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    There are several ways in which I'm very worried about university and I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some advice.

    One reason is because it's a completely new experience and a change to my routine, which can cause me to become anxious. I tend to experience social anxiety quite a bit, often in situations that don't have a very pleasant tone but also are unexpected and not easy to prepare for (e.g. if someone unfairly shouts at me or tries to make me feel upset). Hence I'm worried about the social side of university in that I don't think I'll make as many friends as is 'expected' by most people. I've also never really been one to try and go outside my social comfort zone and this has resulted in me having no real hobbies and other people sometimes considered me as dull. I've often tried to avoid unfamiliar social situations: for example, going clubbing very late at night. This is because it's unpredictable, but during my Freshers week I would genuinely like to try and rectify this by trying out some other activities. How can I be more open to participating in unfamiliar social activities and how can I make sure I don't avoid slight risks by completely cutting out what could be a great experience?

    Secondly, I've also never gotten a part time job before alongside my studies because I've often worried that having one would impede with my studies and cause me to perform considerably worse. However, in year 13 I didn't study as intensively as I did in the previous year and a lot of time was spent doing what most people call 'bugger all', so that was time I could have spent getting a part time job and making some money for myself so that I could have enjoyed my personal life a bit more and potentially socialise more. My parents are also telling me that they shouldn't have to be sending money to me because most people my age have part time jobs and can economically support themselves, whereas I haven't ever had that experience and I'm personally regretting it. The fact that my parents are telling me this makes me feel as if I've underestimated how much of a challenge university is going to be and that I won't be able to enjoy myself due to trying to save money all the time. However, I've heard there is plenty of time to get a part time job alongside my degree (as I asked an Exeter Maths student on an open day) but how much part-time work is too much per week?

    Thirdly, I'm also worried about managing my money. I've been told I'd be quite good at this because of my logical approach to things but I also keep thinking that I'll need to make a note of exactly how much I've spent and exactly how much I'll have left and this will unnecessarily consume a lot of time compared to how most people do it. I've often worried about the nitty gritty details of things rather than the general inference so I'm pretty anxious that this won't be at my advantage.

    If anyone could give me some advice on how to find the right balance at university I'd really appreciate it, as I move into my accommodation on Sunday! :eek:
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    Well you seem quite formal. It is the internet and all, but try to be more relaxed in your tone and conversation when you talk to new people. Because if you talk like this in real life then it might make the other students feel like they are talking to an old man and so might feel a bit uncomfortable.
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    (Original post by Koobideh)
    Well you seem quite formal. It is the internet and all, but try to be more relaxed in your tone and conversation when you talk to new people. Because if you talk like this in real life then it might make the other students feel like they are talking to an old man and so might feel a bit uncomfortable.
    I don't talk like this in real life, that's how I type on the Internet, apart from social networking like Facebook and Live Messenger.
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    (Original post by Koobideh)
    Well you seem quite formal. It is the internet and all, but try to be more relaxed in your tone and conversation when you talk to new people. Because if you talk like this in real life then it might make the other students feel like they are talking to an old man and so might feel a bit uncomfortable.
    it could be he generally is quite formal, I mean have a good at his grades in his sig, he's done very well...hell I usually try and make my posts have good spelling/grammer simply because reading txt tlk on a forum pisses me off.

    Anyway OP all I can say is just try to talk to as many people as you can, be as relaxed as possible, remember many others will be feeling the same as you. If freshers doesn't work out friends wise DON'T PANIC and quit after the first week. Wait until you're on your course, have joined a few societies maybe, that's where you're most likely to connect with people for the rest of the year/3 years.
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    dont forget ur tweed

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    Smile at people and talk to them. That'll solve problem 1).
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    Ouch. Yeah OP, I don't think uni is going to be for you.
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    (Original post by OL1V3R)
    Thirdly, I'm also worried about managing my money. I've been told I'd be quite good at this because of my logical approach to things but I also keep thinking that I'll need to make a note of exactly how much I've spent and exactly how much I'll have left and this will unnecessarily consume a lot of time compared to how most people do it. I've often worried about the nitty gritty details of things rather than the general inference so I'm pretty anxious that this won't be at my advantage.
    You really don't need to keep notes. I think what people probably mean by 'logical' is sensible, in that you won't waste money unnecessarily. As long as you have a general idea of how much money you have for the term or whatever and how much you can spend then you will be fine. If you were to get a part time job then you would have an easy way to make friends and you also wouldn't have to worry about money so much.

    As for the social side, the only thing you can do is put yourself out there and try to make friends. In Fresher's Week people mainly go out with their flatmates so I wouldn't worry about being a loner. I'm not sure what you mean by 'unpredictable' but if you are apprehensive about going out, remember you can leave at any time and you will be with your flatmates etc who should look out for you. Maybe you could try going to the daytime events which will be less intense so you might feel more at ease. Everyone will be in the same position of being away from home and wanting to make friends so you should try to forget your worries (I know it's hard) and enjoy yourself
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    (Original post by OL1V3R)
    There are several ways in which I'm very worried about university and I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some advice.

    One reason is because it's a completely new experience and a change to my routine, which can cause me to become anxious. I tend to experience social anxiety quite a bit, often in situations that don't have a very pleasant tone but also are unexpected and not easy to prepare for (e.g. if someone unfairly shouts at me or tries to make me feel upset). Hence I'm worried about the social side of university in that I don't think I'll make as many friends as is 'expected' by most people. I've also never really been one to try and go outside my social comfort zone and this has resulted in me having no real hobbies and other people sometimes considered me as dull. I've often tried to avoid unfamiliar social situations: for example, going clubbing very late at night. This is because it's unpredictable, but during my Freshers week I would genuinely like to try and rectify this by trying out some other activities. How can I be more open to participating in unfamiliar social activities and how can I make sure I don't avoid slight risks by completely cutting out what could be a great experience?

    Secondly, I've also never gotten a part time job before alongside my studies because I've often worried that having one would impede with my studies and cause me to perform considerably worse. However, in year 13 I didn't study as intensively as I did in the previous year and a lot of time was spent doing what most people call 'bugger all', so that was time I could have spent getting a part time job and making some money for myself so that I could have enjoyed my personal life a bit more and potentially socialise more. My parents are also telling me that they shouldn't have to be sending money to me because most people my age have part time jobs and can economically support themselves, whereas I haven't ever had that experience and I'm personally regretting it. The fact that my parents are telling me this makes me feel as if I've underestimated how much of a challenge university is going to be and that I won't be able to enjoy myself due to trying to save money all the time. However, I've heard there is plenty of time to get a part time job alongside my degree (as I asked an Exeter Maths student on an open day) but how much part-time work is too much per week?

    Thirdly, I'm also worried about managing my money. I've been told I'd be quite good at this because of my logical approach to things but I also keep thinking that I'll need to make a note of exactly how much I've spent and exactly how much I'll have left and this will unnecessarily consume a lot of time compared to how most people do it. I've often worried about the nitty gritty details of things rather than the general inference so I'm pretty anxious that this won't be at my advantage.

    If anyone could give me some advice on how to find the right balance at university I'd really appreciate it, as I move into my accommodation on Sunday! :eek:
    just stick with maths and u ll be fine
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    I'm in a similar situation to you, OP, apart from that fact that I'm not as much of an extreme case (or so it seems) as yourself nor do I need to get a job. :p:

    When you move into the accommodation make sure that you say hi to the other people living with you. A simple smile and, 'Hello.' would be nice. Can ask all the boring questions about where they're from, what subject they're studying, etc etc etc. It just breaks the ice a little. You have a kitchen, right? If so, make sure you go in there after you've unpacked and try and socialise or smalltalk with your fellow residents.

    As for the other stuff - freshers' week, clubbing and so forth, I'm not much help as I'm in the same position. Just remember that you're in the SU (or wherever), you're safe, everyone is there to be happy and have a good time (not to make trouble for you or each other) and that you can go back to your room any time you wish - you live close by! You sound like someone who probably doesn't drink. I'm the same. Hopefully there'll be like-minded people at your university, and if not other people always tend to understand your reasons for not doing so and not look down upon you for them.

    Just try to look forward to the fact that you'll be meeting lots of new, friendly and (mostly) intelligent people. The better your mindset is before you go the better the time you'll have of it. Go forth and prosper.
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    This isn't meant in an offensive way, merely just an observation but you sound a lot like my friend who has aspergers. The social anxiety, going a bit ott on things like budgeting, worry about work and your formal internet tone. But that's merely an aside and maybe something for you to think about possibly and if not, it's just a random comment from someone on the internet.

    Anyway, one thing about university to remember is that you won't like everyone you meet. Be civil to them but if you're not best friends by the end of the first day it's definitely nothing to worry about! Get used to some people and perhaps go and meet next door's flat with them or something like that. Also, there are so many people at uni that you'll definitely find someone that you get on with. Don't panic about it! Packs of biscuits, cups of tea and so on are really helpful because they give you something to do during awkward moments of silence in conversation!

    Money and job go hand in hand. If you're able to budget well and get the max student loan you shouldn't have a problem with getting through uni without a job. What I try to do with my budgeting is set a weekly max for buying food and just tot it up as i walk around the supermarket. It takes a bit longer but is generally fine at the end of the day. For social stuff I have a certain amount of money a week and once it's gone there's no more coming out of the cash machine until next monday. Bills and other things should be considered too. Perhaps set up a spreadsheet to help you work it out or use a template on here. If you do decide to get a job, our uni recommends that you don't get more than 16 hrs a week. If you're an arts student or someone with few lecture hours this could be fine but as a science student I find it pretty hard to fit in (because I don't want to work on weekends). I have a flexible job with the uni being a student ambassador which is a helpful financial addition and also, it means I can do whatever hours I want. Perhaps your uni have things like this you could join?

    Anyway, I would definitely try to overcome your social anxiety and get to some societies and try out some other things. University's probably one of the best chances you're going to get to do this so don't waste it! If you like grab a friend and go along with them.

    Good luck - I hope you have a great time!
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    It sounds flippant but just relax, try your best and then everything will come with time!
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    (Original post by hothedgehog)
    This isn't meant in an offensive way, merely just an observation but you sound a lot like my friend who has aspergers. The social anxiety, going a bit ott on things like budgeting, worry about work and your formal internet tone. But that's merely an aside and maybe something for you to think about possibly and if not, it's just a random comment from someone on the internet.
    Very good observation! I clicked on OP's societies, on the right near the top in his posts, he is a member of the TSR Aspergers society..
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Very good observation! I clicked on OP's societies, on the right near the top in his posts, he is a member of the TSR Aspergers society..
    Not sure if that was meant in a sarcastic way or not but I'm going to go with not. I didn't see the society thing so it's good to know that I haven't gone and stuck my foot in that one too much!
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    (Original post by hothedgehog)
    Not sure if that was meant in a sarcastic way or not but I'm going to go with not. I didn't see the society thing so it's good to know that I haven't gone and stuck my foot in that one too much!
    aww no it wasn't sarcastic!:o: I mean you were able to figure out he might have it with just those paragraphs.

    (hugs for you)
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    Learn from your mistakes. Just follow the usual smile, be friendly, talkative and it should be all good in the hood.
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    Learn from your mistakes.
    Yes. Learn from them. :moon:
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    I am very anti social.. I like having a small group of friends.. and tbh I was worried just like you

    HOWEVER. I've been out every day of freshers because.. well.. it's the thing to do. When it settles down I want to find a group of people just like me.
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    The best thing that ever happened to me was not having the internet on my computer in Freshers week, it made me have to get out of my room, off TSR and Facebook and go out and meet people.
    Seriously, try to spend as little time in your room as possible.
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    You'd be amazed how far simple things go - things like smiling, remembering peoples names, saying hi and basically being nice when you first meet people.
 
 
 
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