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I actually almost killed myself two days ago until... (suicide) watch

    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by iheartmondays)
    I mean at that moment in time I was ready to go, I've always tried to kill myself (can you not see how messed I am, attempting to kill myself has now become the norm) but when I tightened the rope and reached out for the pills to overdose something spoke to me, I don't know...some may say God.
    If you only knew my voice tells me.
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    (Original post by MJlover)
    Good on you OP. Do you believe in God?
    seriously?
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    (Original post by iheartmondays)
    Two days ago I gave up on life, I had a jar of my mum's diabetic pills on one side and a rope tightly tide on my neck. I went to look into the mirror and cried my eyes out and looked at myself in the eyes and told myself I was so sorry I didn't give life a go. I mean at that moment in time I was ready to go, I've always tried to kill myself (can you not see how messed I am, attempting to kill myself has now become the norm) but when I tightened the rope and reached out for the pills to overdose something spoke to me, I don't know...some may say God.
    That's all cause your life is boring. Pills and so on. You just need some adventures.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You know what life is ****... as ****** as it could be......

    I am going to go and lie down the rail tracks after a few days....

    For those who might ask why after a few days? Its because I am setting things in order and writing instructions to different people so that they don't curse me after I am gone, so that they won't curse me if they couldn't find the storeroom keys or curse at the mess (my clothes and stuff) I left behind... I don't want to be a cause of peoples trouble... I won't take anything that will identify the corpse after I do it... Hopefully I will be buried as an unidentified corpse and none of them have to bother about me...
    First off...Someone who is going to commit suicide does not and would not post on a forum on how they are going to do it....They simple just do it. That is the tragic thing about such events. You are simply just looking for attention while suffering from depression which is common in teenagers. Either go out more, make friends and stop attention seeking OR get medical help like the vase majority of people with the mental condition of depression. Stop wasting my time by writing such stuff to try and gain my empathy.
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    (Original post by iheartmondays)
    Two days ago I gave up on life, I had a jar of my mum's diabetic pills on one side and a rope tightly tide on my neck. I went to look into the mirror and cried my eyes out and looked at myself in the eyes and told myself I was so sorry I didn't give life a go. I mean at that moment in time I was ready to go, I've always tried to kill myself (can you not see how messed I am, attempting to kill myself has now become the norm) but when I tightened the rope and reached out for the pills to overdose something spoke to me, I don't know...some may say God.

    Today, like every day I went to college and slapped a smile on my face and acted like everything was happy happy. Then my tutor broke the news that one of our school peers committed suicide. I had a panic attack but no one knew why. I am all teary eyed because that could have been me! It could have been my family moaning me. I tried to tell my friends this, break the silence to my silence but as always no reply, no call back, I'm busy etc.

    Hmmmm.... life is precious. I won't lie to myself I'm weak and I really could go through with killing myself. However, I realised today its a selfish act. I think I might get help. I just hope that voice that stopped me will stop me tonight because I am honestly feeling suicidal. Can you imagine the pills and rope are still on my bed...I share a room with my sister and she hasn't noticed.
    What are you unhappy specifically about ? What exactly about life bothers you? What about yourself are you unhappy about...I will PM you shortly....
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    LOL. Bless you, OP, for making me laugh.

    End.
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    (Original post by thatwhichiam)
    Go and talk to a professional. Now. Not us. There are too many ***** on here. Call the Samaritans or look up online someone to call because although it's really good you've decided not to kill yourself, you need to deal with the way you feel about your life. First thing tomorrow make an appointment with your GP.
    This, get some help from someone, just talk.

    Well done for talking about it to someone even if it is TSR, and well done for considering talking to someone, it's a brave step in the right dirction.
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    (Original post by iheartmondays)
    Two days ago I gave up on life, I had a jar of my mum's diabetic pills on one side and a rope tightly tide on my neck. I went to look into the mirror and cried my eyes out and looked at myself in the eyes and told myself I was so sorry I didn't give life a go. I mean at that moment in time I was ready to go, I've always tried to kill myself (can you not see how messed I am, attempting to kill myself has now become the norm) but when I tightened the rope and reached out for the pills to overdose something spoke to me, I don't know...some may say God.

    Today, like every day I went to college and slapped a smile on my face and acted like everything was happy happy. Then my tutor broke the news that one of our school peers committed suicide. I had a panic attack but no one knew why. I am all teary eyed because that could have been me! It could have been my family moaning me. I tried to tell my friends this, break the silence to my silence but as always no reply, no call back, I'm busy etc.

    Hmmmm.... life is precious. I won't lie to myself I'm weak and I really could go through with killing myself. However, I realised today its a selfish act. I think I might get help. I just hope that voice that stopped me will stop me tonight because I am honestly feeling suicidal. Can you imagine the pills and rope are still on my bed...I share a room with my sister and she hasn't noticed.
    Things must be really hard for you at the moment and I'm so sorry about that. Please, please consider calling a helpline, such as the Samaritans or Childline. They'll listen without judging you.

    Please never feel that you are not important! Even if you might not feel like it, there are so many people who love and care for you. Please don't forget that, no matter what your mind is telling you - You are important. People do really care about you.

    As one of the previous posters said, well done for being open about it here. I hope things get better for you, OP. I really do recommend seeking professional help - there will ALWAYS be people who can help you, I promise.

    :console:
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    Ah, you've been contacted by Satan - welcome to the cult my man.
    • #3
    #3

    I nearly killed myself at the start of 2007. Life got ahead of me and I was so depressed and felt so trapped - I'd failed my degree because it was too hard and with it my friends decided that was the perfect opportunity to wash their hands of me, because I'd be leaving. It wouldn't be so bad if the majority of these guys hadn't been people from school that I'd known for years and years - all that time, all the favours we did for each other and they ditch me like that? Added a vat of turd to an already horrible situation.

    Luckily, it didn't last long and I came through it okay with help from one rock solid friend and my parents as well - they helped me see the light, evaluate my options and change the situation. Right now? My life isn't great but at least it's vaguely normal and workable.

    In the long run, it seems so stupid. A guy in my year at school killed himself last year and, although he'd been seriously depressed for years and eventually descended into mental illness, nobody expected his death to come so suddenly.

    There's a cemetery at the bottom of the road I grew up on, and I've been known to wander around it just looking at the headstones. There was one recently where a guy had died in the late 1980s I think, seemed quite young. Next to the grave there was a party balloon which said "HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY!" on it, so obviously somebody really cared about this guy and remembered his birthday, opting to kind of celebrate it with him.

    Another stone nearby shows a guy who is slightly older than my dad but died earlier this year recently. His wife and kids were mentioned on the headstone. That could have been my dad, you know? I couldn't cope if he died suddenly - my gran died suddenly from absolutely perfect health a few months back and it knocked my dad for six.

    Seeing things like that really snaps a good person out of it. It brings out emotions, thoughts and outlooks on life I never knew I was even capable of.

    I've since learned to play the hand I'm dealt and stick two fingers up at the world at the same time, and my life has improved with it. Life is precious and the probability of your birth is minute. Don't throw it all away without good reason. Good luck with whatever you choose to do next.
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    (Original post by iheartmondays)
    Two days ago I gave up on life, I had a jar of my mum's diabetic pills on one side and a rope tightly tide on my neck. I went to look into the mirror and cried my eyes out and looked at myself in the eyes and told myself I was so sorry I didn't give life a go. I mean at that moment in time I was ready to go, I've always tried to kill myself (can you not see how messed I am, attempting to kill myself has now become the norm) but when I tightened the rope and reached out for the pills to overdose something spoke to me, I don't know...some may say God.

    Today, like every day I went to college and slapped a smile on my face and acted like everything was happy happy. Then my tutor broke the news that one of our school peers committed suicide. I had a panic attack but no one knew why. I am all teary eyed because that could have been me! It could have been my family moaning me. I tried to tell my friends this, break the silence to my silence but as always no reply, no call back, I'm busy etc.

    Hmmmm.... life is precious. I won't lie to myself I'm weak and I really could go through with killing myself. However, I realised today its a selfish act. I think I might get help. I just hope that voice that stopped me will stop me tonight because I am honestly feeling suicidal. Can you imagine the pills and rope are still on my bed...I share a room with my sister and she hasn't noticed.
    I may be moaned at for this but are you sure you actually have suicidal intent? As in are you crying out for attention or someone to talk to about how you're realling feeling? Because it sounds like you have had plenty of opportunities but for some reason each time you have not carried out the act. Sounds like you have the ideation but not the intent. Sounds like you need to address the underlying feelings which are making you feel that suicide is the answer.
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    http://www.givesmehope.com/
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    You do need to talk to someone, I'm glad you're going to try and sort yourself out. Getting some help could really change your life

    I hope things work out for you!
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    don't be a pussy and just do it!
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    (Original post by rami7)
    don't be a pussy and just do it!
    That's a horrible thing to say. OP, please don't listen to the people who are being rude. They don't know what they're talking about, and their words reflect badly on them, not you. From what I've seen here, you are an incredibly brave individual, and I hope that you see that in yourself. Please don't let some of the people here stop you from seeking professional help.

    I'm rooting for you! :hugs: Please don't ever lose hope.
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    (Original post by Orwell)
    seriously?
    So? Didn't he talk about a voice or something? I just want to know.
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    (Original post by piszczel)
    You silly, we don't actually care whether you kill yourself or not.

    Anyway, if you're gonna do it. Go out with a bang. Jump off a tall building in a crowded area or something. Do it on camera or something. Go skydiving and don't open your parachute. Lying down or rail tracks is lame as ****
    I care, OP. Please don't listen to some of the people here who are obviously not showing you the respect you deserve.

    I really do encourage you to contact Childline (childline.org) either by phone, email or instant message. As someone who has contact Childline myself in the past, I know that they stay true to their word - they're good at listening, and respond without judging. It might help you to talk to someone about how you're feeling, maybe your family as well.

    Please remember that your family and friends love you so much, and that I'm thinking of you and hoping with all my heart that you choose not to take your own life. :console:
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    Hi there,

    I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so desperate right now. Especially the news of suicide in your school, so close to you, must be very worrying. It sounds like you don't have anyone close to you you can turn to. Would you consider calling the Samaritans? Their details can be found here: http://www.samaritans.org/ If you don't feel able to speak to them on the phone, you can email them or text them and they will usually respond within a few hours.

    I'm going to close this thread now, not because we don't care or we don't want to listen to you, but because we are not in the best position to help you and sometimes people post dangerous advice or make insensitive comments. To help you to feel supported and able to cope with the stress you're under, the Samaritans are great for that. Please give them a call. Alternatively, the Samaritans can call you with your permission if you feel unable to call them. If you would like me to ask them to call you, please PM me.
 
 
 
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