) recite Surah al-Ikhlas (Chapter 112). After finishing prayer recite this (supplication/dua'): Dua in Arabic Text above.

TRANSLATION: "O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

(and you say the above dua after the 2 rukah)

Reply 10

microsystem

MaDeenThenMaLife

this is a copy paste from internet :smile:

Icba typing :p:

btw do you speak arabic? coz I put the dua in english

WAY TO PERFORM ISTIKHARA:
First pray Two Cycles (raka') of ritual Prayer (nafil) such that in the first raka' after Surah Fatiha (Allhamd…) recite Surah al-Kafirun (Chapter 109) and in the second raka' after Fatiha (Allhamd…) recite Surah al-Ikhlas (Chapter 112). After finishing prayer recite this (supplication/dua'): Dua in Arabic Text above.

TRANSLATION: "O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

(and you say the above dua after the 2 rukah)

Yes, I speak Arabic.

Reply 11

LiterallyInsane

First of all good luck for getting into university
secondly .. your parents have agreed right?
Then don't care about what a two rats the community or others say
at the end of the day it's your life and you should be making the decisions :smile:

Reply 12

deathbeforeimmortality

16

Move out and don't misbehave.

Reply 13

MaDeenThenMaLife

9

microsystem

Yes, I speak Arabic.

aw yay where you from :biggrin:

okaiis sis
its in the link http://www.islamicacademy.org/html/Dua/How_to_do_Istakhara.htm

and good luck :smile:

Reply 14

Dante786

11

Your parents are backwards, thinking a female girl cannot be on her own, unless living with family, or married with husband

Very backwards thinking which is typical of South Asian culture.

Reply 15

whizz-kid

16

Tell them to butt out it's rue life there the ones who ar narrow minded and conservative

Reply 16

Qaz25

17

Just ignore the rest of the family/community.... they obviously haven't understood Islam properly on this point. As long as your parents have accepted (which I think every Muslim parent should accept) then just don't worry about what others think.

And if you do get annoyed to an extent... just ask whoever is saying that to point out a passage from the Qur'an or Hadith/Sunnah that says a Muslim woman cannot move out of the parents house in order to receive more education. If they can't do that... then they can say nothing about it :yep:

And one word of note: don't do things at university that your parents would not like you doing

Reply 17

microsystem

MaDeenThenMaLife

aw yay where you from :biggrin:

okaiis sis
its in the link http://www.islamicacademy.org/html/Dua/How_to_do_Istakhara.htm

and good luck :smile:

Thanks for the link.

1. I'm a guy.
2. I'm from Manchester.

What about you?

Reply 18

*theKid*

10

NwpBaybee

Hey people, i need some advice.. im starting university in september and i've planned to move out to rented accomodation. it took ages to convince my parents to let me, and although they're not happy with the idea they've agreed to let me move out.. now the rest of my family has found out and everyones acting really shocked and saying stuff like its not right for me as a muslim girl to move out.. its so frustrating! but i feel really guilty at the same time because i don't want to disrespect my parents. i dont know what to do!!!

My family is religious and my sister is 7 hours away doing her Pre-Reg in Plymouth. They trust her though, so it wasn't much of an issue. I'm so thankful that all my relatives live abroad 'cos I imagine they would have made a huge fuss about it too. You're going to have to fly the nest sometime. You're not disrespecting anyone. They'll get over it. Good luck with Uni.
x

Reply 19

princess15

If your parents have agreed you shouldn't worry what the rest of your family thinks honestly. There will always be people who will try to make you feel as if your doing the wrong thing.
But I will say that always look out for your parents respect no matter what.
:smile:

x

Muslim Girl + Moving Out? :S

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