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    So, I'm just about to go into my third year at uni. I've not had the best of times so far and I was hoping to be able to turn it around this year. I want to go out more, have fun and generally try and crawl out of my ever hardening shell.

    Problem is, I'm in a long term, long distance relationship with my boyfriend and part of me is telling me that I'm missing out on student life because of it. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore and love my boyfriend and would never dream of leaving or cheating on him, or anything like that. He has been there for me and kept me going when no one else has, and he is one of the only people on this planet that I would die for if I had to. Without him, I'm not 100% sure I'd still be here today...

    But part of me thinks that because we've been together since before I sarted university, I'm missing out on the whole student experience because I can't do what other people do. I feel guilty if I go on a night out and some random guy comes and dances with me. I'd feel absolutely awful if anything happened on a night out... Because of this I have kept myself to myself so much and I rarely go out any more.

    I also don't feel all that comfortable making friends with guys because I'm afraid of what my boyfriend might think (he can be quite jealous, but I think that's probably because any male friends I have spend more time with me than he can, because of our LDR situation)... Or it could just be me feeling guilty for no reason. I don't tend to get on well with girls, so not making friends with many boys either leaves me pretty damn lonely most of the time.

    I can't help feeling like I'm missing out on something. I don't want to leave my boyfriend, because I love him to bits. But I don't know if there's a way to get the experience without the guilt I feel; even though I have no intention of doing anything to hurt my boyfriend...

    I don't quite know what I'm asking for here, probably just venting out a little...

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    Tell your boyfriend exactly this, explaining to him the intensity of the love you feel for him but with the need for friends and to make the most out of the best years of your life.

    He needs to understand this. Surely if you'd die for him you'd like him to reciprocate and sacrifice a bit of trust for your happiness?
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    (Original post by alice4thamoon)
    Tell your boyfriend exactly this, explaining to him the intensity of the love you feel for him but with the need for friends and to make the most out of the best years of your life.

    He needs to understand this. Surely if you'd die for him you'd like him to reciprocate and sacrifice a bit of trust for your happiness?
    It's not that he doesn't trust me. When I started university he didn't like me going out at all... He wouldn't stop me, but I knew he wasn't happy with the idea. Nowadays he's far more likely to tell me to bugger off and have some fun! It's more me feeling guilty than him not trusting me.
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    (Original post by ghostbusterbunny)
    It's not that he doesn't trust me. When I started university he didn't like me going out at all... He wouldn't stop me, but I knew he wasn't happy with the idea. Nowadays he's far more likely to tell me to bugger off and have some fun! It's more me feeling guilty than him not trusting me.
    Sounds like you could be harbouring subconscious resentment because you feel you "owe him" your life and are past those times and now feel restricted by that... and are then feeling guilty for these feelings? I dunno, I don't do psychology lol... re-evaluate your relationship and just check you haven't grown into different "places" and are now wanting to find your adult self... if that makes any sense.

    But in the meantime, if a guy tries it on in a club do the avoidance escaping thing, and as long as any guy mates know you are committed to your bf then you should be fine.

    Any help or have I just given you insane babbling? haha
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    (Original post by alice4thamoon)
    Sounds like you could be harbouring subconscious resentment because you feel you "owe him" your life and are past those times and now feel restricted by that... and are then feeling guilty for these feelings? I dunno, I don't do psychology lol... re-evaluate your relationship and just check you haven't grown into different "places" and are now wanting to find your adult self... if that makes any sense.
    Hmm, well I definitely don't resent him, the complete opposite! He's the one pushing me to get out there and try and enjoy myself more! He knows exactly what's good for me and is trying to help me on my way to getting it. Without those nudges I'd be very miserable and lonely...

    I'm the one forming the blocks I think, if that makes any sense? I definitely feel no bad things towards our relationship, we're just working our way towards being able to be together. I just want to be able to have fun in the mean time as I still have two years left of uni. My last two have been a bit rubbishy, so I want to make the most of what's left!

    But in the meantime, if a guy tries it on in a club do the avoidance escaping thing, and as long as any guy mates know you are committed to your bf then you should be fine.

    Any help or have I just given you insane babbling? haha
    Haha, definitely help! It's nice to be able to try and work things out. God knows I need to!!
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    (Original post by ghostbusterbunny)
    Nowadays he's far more likely to tell me to bugger off and have some fun!
    This.

    Just remember he will be there for you when you come back from whatever you do. Maybe even send him a text or two whilst you are out asking him how he is. You don't have to have a communication blackout so to speak whilst you are out but don't text him soo much that you avoid speaking to your friends.
 
 
 
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