Wheat Crunchies

Bought a multipack of Wheat Crunchies the other day. Was horrified to find that Worcester sauce was seemingly discontinued. This is the email I sent to Golden Wonder:

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Hello there,

Recently, I bought a multipack of Wheat Crunchies in my local Tesco. When I got home, I tore open the package to look for my favourite flavour: Worcester Sauce. I was horrified to find that my beloved 'Worcesters' had beeen replaced with 'Big Cheese'. Now, don't get me wrong, 'Big Cheese' was very nice, but if you'll allow my to use Richard Feynman's slightly adapted metaphor: 'Big Cheese is to Worcester Sauce what masturbation is to sex'.

I thought to myself 'Maybe they've just taken Worcester Sauce out of the multipacks'. So I checked the 'Other Flavours Available' on the back of Big Cheese, and he listed only 'Crispy Bacon' and 'Spicy Tomato'. This was soul destroying - a 17 year old boy had lost his most beloved flavour, and there seemed to be no way of ever being reunited. My local Tesco no longer stocks Worcester Sauce, and neither do any of my other local stores.

So, in desperation, I wrote this email. I though that, maybe, just maybe you would have a few lonley packs lying around your offices, to which I could give a good home (it doesn't even matter if they're past their used by date). So I urge you with all my heart, please, if you find any Worcester Sauce Wheat Crunchies in your office, send them to the following address and make a little boy very happy:

My house,
123 Fake street,
Crapsville,
Hertfordshire,
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Obviously I used my real address, but the question is, do you think they'll send me anything?

(And yes, i'm well aware I have too much free time on my hands)

Crispy bacaon are yumm. Plus you won't be taken serious with those spelling mistakes!

Aw crap - I thought i'd proof read it properly. In my defense I was very tired, and bored.

If you get any free wheat crunchies send me all the bacon ones as payment for my editing service

You're more than welcome to the bacon ones - they taste of something, but it sure as hell isn't bacon!

I' hold you to that. Verbal contract and all that guff, it's now legally binding!

You're more than welcome to come and collect them from Hertfordshire if you so wish, but that's quite a way from Northern Ireland.....I never agreed to post them.

I'll come and collect them! That is no problem, anything for Wheat Crunchies. Well not anything. . . no I would do anything for Wheat Crunchies.