The Student Room Group

mate cheating.

ok here it goes,
my Best mate, who has been my best mate for 8 years not had 1 argument etc has recently slept with (once) a good mate of mine who has a boyfriend who is also a good mate of mine.


basically i wana know whose fault it is more, my best mate for having sex with the girl who he knows and is a friend of, and also knows the boyfriend well, or is it the girl who has a boyfriend?

they are all good mates of mine and at the day i dont know what i would do if a situation broke out where it got out in the open.

Obviously i hate the fact that the girl has done this to her boyfriend cos he is a top bloke .
Reply 1
Both of them are at fault and if i was u i would tell her boyfriend he deserves to know i would if i was him
Reply 2
willey
ok here it goes,
my Best mate, who has been my best mate for 8 years not had 1 argument etc has recently slept with (once) a good mate of mine who has a boyfriend who is also a good mate of mine.


basically i wana know whose fault it is more, my best mate for having sex with the girl who he knows and is a friend of, and also knows the boyfriend well, or is it the girl who has a boyfriend?

they are all good mates of mine and at the day i dont know what i would do if a situation broke out where it got out in the open.

Obviously i hate the fact that the girl has done this to her boyfriend cos he is a top bloke .

talk to the girlfriend
talk to the best mate
at this point you'll know whether to tell the boyfriend.
Reply 3
Both. But...more the girl. Because the bloke has no obligation to anyone. He hasn't officially done anything wrong, but he shouldn't have done it.
Reply 4
Lauren
Both. But...more the girl. Because the bloke has no obligation to anyone. He hasn't officially done anything wrong, but he shouldn't have done it.

I agree that the girl is more at fault but I think the bloke has to shoulder some of the blame.
Reply 5
the boyfriend. He was probably ignoring her and being rubbish and drove her to cheat :mad:


/bitterness
its not your business so stay out.
Reply 7
IMO they are both at fault, but more the girl, she needs to get dumped big time.
They are both at bloody fault! The boyfriend should know asap and they should get what they deserve! It's the boy's fault just as much, he should have some loyalty to his mate! If i were the boyfriend i would have just lost two people i thought i trusted
Reply 9
They are both at fault. Maybe one more than the other, or maybe not... at that level boundaries break down I think... because that is outright betrayal and is disgusting.

If the bf was a good friend of mine, I would definitely tell him... or at least hint that something was going on and let him realise the truth so he could ditch the disloyal people.. Thats horrible... Im so glad none of my friends would ever do that..
yes they are both at fault.

you need to talk to both the girlfriend and the guy she slept with. tell them that they must tell her boyfriend or you will do it! give them a time limit to do it in and if they dont do it then tell the bf. if they turn around and say its over now, they'll never do it again so the bf needs not to know, ignore it. when he finds out (cos he WILL find out) and also finds out that u knew about it all, he'll feel really hurt that u didnt tell him as a best mate. so he has to know.

your friends who slept together, do they know you know? how did u find out?
Reply 11
Yup been in this situation (the friend who knows, not the cheaters)
I'd say it's more the girl's fault just because she's the one in the relationship; so it's her responsibility to keep that relationship working
The guy is still an utter muppet and an awful friend and i wouldn't wanna know it... but meh I just think the cheating partner is worse

Anyway I wouldn't tell your friend (The bf) cos what if he doesn't believe you? Or stuff just gets mucked up? I'd talk to both of the cheaters and try to encourage one of them to spill because he does deserve to know... but it's better not coming from you.
They are both at fault, the girl slightly more perhaps, but that's neither here nor there - you're only course of action is to try and stay the hell out of it, my man. You don't wanna have to take sides or get dragged into something in which you had no part.

Unless "best friend" is a euphemism for "me", but i'm suuuure that's not that case!
this situation sucks! If at all possible, I would stay out of it unless the one dude wants to marry the girl or somethign screwed up like that. Are you still friends with the two?
Honestly, it's not even your business. People like you butt into other people's situations because you see it as a duty but end up making situations worse.
willey
ok here it goes,
my Best mate, who has been my best mate for 8 years not had 1 argument etc has recently slept with (once) a good mate of mine who has a boyfriend who is also a good mate of mine.


basically i wana know whose fault it is more, my best mate for having sex with the girl who he knows and is a friend of, and also knows the boyfriend well, or is it the girl who has a boyfriend?

they are all good mates of mine and at the day i dont know what i would do if a situation broke out where it got out in the open.

Obviously i hate the fact that the girl has done this to her boyfriend cos he is a top bloke .
just stay out of it.better to keep yourself smart and tidy.
Reply 16
^^ Second that
Reply 17
Who's at fault depends on how it happened. I'd imagine the girl, being the one who's attached, is more likely to be, but I could think of situations where the bloke might be. If it's a one-time mistake, definately stay out, and let them forget it. If there's some sparks there, talk to them, but stay out initially. If it only happens once, it's not your concern. If, but only if, they start having a relationship on the side, then her boyfriend needs to know.
Reply 18
Multiplexed
Honestly, it's not even your business. People like you butt into other people's situations because you see it as a duty but end up making situations worse.



Firstly i am not butting in to anything my best mate who tells me everything, who was the one who slept with my friend who has a boyfriend who is also my friend, Told me this, obviously i told him i wasnt happy with what he had done, i think its horrible and feel sorry for the boyfriend.

But if i tell the boyfriend i know i will loose
1. my best mates trust mayeb friendsheip
2.the girl as she is a good mate
3. the boyfriend as he will move away back home so neva see him again.

so as everything that i get told i will keep it with me, untill a massive argument hits the fan and im stuck between everything.