The Student Room Group
i just wanted to make myself a better person. i wanted to be accepted.
to be accepted by who exactly? you shouldn't have to do things you're not willing to. ok you might feel the need to fit in at times, but you are who you are and what you do. it sounds like you're a naturally good guy and if people can't accept you for who you, thats their loss, not yours.

harshly people judge me.
the world is harsh, but you just have to over-ride this and think of the people close to you who don't judge. :smile:
:frown: the things you have said, i can't see why somebody wouldn't want to love and respect you, you're hard working, determined and conscious of yourself, which is important in being able to have people love you- love yourself. I know what I'm saying doesn't make sense (I'm tired and my mind is all mixed up) :smile:

I hate giving advice because thats not my job, but pm if ya wanna talk.
Reply 3
There are always going to be judegemental people who judge you in one way or another.... thats life! And there must be people around you who do love you and respect you.... you want to be respected and loved so the people who do love and respect you are the only people who really count! You know who you are and what you are so why let other peoples views of you worry you?
Reply 4
To be honest I know what its like, I often get the feelings people automatical hate me... well not automatically but I definately am seen as a bit wierd.

Things is if you have some sort of self esteem issue, which it wouldnt suprise me if you do, then you will come of as unfirendly... you dont have the inner security to come of as genial. I know I come of as very unfriendly, and although this is OK for girls - becuase they may have good reason to be suspicious - its is expected for guys to be friendly in most social circumstances (excpet of course one delibrately set out to be hostile in some way), but if your not then you get labelled as "weird".

Clearly its more complex than this but those would be my surmises on the issue, but I think they have some credibilty given the endless hours of introspection I have engaged upon :wink:
its blatantly unfair when peope say such horrible things as these, and i cringe when i hear such insults. For a time I was entirely on my own, with no-one at all. I realised that I didn't need pathetic people treating me like **** so now as far as I'm concerned, I'm my own best friend. end of.
Reply 6
Max Power
that's the thing. i have always wanted love and respect because i have never had any.

I don't have a family. I don't have close friends. I understand what u say one u project the opinion that as long as the people close to u love u then who cares what starngers think. It's a good point, but i have no one. seriously.

these are things i want. I wanted to make myself a better person. a more intelligent and stronger person. yet now i still have nothing. i just feel cold and heartless inside.

Well, you say you are really intelligent and healthy (great, go you!), and that you have no family. So, what's missing? Social interaction is the answer. The people that will not judge you are your friends, so when you make some you can show your true self to them. And don't care what the others think.
Reply 7
Max Power
since i was young chap i have always wanted love and respect. Someone to love and people to respect me i guess.

for four years i have gone to the gym two or three times a week. i never take drugs or use protein powder. I'm naturally very physically strong. i've never seen anyone (even older guys) life the weights i do. well anyway, people keep accusing me of taking steroids or that crap. my physique now means that people see me as some sort of meatball head thug. They're scared of me.

to improve myself i also study hard. I'm a law student at a damn good uni. But because i am so determined and achieve pretty decent mrks i get accused of being a geek.

so on one hand people take one look at me and judge me as a moronic thug, and on the other hand they see me as a geek.

i just wanted to make myself a better person. i wanted to be accepted. now people don't even give me a chance. I just feel so bitter and angry at how harshly people judge me.

Crush them with your power and move on!
Reply 8
I have family yes, but strained (in differnet ways with differnet members) relationships with them and I have no firends really... well the one or two I did have I lost through getting drunk which for me eqautes being violent and obnoxious.

YOu go to nottingham right? I know tons who wnet there from my school (about 12 I think) and they are all differenet types, so Im nots ure how they could say "he cnat go to this uni". Although I do feel a little out of place at where I am studying given that I feel (what with my grades and attitude) I should be at a higher uni.

And yeah some people have natural charisma, and some seem to almost have negative charisma. I wouldnt dwell on it to much I too have given up on society many a time, I used to find escapist pleasures through such things as videogames, the internet and general studying.

YOu cant change peoples first impressions, all you can do is demonstrate through your actions that you are not who they make you out to be.
Reply 9
It seems to me that you haven't met people who you truly click with. This isn't unnatural, it just takes time. I could count my true friends on one hand.
Max Power
what can i do ? what am i doing wrong ?

i can't convince people of who i am if they won't even listen to me. nobody gives me a damn chance.

I don't want to give up on people but I'm sick of fighting for nothing.

Making friends needn't be a fight. Just go to the uni bar and get talking to some individuals there; buy them a drink, or something. Actually, it would be even better to go to one of those interest societies I've heard they have at unis; if you can find something else apart from studying and exercising that you really enjoy doing (with other people), then that would help you loads. Then the people there can get to know you individually.
Reply 11
:frown: I understand how you feel. I'm too much of a "bimbo" for my university, and too much of a "snob" at home.

Just ignore the people who make comments like that, they're just jealous. Smile at people and those who are decent will smile back. It's easy to make friends if you just smile.
Reply 12
Max Power
everyone i see at the uni is just so happy and they have so much warmth and love in their life.
u sure...?

Max Power
because i am so determined and achieve pretty decent mrks i get accused of being a geek.
who gives a F...
there's nout wrong with geeks...

Max Power
my physique now means that people see me as some sort of meatball head thug. They're scared of me.
maybe it's just the way you dress...

this is probably a bad suggestion, but try to show your character...
perhaps you're not laughing/smiling enough?
Reply 13
If social interaction is what you crave, that's what you have to work on. It's a new term at university, so make it a new start - just talk to people, and smile. Make an effort to go out; sacrifice the odd gym/study session if you have to.

It's painful as anything to MAKE yourself socialise if it doesn't come naturally, but it will be worth it. Being jealous and sorry for yourself will not work.
Cannot be bothered to read the whole thread, but trust me do not bother with gaining the respect of people.

When I came top at Hull, it was oohh that girl is obessed with her average. Others well, they followed me about pinching my notes. People are can be arse holes, lecturers included. Please your self or, as in my case, break down with it all.
I'm like this too.
I'm deaf, and find small groups VERY hard to follow (and they are basically the cornerstone of uni), so tend to just hide in myself a lot of the time.
It's really upsetting me, cause I am social, I can be very talkative... in the right situation.
I'm very quiet, hardly talk to anyone, because its hard to follow n stuff.
I met one awesome guy last night at a nightclub, and we were chatitng for ages, he really made an effort to talk to me, we ended up walking back to uni, and having a good time.
Gonna go and hopefully chat to him again tonight...
But apart from that, I don't really know anyone :frown:

P.S. I'm at Nottingham Uni, (too?)
Reply 16
you should see how you come across 2 people who dont know you. wanna know why people wont/dont like you? read over what you've written in this thread n then say you like yourself.