Turn on thread page Beta

i'm rubbish at making small talk, help? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Does anyone else have the same problem?

    I'm starting uni on monday and i'm sure i'll be okay with starting conversations and asking a few questions but then i don't really know what to say after that? I really like talking to new people but it seems like i run out of ideas for small talk. I'm not really shy but i'm introverted and i sort of get tired after a few questions and don't know what to fill the silence with...

    The friends i've had before had been my friends for years, so this is the first situation where i'll have to put the effort in with getting to know people and making small talk to get to know them better.

    Anyone have any tips on how to get better at it?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    well how did you get to know your old friends? Surely you talked about hobbies? Tried to find out what stuff in common you guys had ... interests?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i'm sure i'll be okay with starting conversations and asking a few questions but then i don't really know what to say after that?


    The objective of small-talk is to ask a few questions, or make a few observations/statements that eventually lead on to a greater conversation/dialogue.

    For example,

    Mark: "the sun seems bright today Joe".
    Joe: "Absolutely, it is strange though, we're suppose to be facing winter any day now".

    Mark: "Indeed, climate change has a lot to answer for hehehe".

    Joe: "So what's your position on the whole debacle Mark?"

    Mark: "I think it's man-made, we have inhabited this world for thousands of years. Naturally, our responsibility to invest in its sustainability has seriously been lacking".


    I could go on forever, hopefully you get my drift. A single statement that leads onto an overall conversation/dialogue is small-talk. It could also be a few small questions.

    There really is no required-skill for this task, just the ability to know the content of a particular topic that is raised. The last thing you want is a topic that you're not particularly interested in, or an area that you particularly lack in knowledge or awareness.


    Go fourth and prosper with the art of small-talk!

    :p:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Come on, these are people you've never met before and you don't know anything about them. How about asking where they're from, what they're studying, what socs they are going to join, events you're planning on going to in freshers week. That was just off the top of my head.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't even try to small talk now: I've offended too many people with my clumsy attempts

    So yeah, if you're crap at it....beware!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It's all about the weather.
    I try asking questions about the other person, then expanding on their answers I guess
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'm in the same situation as u. I'm cool with meeting new people its just that I don't know how to go about it...like what stuff to talk if I don't connect with them?

    OP can u PM me?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Same here OP.
    When people respond me with one word answers, i do full stop and just shut up looking stupid.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Just pretend to be interested

    Or else relax..once you relax you'll be fine and act chill.

    ANd chill-ness is always cool
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    If youre going to wait to be spoken to, please don't give one word answers. I often try really hard to chat and this annoys me so much. Youre never going to get into conversation if your side is monosyllabic!
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sequin)
    If youre going to wait to be spoken to, please don't give one word answers. I often try really hard to chat and this annoys me so much. Youre never going to get into conversation if your side is monosyllabic!
    ugh yeah I had a bit of that yesterday, after a while they starting using full sentences though, still not banter level, guess some folks are rather shy with all this new stuff, she did seem pretty shy/quiet to be fair, which is why I initiated a conversation as I try to avoid having people on their own.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I'm the same. I've already had my induction day at uni earlier this week and had some really lovely people come up to me but i was unable to maintain a conversation and in the end they all drifted away, probably thought i was bored/didn't want to talk. I'm going to try harder on Monday!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    am alright , i think my problem is talking/adressing to more than 3 people i feel like i lack confidence , i had a meeting last week at job every 1 was giving brief to the managers about job experience i was bit confused but at the end pretended to be fine, asking few questions.how can you get rid of 'confusionism' sometimes realy annoys
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    what subject/s are you taking?
    did you have a good weekend?
    what you doing this weekend?
    do you know many people here?
    where did you go to college?
    its nice weather today isnt it
    etc etc etc, im a pro at small talk hahah (did work experience at a hairdressers for a month)
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 25, 2010
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.