cutting out friends

When do people seem to cut out their friends when there in a relationship with someone? By cutting out, I mean, stop seeing them so often. it's just someone I've noticed among people I know, and it's started me wondering.

Reply 1

shopaholic_soph

13

because they dont have enough time to see everyone!

Reply 2

ciara

13

Because more people to see = less time to see each one as often..

What is annoying is when people just totally stop seeing their friends though.

Cxx

Reply 3

lilsk8achic666

People tend to spend a lot of their free time with, and give priority too, their partner, and it seems natural to them to see their friends less. I notice that even I do it. It's just a matter of the extent you do it to. For example, I make sure I still go and stay at my friends house for a few days every now and then, pretty much whenever I'm invited. If a friend is cutting you out completely though it's best to have a word with them coz they might not realise they're doing it, or the impact it has on a friendship. The last thing you want for them is that they will suddenly find themselves alone when the relationship breaks down (if it does), when they will be needing a friend to cry on the most.

Reply 4

RobbieC

15

It does happen, and can be really awkward. Makes you feel neglected sometimes, but I guess it's life..

Reply 5

CheesyBeans

1

I have a few friends who all got older boyfriends and don't see their friends much. One friend actually said to me that she doesnt see anyone except her boyfriend anymore so I told her to do something about it but it just seems like she's totally dependant on her guy now which I find really sad.

Reply 6

ChemistBoy

16

CheesyBeans

I have a few friends who all got older boyfriends and don't see their friends much. One friend actually said to me that she doesnt see anyone except her boyfriend anymore so I told her to do something about it but it just seems like she's totally dependant on her guy now which I find really sad.

I generally found that it was hard to accept an older person into the group when I was between 15 and 18. It was only my female friends that ever saw anyone older and it did lead to some awkward situations when you are trying to talk to an older guy who you have nothing in common with and who you don't really approve of, the friend expected you to get on because "you were all guys". What we actually thought was "What an immature ******, he'd old enough to be her dad!" or some such.

Reply 7

elyse180887

1

it tends to happen right at the begginnig of a relationship when its all new and exiciting. That has happended with loads of my friends. they tned to drift back when the relationship has become more stablr with a bit of yime behind it so a coulpe of months id say. it leaves you in the situatin well do i feel happy for them and accept them with open arms when they come back or do i feel neglected and act off with them when they try to come back. it all depends on the person, the situation and all that stuff

Reply 8

Lady Narcissus

14

My bf would not, even answering the phone to m8s during imporant stuff. arrah

Reply 9

WillB

1

Happens to me all the time with one of my friends...he's been in a relationship for 3 years and will still drop anything (including plans to meet up with friends) to go running to her. Under the thumb pretty much sums up how I describe it. Recently, he has been changing commitments to satisfy the "in-laws" which is rather ridiculous.

Reply 10

Holleh

i have been with my boyfreind for 3 and half years and i lost most of my freinds because of him. Its not his fault, he tried so hard to get on with them, he was so nice to them and put himself out so much for them. My freinds just didnt like him and told me i basically had to choose between him and them and well i chose him. If they were my real mates they never would have done that to me. My bf is my best freind now and i spose he kinda did me a favour, they wernt my real freinds if they couldnt accept the guy i loved. I have a few new freinds now but i rarely see them, we all have different work commitments and are off to different universities.

Reply 11

CheesyBeans

1

ChemistBoy

I generally found that it was hard to accept an older person into the group when I was between 15 and 18. It was only my female friends that ever saw anyone older and it did lead to some awkward situations when you are trying to talk to an older guy who you have nothing in common with and who you don't really approve of, the friend expected you to get on because "you were all guys". What we actually thought was "What an immature ******, he'd old enough to be her dad!" or some such.

Well I personally never had a problem with a friends older partner going out with us as I have a lot of older people (20s) in my group of friends so that was never an issue. I think maybe the friend who didn't hang around with us all anymore assumed that her guy wouldnt want to go out with younger people but there were always people his age and older around. The problem with age differences I guess is that each want different things. I'm 18 and at the moment a serious relationship (like living together, thinking about far in to the future etc) does not interest me in the slightest so I guess I subconsciously tend to stay away from the nolder guys as I assume they would want something more. Though this isn't always the case.

cutting out friends

Related discussions

Articles for you