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I really want a baby watch

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    Okay i know what a lot of people are going to say when they read the title but its not as it seems.
    Basically im 16 and my boyfriend of 9 months is 18. We recently started to have sex, we had a pregannacy scare at the start, and i was terrified tht i might be pregnant but the more i thought about it the more i began to realise that i wished i was. there is like this massive maternal instinct that seems to of developed sinc ei met my bf before i wouldnt of dreamed of having a baby until i was late 20's i was always career driven. but know its changed i see a baby and my heart melts, i jsut want one, i want to love it and show it all the affection it could dream of, i want to hold it and put it to bed at night, i want something which connects me and my bf physically. This, i know, is wrong and i wouldnt act upon it for my bf's sake it wouldnt be fair. but i cant get rid of this broody feeling, has anyone else felt like this?
    I think part of it might be the fact i dont come from the most loving family, i have always dreamed of being the mum to my baby that mum hasnt been to me and i want the chance to do.
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    Looks like you have an early biological clock! There isn't much you can do to stop it, just fight it with logic :p: Get a coil or implant (basically a long-term method of contraception that you can't take out) so you can't change your mind
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    You're sixteen and you want a baby?

    Don't, please don't.
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    Build yourself before you build a life.
    For example, learn how to spell.
    But seriously, don't have a kid so early, it is a VERY bad idea.
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    I think its normal, when you first start a serious relationship, to think like this, and completely change your mindset from being career driven to wanting to settle down and start a family. But just think, you changed your mind really easily and quickly - it can always change back but once you have a baby you can't take it back if you change your mind. You're 16. You have so much time for that and I'm sure in a few years time you will want to concentrate on your career again.

    A lot of young girls develop really strong maternal instincts at one time or another, but please don't act on it - you have the rest of your life to do that and, like you said, it isn't fair on your boyfriend.
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    A good mother cares about her child more than herself. If you want to show your baby you love them, wait till you and your boyfriend are living together and old enough to support yourselves and the baby. :hugs:
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    (Original post by evilbethan)
    Build yourself before you build a life.
    For example, learn how to spell.
    But seriously, don't have a kid so early, it is a VERY bad idea.
    sorry about spelling, not really with it atm, i can spell i got a A in english :L
    and i know im not going to, i want it to have a good upbringing, one where it has stability and financial security, cant help the way i feel though
    • #2
    #2

    I can understand how you feel. The idea that you are emotionally ready to take the responsibility and want to love someone so much and have someone that looks up to you and depends on you. These kind of feelings usually come about when you do not have the love and affection from your family as you have mentioned. I have often felt the same way and my situation is different because I have never had a boyfriend or a loving family. So for me this is a way for me to conquer the attachment and lack of affection issues that I have. Everytime I would see a family with young chldren, I used to be envious of the mother and wish I was in the same position. But I ama ware that I cannot provide for a family right now.I am 18. I do not have a job or a house of my own.I still want these things but I understand that I need to be in a more stable position before I bring up a child. So focus on other things like your career and when the time is right it will happen naturally.
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    (Original post by StrawberryKoi)
    A good mother cares about her child more than herself. If you want to show your baby you love them, wait till you and your boyfriend are living together and old enough to support yourselves and the baby. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ilies/hugs.gif
    I know I want it to have the best quality of life it could possibly have and i know by having it so young it would be a selfish act. I would love it so much but i know it would put a end to my future in many ways i jsut wish i dint feel like this, its a dangerous feeling :L x
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    Aww, that's sweet!

    But seriously, wait until you are in a better, more financially sound and stable position to look after a baby.

    There are many other things you need to consider.
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    Before you have a baby there are a lot of things to think over.
    Non of my friends who have children regrets it, but they do wish they had done more before going ahead. A baby really complicates things, and you have to give up on a lot of the things you dreamed about. Once you have one you can't get rid of it... Also, having money and support is something one should figure out before getting pregnant.

    But young girls can be good mothers too, and dont let anyone convince you otherwise. You're not 'doomed' to fail...
    • #3
    #3

    I am in exactly the same situation. I'm sixteen, doing my A Level's and am desperate to have my own baby. It's such a strong feeling and I am clever enough to know that having a baby now would put me in all kinds of trouble. I don't have the money, accomodation and my education would most probably suffer. I really want to go to uni, get a good job bla bla bla but now this kind of maternal instinct just throws all these dreams down. I love children anyway and to be honest I wanted a baby from when I was like twelve or thirteen, I never confronted it until I was about fifteen. I know that I won't allow myself to get pregnant but it just feels like I am the only sixteen year old who feels this way... I'm glad I found this post because now I know that I am not the only person who feels like this. To give advice, I'd just say think now before you have a baby. If you want to love this baby and be the best mum ever for it, don't you think it would be better to be in a good financial situation, with your own accomodation and a partner who feels that he wants a baby as well? Why don't you finish your full education and then get a job, flat etc, then maybe think about it. I tell myself this and I hope it helps you, just know that you're not the only sixteen year old feeling like this. I reckon the vast majority of women our age feel like this, not all but most. Unfortunately though men don't have this tugging instinct that never ever goes away, so they won't be able to relate or advise you as they have not been in this situation. Just think what would be better for your baby.
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    what is wrong with you?

    No offense but I hate people that think Oh I want a baby it will be easy me and my boyfriend are in love etc.

    It will not be easy just because you are with an 18yo guy now it is possible he will **** off and leave you with a crying brat.

    I would have much more respect for you if you;
    had a good education (not just ******* GCSEs)
    had a respectable job and earned decent money
    your boyfriend was in the same position as you
    You and your boyfriend were married
    you had your own home
    You didn't scrounge off the government.
    You're emotionally stable and mature.

    When you have all this proceed to have a baby.
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    i want a baby!! a lot of women do, and i also adore them but i know how hard it is and you need to make sure you actually want one and not that you've just started noticing them in a maternal way. i'd also see what the bf thinks cos 9 months aint that long!! if you really want one don't rush, think and take your time
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    A child wants to have a kid :facepalm: :stupid:
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    I can relate to the reason why you want it; I never really had a proper dad it's made me want one of my own. I'm a guy, too. (This is why I'm anonymous :P

    Try working with children. I have two different jobs with children and also volunteer with special needs kids. I have the most fun with them. Dunno if it really helps though 'cos everytime I see them enjoying themselves or they laugh at something I do it makes me want one more :P:

    I'm not a normal 17 year old guy, I know!
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    If u want to look after your baby properly then ide say wait. You can't really do anything to stop these feelings though :|
    Does your bf know about this btw?
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    Hopefully the mother in you can realise that you don't have the setup to deal with a child at this point in your life. Wait until you have careers, money, a home etc.
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    Go for it love, dont listen to this lot, just think you could be a grandma by 32! live off of our taxes with a free house, benefits, etc, go for it!
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    (Original post by bufferz)
    Go for it love, dont listen to this lot, just think you could be a grandma by 32! live off of our taxes with a free house, benefits, etc, go for it!
    i hope that is sarcasm
 
 
 
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