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i'm rubbish at making small talk, help?

Does anyone else have the same problem?

I'm starting uni on monday and i'm sure i'll be okay with starting conversations and asking a few questions but then i don't really know what to say after that? I really like talking to new people but it seems like i run out of ideas for small talk. I'm not really shy but i'm introverted and i sort of get tired after a few questions and don't know what to fill the silence with...

The friends i've had before had been my friends for years, so this is the first situation where i'll have to put the effort in with getting to know people and making small talk to get to know them better.

Anyone have any tips on how to get better at it? :smile:

Reply 1

strawberry

well how did you get to know your old friends? Surely you talked about hobbies? Tried to find out what stuff in common you guys had ... interests?

Reply 2

the_educated1

Anonymous

i'm sure i'll be okay with starting conversations and asking a few questions but then i don't really know what to say after that?

The objective of small-talk is to ask a few questions, or make a few observations/statements that eventually lead on to a greater conversation/dialogue.

For example,

Mark: "the sun seems bright today Joe".
Joe: "Absolutely, it is strange though, we're suppose to be facing winter any day now".

Mark: "Indeed, climate change has a lot to answer for hehehe".

Joe: "So what's your position on the whole debacle Mark?"

Mark: "I think it's man-made, we have inhabited this world for thousands of years. Naturally, our responsibility to invest in its sustainability has seriously been lacking".

I could go on forever, hopefully you get my drift. A single statement that leads onto an overall conversation/dialogue is small-talk. It could also be a few small questions.

There really is no required-skill for this task, just the ability to know the content of a particular topic that is raised. The last thing you want is a topic that you're not particularly interested in, or an area that you particularly lack in knowledge or awareness.

Go fourth and prosper with the art of small-talk!

:p:

Reply 3

Pindar

Come on, these are people you've never met before and you don't know anything about them. How about asking where they're from, what they're studying, what socs they are going to join, events you're planning on going to in freshers week. That was just off the top of my head.

Reply 4

Antitype Chi

I don't even try to small talk now: I've offended too many people with my clumsy attempts :frown:

So yeah, if you're crap at it....beware!

Reply 5

chemical_bex

It's all about the weather.
I try asking questions about the other person, then expanding on their answers I guess

Reply 6

The_Timepasser

I'm in the same situation as u. I'm cool with meeting new people its just that I don't know how to go about it...like what stuff to talk if I don't connect with them?

OP can u PM me?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 7

kristinaalovesu

Same here OP. :frown:

When people respond me with one word answers, i do full stop and just shut up looking stupid.

Reply 8

paradox13

Just pretend to be interested

Or else relax..once you relax you'll be fine and act chill.

ANd chill-ness is always cool

Reply 9

Sequin

If youre going to wait to be spoken to, please don't give one word answers. I often try really hard to chat and this annoys me so much. Youre never going to get into conversation if your side is monosyllabic!

Reply 10

joey11223

Sequin

ugh yeah I had a bit of that yesterday, after a while they starting using full sentences though, still not banter level, guess some folks are rather shy with all this new stuff, she did seem pretty shy/quiet to be fair, which is why I initiated a conversation as I try to avoid having people on their own.

Reply 11

goldenGAZE

I'm the same. I've already had my induction day at uni earlier this week and had some really lovely people come up to me but i was unable to maintain a conversation and in the end they all drifted away, probably thought i was bored/didn't want to talk. I'm going to try harder on Monday!

Reply 12

al_habib

am alright , i think my problem is talking/adressing to more than 3 people i feel like i lack confidence , i had a meeting last week at job every 1 was giving brief to the managers about job experience i was bit confused but at the end pretended to be fine, asking few questions.how can you get rid of 'confusionism' sometimes realy annoys

Reply 13

xgeorgia

what subject/s are you taking?
did you have a good weekend?
what you doing this weekend?
do you know many people here?
where did you go to college?
its nice weather today isnt it :wink: