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please help me, i'm becoming depressed

heya you guys,

i dunno where to put my problem... well this is it.... my best freind been saying i'm really quite, and boring but i do try to talk and make convo, but she just blanks me sumtimes, and i may be qite sometimes but tahts beacsue i'm thinking or deep in thought, what shall i do.... then to make matters worse none of my close freinds finds me 'interesting' and its as if i dont exist. they dotn notice me, or even attempt to talk to me, y are they doin this.... please dont be rude or evil to me, but can anyone give me advice, i dunno what to do, this is really depressing me, and i' worried its gonna affect my studies..... i cant take it any more... i want out ....

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Reply 1
Become more intresting, it works in the long run. (had same problem)
Reply 2
Making more of an effort is all I can think of? Try hard to really talk and listen in conversations and join in as much as you can. Make sure if they all go out that you go with them so you do have a role in your group of friends if you get what I mean?
Reply 3
Find people with similar interest and try becoming with friends with them. To be honest, your current friends arn't helping you that much but just criticising you. Ask them why they find you boring because it doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong.
talk talk talk, even if it doesn't make sense, just talk! i had this problem just before the summer, so much so that i was driven into a breakdown and lost all confidence. It was at this point that I decided I don't care that people aren't interested in what I'm saying....just talk! Its working with me so far! :wink:
Reply 5
Remember; Still water runs deep.

If they say you're quiet, tell them you're thinking of something and start talking about what you're thinking about. That is a possible topic of conversation. Unless what you're thinking about it really morbid, depressing and uninteresting, then dont.

If you really cant talk to people, try asking questions and then feign interest. That way people will find you more interesting as you're in theory having a conversation (although its all one sided). :biggrin:
Reply 6
you sound a little insecure and to be honest your mates don't sound all that nice.if they're not bringing much to a conversation themselves, i wouldn't kill yourself making an effort. if you've only become really quiet recently, then i'd look into the reasons for this.i wouldn't advise changing your personality too much though.people would find it a bit weird if they suddenely can't get you to shutup!
HOW do you become more interesting?
I had a similar problem- not with my friends, but in situations where i didn't have a particular reason to be interested in what people were discussing. I'd just start thinking about something else (usually physics!) and forget to talk! Have now found that it helps to just share your thoughts with other people even if they're not too fascinated or don't understand :smile:
Reply 9
MR_JR
HOW do you become more interesting?

do interesting things like stamp collecting or something :cool:
saywhatnow
Making more of an effort is all I can think of? Try hard to really talk and listen in conversations and join in as much as you can. Make sure if they all go out that you go with them so you do have a role in your group of friends if you get what I mean?

i was in the same position at one point when i started a new 6th form school. They weren't the most friendly people in the world and whenever i did try and make an effort they would look at me as if i had two heads.

Also the group that i was hanging around with, if one was having a birthday, she would invite everyone in the group but not invite me, which used to be very hurtful. When people start doing that you just feel like saying well stuff you then, but everyone seemed to alreday have made their little groups so it was very hard.

I had been to about 3 other schools before this and i had never had a problem making friends, but instead had quite a big group of people who i could hang out with and go out and socailais with, so i know it couldn't have been me.
Reply 11
luna, i can give u my experience of this type of situation.

in year 13 i was a bit of a maverick - a liability or something along those lines (opposite to u maybe) but similar in that maybe we found it hard to fit in. I decided that if i couldn't join them i would make damn sure that i beat them. so i studied hard, got straight A's, went gym and become a really different and independent person. by doing so i earnt evryones respect in the end.

luna, i think that maybe these people do not have much respect for u. without respect, how can there be friendship. i would never call a friend a boring fool. This person cannot be ur friend to do so.

what i'm saying is don't alienate urself like what i did. u have to be pretty damn brave to do that coz it's pretty miserable when every1 hates u. instead just try to get along with everyone and be strong.

don't do things to just fit in. i said earlier that friendships are built on respect. for me i had to find self respect first. i had to find out who i was, and how great i am. now if any1 dares to call me a bad name, i'm big enough to ignore it. i can ignore it because i have self respect and dignity.

find self respect within urself and u won't care what people say. in the end, they'll think ur pretty damn cool, because while all of the other weak minded sheeps did silly things to avoid being boring, u kept ur dignity and the result was u were different and hence interesting.
I would have to agree with Max Power, your friends should be supportive of you. Instead of just being rude and obviously hurting your feelings, they should be asking you what is different that is causing the change. You also shouldnt have to change yourself to become what they want you to be. There may be the possiblity that you guys have just grown apart and maybe you should look around for some different friends.

That may sound harsh, but if it is upseting you then there already is a major problem.

I hope that helps.
Reply 13
thanks you guys, u've actually cheered me up so much, wow, i think i should get all of myworries off my heart regularly. thanks ever soo much!! and Max Power, i think like u said i will need to fnd self-respect and be more confident with myself-appearnce and perosnality wise, that may help. thank you!!! it feels good, taht people do notice you, and take tiem to talk to me, even if i dont know you, when my frieds dont even bother to spend time to ask me whats wrong.
Luna
heya you guys,

i dunno where to put my problem... well this is it.... my best freind been saying i'm really quite, and boring but i do try to talk and make convo, but she just blanks me sumtimes, and i may be qite sometimes but tahts beacsue i'm thinking or deep in thought, what shall i do.... then to make matters worse none of my close freinds finds me 'interesting' and its as if i dont exist. they dotn notice me, or even attempt to talk to me, y are they doin this.... please dont be rude or evil to me, but can anyone give me advice, i dunno what to do, this is really depressing me, and i' worried its gonna affect my studies..... i cant take it any more... i want out ....


don't try to make yourself a certain way to please your friends or to make yourself more 'interesting' because soon you'll be putting on an act all the time for people to be with you and you will be more miserable than you are now. quiet and being constantly deep in thoughts is who you are... be proud of it! at least you are deep lol. people have different personality types and there is no universal 'interesting' so don't try to force youself to be a extroverted, bubbly person if that's not you. Find friends who are quiet and thoughtful like you... and you will have respect for eachother and enjoy each other's company. tbh, someone like you (from what you described) usually don't have many friends anyway... you might enjoy having 1 or 2 very close friends that you can have deep relationships with rather than joining crowds. Be proud to be differnt, then you will be interesting, not only to your friends (by this i mean your new ones) and yourself! :biggrin:
Reply 15
i'm really happy that making this thread has helped u luna.

it does help to talk, especially to people who are purely objective and intelligent, as most people in this forum are.

Be strong and be happy.
Reply 16
i dont know how to make it better. glad you have cheered up.
id just say dont try to hard to pretend to be interesting or even interested. i bet it wont work in the long run.
Anyway the more you do things with people, the more you bond with them and find what they are saying interesteing and relevant, thats what im thinking.
get new friends
stay the same, my mates respect me for my weird tendancies of long periods of silence inspecting something or what not lol.
Reply 19
Are you sure it's you with the problems, and not your mates? You shouldn't feel pressurised into being anyone different than yourself, and you mates should realise this. You're you and you're fab, just remember that, and don't change for anyone. It might be your mates making you feel like this, maybe get rid of them and get rid of this horrible feeling. :hugs:

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