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I dont get on with anyone, what am i missing? watch

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    Ive never really had any friends people are usually nice to me at first but then after a few weeks of getting to know me tend to ignore me I think because I come across as thick I have bad social skills and dont even like talking. Ive never had a bf either probably a mixture between my looks (others think im ugly i dont) and lack of social skills. Being a 22 year old female I find it easier to get on with older people expecially men cause they are just easy to chat to, laid back and not cliquey and *****y like most women/girls seem to be.

    I started a university healthcare course last year and there is only a group of 9 of us. Three of them in particular were very cliquey (dont know if its spelt right) 2 girls in their twenties and a 40 year old woman (who is like a kid really) they have a good laugh together. At first I thought they were cool as I like having a laugh I rarely take things seriously or worry, I dont say much but when i do its usually an attempted joke or something. They would go to the bus station at the end of the day joking about sexual stuff/talking about their personal lives/lightly taking the mick out of people and i thought I fitted in with these but they soon started ignoring me i guess i came across as a bit slow and weird, plus im a virgin so couldnt join in with the sexual talk:rolleyes: oh well. They are into guys and sex im into my lonely gym and keeping fit life.

    They fell out with a few people in the group and from then on all they have done is b**** about them all the time. I said a few things that disagreed with them and since then they are gradually starting to turn on me taking the p***. My only option really is to keep quiet/agree with them or face 3 years of hell lol. There is another clique in the group but they ignore me/keep themselves to themselves the rest of the group is just the older men (age 40/50ish) who I find to be nice they will chat with me but I can see 2 of them make the effort to chat cause im always alone so its out of sympathy really I think. The tutor had a meeting with us all cause someone had complained we wernt getting along, I wasnt involved in any of the arguing but was told that I didn't look bothered about anything and should make more of an effort so since then people have tried to get along and involve me but its blatntly cause they are supposed to, not cause they want to lol.

    I feel that its me in the wrong all the time its like im missing something everyone else has. Its not just these people, every club i join people are the same way, they will be nice at first then sort of go off me as though Im too weird and boring. Im just a loner I though uni would be a fresh start I thought maybe i was just around the wrong people before but it seems most people are the same, I can't keep up with all the modern talk/jokes etc so no one respects me i get ignored all the time. Im just immature, people say that im funny and make them laugh with my ways, the things i say and my doppiness etc thats the only positive thing about me (and its not really positive is it:o: ).

    It seems theres no point to my life I cant keep up with or get close with anyone!
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    I'm sorry I have to say this: societies? Just go to your union and strike up a conversation with a stranger.
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    (Original post by ZizziHikaru)
    I'm sorry I have to say this: societies? Just go to your union and strike up a conversation with a stranger.
    I dont think them lot go to societies they have families and whatever and im still living at home but yea i could try to get involved more with stuff, I wish i could be more social but i enjoy my own company all the time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont think them lot go to societies they have families and whatever and im still living at home but yea i could try to get involved more with stuff, I wish i could be more social but i enjoy my own company all the time.
    So erm...what's the problem?
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    So erm...what's the problem?
    well im not normal! Id like to have some close friends but at the same time im not social.
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    Sounds to me like your trying to follow someone elses lifestyle. If you enjoy your own company, hell go for it. Do some cooking for hours (I knew a flatmate that did this - she was always in kitchen). Don't worry if you think you are a lonar. Your only a lonar if you're not enjoying yourself really. Don't kid yourself going clubbing if it makes you feel unconformable. Take up a society and don't worry about not agreeing with them either. If you disagree with them, tell them to their face (not in a mean way obviously) and be confident in yourself. After your course is over at least you'll feel more confident that you were yourself.

    Also sounds to me like your hanging out with the wrong crowd. Your course mates don't sound like you so definitely try a more relaxing society I really don't know like even something like "tea drinking" or "chess". You know you will get quiet people joining chess for instance I don't know. Hope this helps, sorry if it doesn't but good luck
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    (Original post by Land-based mammal)
    Nothing changes your personality like religion, Islam to be specific. You need to be at peace with your self (at least to a degree) for most people to enjoy your company.
    I am at peace, theres no one more laid back than me!
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    (Original post by djpailo)
    Sounds to me like your trying to follow someone elses lifestyle. If you enjoy your own company, hell go for it. Do some cooking for hours (I knew a flatmate that did this - she was always in kitchen). Don't worry if you think you are a lonar. Your only a lonar if you're not enjoying yourself really. Don't kid yourself going clubbing if it makes you feel unconformable. Take up a society and don't worry about not agreeing with them either. If you disagree with them, tell them to their face (not in a mean way obviously) and be confident in yourself. After your course is over at least you'll feel more confident that you were yourself.

    Also sounds to me like your hanging out with the wrong crowd. Your course mates don't sound like you so definitely try a more relaxing society I really don't know like even something like "tea drinking" or "chess". You know you will get quiet people joining chess for instance I don't know. Hope this helps, sorry if it doesn't but good luck
    cheers, yea the thing is no one is really like me:confused: Im not saying im special or anything im just weird, in a bad way. Theres nothing normal about me.
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    I know the feeling ha. But I was lucky and met someone special and we've been together for two years now Don't worry about it.

    It might even be the fact you are worried about it that is causing you to act differently then what you normally would. I suggest a feel good film to watch now :P (Early Harry Potter films!! Lol)
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    If you like being by yourself, have you thought about whether you'd be happy if you did get some close friends? If you enjoy your own company, what's thr problem? Don't make yourself unhappy just to be normal.
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    Occasionally you will find someone who you can relate to completely. This is socialising at its best. Most of the time you will be talking to someone to either be less alone or to sleep with them. Humans are a tough game.
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    (Original post by Land-based mammal)
    Nothing changes your personality like religion, Islam to be specific. You need to be at peace with your self (at least to a degree) for most people to enjoy your company.
    so praying 5 times a day and starving himself for a month every year will somehow make people like him? right...
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    (Original post by thepubemuncher)
    so praying 5 times a day and starving himself for a month every year will somehow make people like him? right...
    What a ********. Ignorant monkey.
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    You're just a socially inept person, and you're a bit too old to change, otherwise you would have done it by now. You're just going to have to accept that making friends isn't your strong suit, unless you find someone equally as inept, shy and introverted as yourself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It seems theres no point to my life I cant keep up with or get close with anyone!
    :rolleyes:

    Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and grow a bloody back-bone. You have just acknowledged that you lack the self-confidence to carry yourself through a descent conversation with anyone.

    Why don't you work on that first?

    Than look at ways of expanding your knowledge-base, giving you more to discuss should topics arise. Current affairs is always a good way to start.

    Meeting new people is relatively easy, especially when we're young. Take advantage of university student life: the clubs, networks, and other associations.

    Get out there, and get involved.

 
 
 
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