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Overbearing Gran watch

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    Okay, basically my Gran is somewhat overbearing. She wants me to visit her pretty much every other month, and it's not that i dislike her, but i have my own life as such. I'm going to university next week and she is already talking about me going to visit her again, when i visited in August.
    She calls every week to see how i am, and although i don't mind that so much, when my family were away at christmas, she would call me every other day to check on me, and i can't help but think now that i'm on my own again, she might do that again.
    I find that she just is overbearing, i have my own life, and although i want her to be part of it, she just interferes too much.
    She sends me a fair bit of money too, she sends me £50 at birthday and christmas, and she sent me £100 for my exam results and another £100 to help with starting university. It kind of feels like she is subliminally saying 'You Owe Me'
    I want her to 'slow down' and not need to see me so much, but i don't want to hurt her feelings, i don't know how to tell her this.
    What can i do?
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    my nan is a bit overbearing too she gets the full costume on and goes out rooting through bins and swiping picnic baskets :/
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    She loves you, she cares about you, she is generous to you and she is interested in you. I really don't think you have too much to complain about. My grandma died when I was 8, I would love her to be able to ring me and ask how I am.
    She is probably lonely and enjoys having you round.
    If it's really too much for you to bear, just explain that you are very busy now you are at uni, and you will do your best to visit her as soon as you have the chance.
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    I can't even imagine anyone being like that with their Grandma. You visited her in August? Wtf, it's now the end of September! I feel sorry for her, she blatantly only cares about you.

    I've moved away to uni now, I was there 3 days before I came home to make sure she was ok. A three hour coach journey for me to see her is nothing. And i've been on the phone like 3/4 times a day to her since moving. She is a godsend. I can't imagine anyone trying to be so distant with their Grans. Grandma's are amazing :yep: (Not all of course).
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    C'mon. If you're not up for a phone chat with her, tell her you'll call back when you're free. Same as when she asks you to come over, tell her you'll pop by when you're not busy. I don't see it as being overbearing-ness at all.
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    i dont see what your problem is...
    when my grandad was alive i used to go out of my way to see how he was doing, help him, watch tv with him. i still lived my life AND had a social life.

    You dont sound like a very caring person really. but maybe shes being overbearing cause you are making an issue out of going to see her.
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    (Original post by Roxiepluto)
    Okay, basically my Gran is somewhat overbearing. She wants me to visit her pretty much every other month, and it's not that i dislike her, but i have my own life as such. I'm going to university next week and she is already talking about me going to visit her again, when i visited in August.
    She calls every week to see how i am, and although i don't mind that so much, when my family were away at christmas, she would call me every other day to check on me, and i can't help but think now that i'm on my own again, she might do that again.
    I find that she just is overbearing, i have my own life, and although i want her to be part of it, she just interferes too much.
    She sends me a fair bit of money too, she sends me £50 at birthday and christmas, and she sent me £100 for my exam results and another £100 to help with starting university. It kind of feels like she is subliminally saying 'You Owe Me'
    I want her to 'slow down' and not need to see me so much, but i don't want to hurt her feelings, i don't know how to tell her this.
    What can i do?
    She cares about you, whats wrong with that? How is she interfering? You only mention her wanting to talk?
    My Grandma doesn't want to speak to me or any of my family anymore... i think you're very lucky.
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    My gran isn't like that.

    But then she is dead. :puppyeyes: :cry::cry2::emo:
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    (Original post by Roxiepluto)
    Okay, basically my Gran is somewhat overbearing. She wants me to visit her pretty much every other month, and it's not that i dislike her, but i have my own life as such. I'm going to university next week and she is already talking about me going to visit her again, when i visited in August.
    She calls every week to see how i am, and although i don't mind that so much, when my family were away at christmas, she would call me every other day to check on me, and i can't help but think now that i'm on my own again, she might do that again.
    I find that she just is overbearing, i have my own life, and although i want her to be part of it, she just interferes too much.
    Doubt that, y'know, seeing as your an adult at uni now. All she was doing was making sure you were okay. No matter how much a life you have now, a day every two months is not a lot. If she's living 500 miles away like my nana then I can see how it would be a problem.

    Besides, all you're doing is complaining about how much of a pain it is for you, what about her? Is your grandad still around, can she get out and about? If chatting on the phone for ten minutes once or twice a week can make her days then stop whining and do it.
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    Oh well, she will die soon.
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    (Original post by Lozza_00)
    Oh well, she will die soon.
    Ohhhhhhhhhh this really shouldn't be funny... xD
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    (Original post by Roxiepluto)
    Okay, basically my Gran is somewhat overbearing. She wants me to visit her pretty much every other month, and it's not that i dislike her, but i have my own life as such. I'm going to university next week and she is already talking about me going to visit her again, when i visited in August.
    She calls every week to see how i am, and although i don't mind that so much, when my family were away at christmas, she would call me every other day to check on me, and i can't help but think now that i'm on my own again, she might do that again.
    I find that she just is overbearing, i have my own life, and although i want her to be part of it, she just interferes too much.
    She sends me a fair bit of money too, she sends me £50 at birthday and christmas, and she sent me £100 for my exam results and another £100 to help with starting university. It kind of feels like she is subliminally saying 'You Owe Me'
    I want her to 'slow down' and not need to see me so much, but i don't want to hurt her feelings, i don't know how to tell her this.
    What can i do?

    Be creative. Send her things. Don't phone or email. Send her picture postcards of your university or its city. Send her anything with a university crest on it. Send her miscellaneous university paperwork, particularly anything with your name on it. Send her photos of you and your university mates. She will show them to all her friends. She is proud of you and you can give her the opportunity to show you off.
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    She only cares......
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    Lol at people having a go at op. Somebody wanting constant contact can feel overwhelming. I know you'll probably say "oh it's only a couple days a month and phone calls several days of the week" but some people don't need that, it doesn't mean they don't care.
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    (Original post by Lizj)
    She loves you, she cares about you, she is generous to you and she is interested in you. I really don't think you have too much to complain about. My grandma died when I was 8, I would love her to be able to ring me and ask how I am.
    She is probably lonely and enjoys having you round.
    If it's really too much for you to bear, just explain that you are very busy now you are at uni, and you will do your best to visit her as soon as you have the chance.
    Couldnt agree more.

    OP, you're overreacting. My nan lives round the corner from me so I see her everyday and I don't think she's overbearing. If I only heard from her as often as you did I'd think I'd done something to upset her
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    (Original post by nulli tertius)
    Be creative. Send her things. Don't phone or email. Send her picture postcards of your university or its city. Send her anything with a university crest on it. Send her miscellaneous university paperwork, particularly anything with your name on it. Send her photos of you and your university mates. She will show them to all her friends. She is proud of you and you can give her the opportunity to show you off.
    Nice idea, rep for this idea. She'll love that, can't think of a nan who wouldn't
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    I dont think this is overbearing at all.. if my nan rings me then i talk to her and spend time making sure that she's okay, she won't be around forever.

    My grandad died when I was 15 and every sunday we had to go and visit him, and some sundays i wished i didn't have to be there.. he would give us a kitkat every week that i hated! But do you know what? I would do ANYTHING to visit on a sunday now and eat a bloody kit kat!

    Enjoy your grandparents while you have them.
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    The phone calls every day sound a bit much to me, but what's wrong with visiting once a month, even if it's a longer journey? My parents also want to phone me every day (and will probably text throughout the day...) to keep tabs on me, so I understand how irritating that can be, it doesn't mean you don't care.

    My advice: have a chat with her about it, see if you can meet each other halfway and get to a conclusion that suits both of you
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    I'm guessing that this may be a troll...

    Unless your nan lives really really far away.

    But anyway, she loves you and wants to see you often because she is proud of you! You're her grandchild! She gives you money not to put you in debt to her, but because she could afford it and wanted to congratulate you and show you her affection.

    I kind of understand if it's real. As teenagers a lot of people don't feel such a strong connection to their grandparents. But in the next couple of years you're probably going to start feeling more connected, and actually look forward to having a chat/seeing them. Even if you don't think about how she feels. She probably has given a lot to you over the years, and just wants to see you occasionally to see how you're getting on, and see that you love her back. Go and see her like once a month when you're at home, maybe more if you live close. And maybe write her a letter after a month at uni or something, saying how you're getting on. It's a small thing to you, but to her it will mean sooo much. And I hate to say it, but people only have a certain amount of time in their life and if something happens to your gran, you will be wishing you went to see her more.

    Go with an open mind and you may find you really start to enjoy seeing her!
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    (Original post by kpwxx)
    I'm guessing that this may be a troll...

    Unless your nan lives really really far away.

    But anyway, she loves you and wants to see you often because she is proud of you! You're her grandchild! She gives you money not to put you in debt to her, but because she could afford it and wanted to congratulate you and show you her affection.

    I kind of understand if it's real. As teenagers a lot of people don't feel such a strong connection to their grandparents. But in the next couple of years you're probably going to start feeling more connected, and actually look forward to having a chat/seeing them. Even if you don't think about how she feels. She probably has given a lot to you over the years, and just wants to see you occasionally to see how you're getting on, and see that you love her back. Go and see her like once a month when you're at home, maybe more if you live close. And maybe write her a letter after a month at uni or something, saying how you're getting on. It's a small thing to you, but to her it will mean sooo much. And I hate to say it, but people only have a certain amount of time in their life and if something happens to your gran, you will be wishing you went to see her more.

    Go with an open mind and you may find you really start to enjoy seeing her!
    This exactly. Especially grandparents, they are getting on afterall. My Grandad died earlier this year and even though we lived together, I still don't feel as though we had enough time. I'd give anything to have the opportunity to see him again, and yet OP sees company with the grandparents (Gran in this case) as such an inconvenience. Pffffft. Some people don't know how lucky they've got it.
 
 
 
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