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Is having sex or a relationship with your housemate totally forbidden? watch

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    (Original post by Wanischa)
    LOL, do I know you IRL.
    I swear my friend is having this exact same problem.
    Hmmm I could've sworn you was already meant to go off to uni this year. What happened? Sorry If I've mixed you up with someone else.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, finally someone, for explaining things!
    I didn't even think about courting and mystery, those kinds of things.
    I suppose we would miss out on that.
    It is a big house with a garden though (we got a good deal), and he's already got a job firmly lined up, and we do different courses. Probably be spending a lot of time together over freshers though.

    I've decided not to do or say anything until we've moved in and lived together for a bit at least, in case I change my mind.
    Like I said...I really didn't want a boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, I thought in a way "playing the field" would be more fun, but I can't see me finding anyone I would like more than I like him so now that idea seems stupid...I wish I knew what he wants!
    No problem. It would be a bit childish to completely write off the idea, as these things are rarely black and white and it might work out - as long as you're aware of the potential problems it might cause you, this guy and your housemates. Bare in mind you will be meeting a lot of people as a fresher, so hold your horses as he might just be one of many nice young men. And like I said, your personalities might not really click, it might just be a passing phase and you could end up friend-zoning him because, you know, women are so good at that.
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    It's pretty stupid. Imagine how awkward it would be if things go sour? There are loads of decent people out there who aren't your housemate.
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    You will never really know unless you try.
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    #1

    (Original post by kristinaalovesu)
    You will never really know unless you try.
    What do I do??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What do I do??
    I'd say if you really really like him, go for it. Tell him how you're feeling, don't just ride on him, because he might not take you seriously. The only way to know is to confront him and see what he says.
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    (Original post by Fat-Love)
    Hmmm I could've sworn you was already meant to go off to uni this year. What happened? Sorry If I've mixed you up with someone else.
    I missed by one grade and I didn't want to go through clearing/other unis.
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    I did it, and it's working well so far. Moved in as friends in September 2008, been together (and living together since). It could be awkward if it ended badly, but meh... you only live once. Stupid cliche, but fairly true; better to regret the things you do than the things you don't. As one person said, though, it does tend to get serious quickly. Because you're around each other so much, you feel like you've been together a year after only a couple of months. Which is nice in some ways, but rubbish in some ways - kinda miss a lot of the new relationship romance stuff.
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    (Original post by Happy Insomniac)
    I did it, and it's working well so far. Moved in as friends in September 2008, been together (and living together since). It could be awkward if it ended badly, but meh... you only live once. Stupid cliche, but fairly true; better to regret the things you do than the things you don't. As one person said, though, it does tend to get serious quickly. Because you're around each other so much, you feel like you've been together a year after only a couple of months. Which is nice in some ways, but rubbish in some ways - kinda miss a lot of the new relationship romance stuff.
    I'm used to that though to be honest. My forces ex was deployed a month after we started going out so things got very serious very quickly.
    Can I ask what happened at the start, how you find out you liked each other, how you got together etc?
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    Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm used to that though to be honest. My forces ex was deployed a month after we started going out so things got very serious very quickly.
    Can I ask what happened at the start, how you find out you liked each other, how you got together etc?
    We actually started off just having sex. We were attracted to each other, and figured having someone in the house to do when you felt like it would be fun. Ended up liking each other the more time we spent together (as we were sleeping together, but also going on in groups of friends and such). Took about a month or two from sleeping together to deciding to actually be a couple.

    At the end of the day, the house lease is what, a year? If it doesn't work out and it's awkward, so what? You're not stuck there forever. I've had enough crap/arkward housemates through random chance over the years, it's all part of life!
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    (Original post by Happy Insomniac)
    We actually started off just having sex. We were attracted to each other, and figured having someone in the house to do when you felt like it would be fun. Ended up liking each other the more time we spent together (as we were sleeping together, but also going on in groups of friends and such). Took about a month or two from sleeping together to deciding to actually be a couple.

    At the end of the day, the house lease is what, a year? If it doesn't work out and it's awkward, so what? You're not stuck there forever. I've had enough crap/arkward housemates through random chance over the years, it's all part of life!
    That's pretty much what I hope will come of this
    And if he just wants to sleep with me and that's it then I suppose I'll deal.
    That's true, it's only really October-June!
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    (Original post by Trell)
    You do whatever the **** you want.
    This, and it applies to everything else in life? ok? no more dumb threads please fellow TSRians..
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    You have to weigh up the risk: it could work, it could also turn into a really awkward situation if he doesn't feel the same way.

    Also, moving in with a boyfriend has its own additional risks (the chances of the relationship souring quicker: it's not easy to share accommodation with other people in general...everyone has annoying habits!). So by making a move on him you will be taking double the risk.

    Personally, I could never, it would feel like incest
    But I don't think anyone frowns on it in any way!
    (If you feel strongly enough, go for it!)
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    Yeah I agree if it doesn't work out then it would be REALLY awkard.. you have to live with them for the next nine months or so! Can you imagine what it would be like having to see them every day after you broke up or something.. I know it takes time but you can get over someone.
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    You all need to face the truth: One night of fun is worth a year of awkward silences.
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    (Original post by Wanischa)
    LOL, do I know you IRL.
    I swear my friend is having this exact same problem.
    Nope that friend of yours is me
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    The only problem is if it ends bad... but I would go for it!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I REALLY fancy my new housemate and I have no idea whether or not he likes me back. I have that feeling about him that makes me sure that I'd be upset if I saw him with another girl, or even worse, if he brought a girl back to the house one night. I don't want this "does he or doesn't he" worry hanging over me all the time. I really want something to happen between us, even if at first it's just a kiss so that I know he likes me back.
    Even though I'm not looking for a boyfriend, if he asked me out I'm pretty sure I'd say yes.

    BUT everyone I've spoken to says nothing can ever happen between us because it could get "really awkward", and people in these kinds of relationships say that it always turns into arguments and bad feelings.
    Does this HAVE to be the case? If we give each other plenty of space, why do there have to be problems any more than for other couples? And surely at some point couples move in together anyway. Or should I make it very clear that we can't be serious like that, but keep it at casual occasional sex or something?

    I really can't see any way of getting over him without something happening between us first. Help appreciated! x
    Its okay

    I am sure you can deal with hooking up with him just as I am confident in your ability to deal with it rationally and in a mature manner should any fall out occur later one
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    You never know until you try.
 
 
 
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