Personality vs looks

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mau5

When girls say they go for personality, they will but only if he is tall enough, big enough, good looking or confident, has money/high status.

This.

Reply 21

I'm_Unsafe.

Danz123

I do agree with you, what I was suggesting was that do looks matter more than they used to? I'm not talking the TSR threads with pics and whatnot, just the threads with general questions, like 'would you date a guy who wasn't manly?' most girls on that thread said no.

I just always thought, since this question has been asked before, most people answered that personality was more important. Then I saw the answers they gave for similar questions or situations, and I never expected them to be that shallow.

Consider this: if a girl had gotten to know a guy and liked him a lot for who he was, what do you think she would say if he asked her out? Consider that he isn't the tall dark and handsome guy that most girls want, he may be short, skinny. Do you think, judging by what girls think on height, build, etc that she would say yes? What are the chances?

Well, I can't speak for other girls, but I would say yes. And for the record, I wouldn't say I'm 'into' short/skinny guys. Another example, the guy I'm seeing at the moment is ginger, now I would never have said that gingers were my type, but I got to know him and I liked him so *shrugs* I wasn't bothered.

Reply 22

Danz123

I'm_Unsafe.

I'm glad that you would say yes, and I know you can't speak for other girls, but I just wanted your opinion on the likelihood of a girl saying yes judging by all the criteria girls look for if you will, like height, build etc. The answer might not be clear cut, but thanks for the input anyway :smile:

Reply 23

lukasvalio

Well for one thing men and women are different so there's no point in finding an agreement there.

For women it's about the personality (confidence). The look arent as important (and I mean those you were born with, but if you want to get love you need to lead a healthy life style, be clean, smell good etc...). The good looks for men in most cases back fire on them because when a girl thinks he's really attractive she'll be expecting from him something magical (in the personality department) but what they'll find is an insecure little buy. I'd say for a girl it's 80% personality and 20 % looks

Now for men looks are the most important thing. He has to like what he sees first to even talk to her. But sadly looks can only get you so far. Personality is important for men who want a long term relationship. For a man 80% looks/ 20% personality.

And yes there are exceptions like in everything but this is quite accurate.

Reply 24

tinywings

I wonder how many of the guys here whining about how awful and shallow women are would go out with a fat ugly girl? :smile:

Reply 25

SmartFool

Post above is so true! When do you ever see an ugly girl with a good looking guy? Men generally are too shallow it explains why most girls nowadays are so insecure.

Reply 26

galpinator

Depends what your after..
Quicky = looks
relationship = personality xD

Reply 27

Danz123

SmartFool

Post above is so true! When do you ever see an ugly girl with a good looking guy? Men generally are too shallow it explains why most girls nowadays are so insecure.

There we go, blame the guys for everything that happens to girls.

Would you girls go for a fat ugly guy? Looks are subjective by the way, so a girl you may think is ugly, might actually look good to someone else. I personally, if the girl had an good personality, would go for it. Besides, there are only very few truly ugly girls and guys, the girls who I think are below average could have their attributes, like nice eyes or whatever.

The good-looking girls you see around with guys who aren't as good-looking, could be to do with money? Not all girls are angelic enough to completely disregard looks. If a girl does go out with a guy for money, that's pretty low in my book.

Reply 28

tinywings

Danz123

The good-looking girls you see around with guys who aren't as good-looking, could be to do with money? Not all girls are angelic enough to completely disregard looks. If a girl does go out with a guy for money, that's pretty low in my book.

But even if a girl is with a guy because of his money, that shows she's not that concerned about looks, right? Which is what this thread is about.

Plus isn't it pretty low to assume if a good looking girl's going out with a not so good looking guy she must be doing it for money?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 29

Ammelia

Unfortunately, looks are considered more important, so yes.

Reply 30

Danz123

tinywings

Look at the post again. I said it COULD be to do with money. Other couples may very well be going out because they like each other, which is great.

Just because a girl is with a guy for money doesn't mean she doesn't care about looks. The moment she drains him of his money, she'd probably move on, because he isn't handsome enough for her. If a girl is only going out with a guy for money, that's all she's there for. Money. She doesn't actually care about the person, their looks or personality. However if a guy came along who was good-looking, had a little money, and had a good personality, she'd probably stay with him, even if he became broke.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 31

lukasvalio

Danz123 it seems that you're having trouble with girls and you blame your looks thats why you assume gils want the good looking guy. But no, they don't. ( Well what's in their fantasies is something else ^^)

Reply 32

Koobideh

The thing is that a good personality can make someone so hot to you. Like when you first meet you do not really find them attractive, but then you get to know them their personality makes them really sexy :smile:

But tbh, right now at my age I prefer looks over personality. I'd like to have both, but if I had to choose a hot girl with bad personality, or ugly girl with good personality I'd choose the hot girl any day.

Maybe later when I'm more mature and actually looking for a long-term relationship then personality will become a lot more important to me, but right now it is not so much in my priorities.

Reply 33

warhol

I go for looks first, and then if their personality is good or bad I can find out from the experience of dating.
I know it's sad that I might be missing out on a person who is highly compatible with me based on personality, but are they really that compatible to start with if I don't find them attractive? I'm not shallow with choosing friends or the other people I surround myself with, but surely it's understandable that I'd like to be attracted to a partner?

The idea of dating is that good looks are subjective and therefore, there should be some person somewhere who'll think you're attractive, and even embrace your flaws.

Reply 34

Koobideh

Danz123

From what I've seen the most attractive women tend to not go for equally attractive men. Most of the boyfriends and husbands of really stunning women tend to just be normal looking guys. If you don't know many really attractive women in real life then you can look at the really sexy female celebrities and their boyfriends then, like Adriana Lima, Megan Fox, Tyra Banks, etc.

I think there is some sort of psychology behind this, but I'm not fully sure what it is. Most of the really fit girls I know are with normal looking guys.

Reply 35

IanDangerously

Personality is dictated by looks in the majority of instances imo, because of the natural vanity in the human race. Most of the worlds successful, outgoing, lively, confident people tend to be what we would typically deem attractive; whereas a large number of unattractive people suffer from low self-esteem, social anxiety, and can be very introverted. The flipside to that is commonly found amonst the Chav species - the ugly people who make themselves brash, loud and almost intolerably obnoxious to try and deflect attention away from the fact that they're physically hideous.

Reply 36

stinky--pete

looks attract someone but it is the personality that makes you decide whether they're worth your time!! but you have to remember that everyone finds different things attractive

Reply 37

Danz123

Koobideh

There isn't. Looks are subjective as I have said. So the guys you find 'normal looking' could look very attractive to those women you've listed. You can't really make assumptions that most women don't care much about looks just from what you've seen.

Reply 38

NaturalDisaster

Both! You need both! Personality but no physical attraction (they might not be ugly, just not your type) means you could only be friends, Physical attraction but no personality makes them totally undateable and wouldn't be the best friend either. So you absolutely need both. Or at least, I do. Yes, I'm shallow, but I'll admit that. I don't choose what I'm attracted to, I won't let looks get in the way of my friendship, and I'll give them a chance no matter what they look like, but if they're not my type, then they're just not my type, there's nothing anyone can do about it. Although confidence is a big factor, and that can be sorted. I like guys who seem to be totally comfortable with who they are, and aren't just desperately trying to impress girls. Confidence can make all the difference. But don't confude confidence for arrogance, for heavens sake! Serious arrogance is worse than being shy! Being shy makes you adorable, but not really dateable, but arrogance just makes you a tool.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 39

Koobideh

Danz123

There's a difference between being good looking and being sexually attracted to someone. I think George Clooney is good looking but I am not sexually attracted to him because I'm a straight male.

Obviously the women find these men they are going out with to be sexually attractive. What I'm saying is that they are not necessarily what everyone would consider 'handsome'. And women don't always feel attracted to the best looking guy, and often the best looking women do prefer to go out with guys who just look normal.