what does over familiar mean exactly?

Im female, just turned 20 and have always been the quiet shy type so have never had friends Ive done everything alone ive never has a social life. People have always said im very quiet cause i like my own company. Over the last year though I thought id make a real effort to make friends etc but ive noticed im not taken seriously and people ignore me if i talk in a group so ive still no friends. One girl told me in honesty last week that Im too over familiar with people and i thought wth I can't win im just trying to make an effort. Im not exactly sure though what over familiar means does it mean im behaving too friendly??

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

oh and how can i make friends?

Reply 2

CoffeeStinks

11

It means you're acting as if the people are friends from way back.

Tips:
Don't make up nicknames if you have just met them.
Invite yourself to events that they have planned. Instead ask if you can come.
Hug for uncomfortable amounts of times.
Too much touching.
Etc.
(btw I'm not saying you do this, just giving examples)

Just take it easy don't force yourself onto them and allow them to warm to you.

Hope this helps.

:smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

CoffeeStinks

It means you're acting as if the people are friends from way back.

Tips:
Don't make up nicknames if you have just met them.
Invite yourself to events that they have planned. Instead ask if you can come.
Hug for uncomfortable amounts of times.
Too much touching.
Etc.
(btw I'm not saying you do this, just giving examples)

Just take it easy don't force yourself onto them and allow them to warm to you.

Hope this helps.

:smile:

Thanks, I really do need social skill lessons. I never touch people (as in hand on shoulder and all that) and come to think of it Ive never hugged anyone since hugging my mum when i was like 9 lol yet others do it loads and they are seen by others as ok. Its more that i dont know what to say and i think I jokingly insult people when im not classed as a friend. But my dad does this with people his age for a laugh maybe it doesnt work with the younger generation.

Reply 4

username501615

It means you're quite overfriendly, like you act/joke as if you've known them for ages when you haven't, so they don't know how to judge your sense of humour etc.

Just make sure you respect people's personal space (don't stand too close and don't hug them on first meeting them), and don't force yourself on people. When you're first getting to know them, there'll probably be quite a lot of smalltalk going on before you can get into lengthy discussions.

I'm having a bit of trouble getting people to understand my sense of humour myself :/

(edited 14 years ago)

Reply 5

Bernywormy

Hey, the trick for me was to be happy enough and independent that I realised I didn't need friends. I became accepting about the fact that I didn't need friends, and that I still had my music, art and other things that were really important to me. That kind of thing drew people in. Before, I was trying to look for friends, and people can tell subconsciously if that's the case (and it also tends to put them off). Be yourself, be happy with what you're studying, be happy you've got lots of opportunities to do great things with your life- care about yourself, and people will find it more interesting than when you're caring about others and whether they'll accept you. :smile:

Reply 6

tinchord

1

Awww wow. No one EVER answered you! I hope you e learned by now, geez 9 years, if you even see this, that one person saying that or any opinion, you be you and you find your way. Someone’s opinion, and EVERYONE has one, doesn’t define you. What she called overly familiar is independent to what she interprets. Some people welcome the forward kindness and some people don’t. Hey! Now that you’re nearing 30 or just turned, I’m sure you’ve fifties out by now, that if you don’t have some people that love you and some that hate you, you’re doing something wrong. Lol!

what does over familiar mean exactly?

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