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Girls what if your new bf said he didnt want sex but a relationship based on emotion Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not all relationships are based on sex I think that it is sad that people cant have feelings for each other without sex, you guys talk about it like you are dogs.
    No, we talk about it like we are humans. Humans have sex for love, affection, procreation, sometimes for fun, etc...

    A relationship without sex may as well just be a friendship - unless of course there are religious reasons involved, but there arent any here.

    I fail to see how you can know your partner properly without having sex with them i.e seeing them in their most initmate and vulnerable state.
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    Depending on the age, he might not be ready for sex or he might be a "No sex until marriage" kind of guy.
    Dumping him just because he doesn't want sex at that point in time might make it appear to both him and others that you're only in it for the sex. Sex can be a wonderful extra to a relationship, but it is not the most important part of the relationship.
    Also, if you have sex right at the start of a relationship you may regret it if the relationship fails soon after.
    IMO, sex is not a "Give it to one person and stay with them for life" sort of thing, but it's also not a "Every guy I go out with will have sex with me" thing. I'd want to have it later in the relationship and get to know the person more before having sex with them.

    I reserve rights to change my opinion.
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    #1

    I dont mean sex free for the entire duration but only for a couple of months while you got to know each other
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    Small penis? Either way she'd getting banged by someone else. Hopeefully by me.
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    its good he wants to establish the relationship on more than a physical level, but for me the physical intimacy of sex is also important, helps to connect you on another level
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    *shrug* suits me fine. As long as it was "wait" and not "no sex ever"
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont mean sex free for the entire duration but only for a couple of months while you got to know each other
    I would be fine with that tbh.

    Better than some guy rushing you into bed isn't it
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    Fair play to the guy. Sometimes if you have sex too soon the relationship does become based on sex and it might take longer for stronger emotions to develop. If he wants to wait for the love to come first then fair play to him. I'd respect that. Sounds like a good thing to me...
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    Personally, I'd be happy with it, I'd welcome it imo. If anything changed we could talk about it. I suppose I might feel a little insecure though, ie. I might wonder if it was just me.
    I know that a friend of mine really wants sex with her bf though, though he's not too keen on it right now. It makes her slightly insecure and she might break up with him soon.
    Go for it. It sounds great to me. Sex isn't the be all and end all., and besides, she'll probably know there's a lot of leeway without actual sex, if that's what it came down to for her. xD
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    (Original post by Lizia)
    I'd dump him on the spot. Sex is important in a relationship. "Experiencing love as a pure emotion" is a load of crap. I'd rather be dating someone who could love me and shag me. People always say that focusing on sex is shallow, but I don't see why sex is any less important to a relationship than any other factor.

    EDIT: Now that you've clarified, I'd consider staying with him. But to me, more than two months is too long to wait.
    Mostly because physical intimacy has a tendancy to cloud your judgement of compatability in all the other aspects: Personality/Day to Day life.

    Chances are you won't really be having sex with your final partner when your 60-70+ if the statistics are anything to go by. It's essentially the same as the question: personality or looks.
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    Sex is part of 'getting to know each other'.
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    WTF duz da title mean. real talk op ur butters!
    http://grocerytrader.co.uk/wp-conten...l-packshot.jpg
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    I want sex AND a relationship based on an emotion. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

    I wouldn't mind waiting a bit and respect her decision, so long as I didn't end up too sexually frustrated. It's part of a fun caring relationship in my opinion.
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    damn, this reminds me of me. first week of uni this week and i reject having a friend with benefits down my hallway because i wanted something more meaningful.

    i'd say he's completely retarded, like me.
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    No way. This is untrue for anyone with a sex drive. It's not cynical, it's just natrual. Maybe he's frigid or just values his virginity a lot, although alarm bells would be going off in my mind for him being gay so I don't blame you for being concerned. Why don't you just explain to him how you feel.
    Oh and read On Chesil Beach - worst.book.eveer but it does show another possible angle to take on the situation other than he's a big gay man-luvin' homosexual.
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    (Original post by Lizia)
    Not if you're able to be mature about it. I can honestly say I've never stuck around in a relationship with a horrible or incompatible person just because the sex was good. Most people can determine whether the person they're with is compatible with them, even if they're having sex with them.
    Can't tell whether there was a mistake.
    That's the whole point I'm trying to make: Why would you want to be in a rubbish relationship?

    It's not really much a relationship is it, if it's purely based off sex. That's just a sex-buddy.

    Edit: It's more that the need for physical intimacy which is inclusive of hugging, sex, kissing and all that tends to enhance a relationship in the sense that people are more willing to put up with a relationship that doesn't quite fufill their emotional needs but is 'good' enough. They'll put with the minor incompatibilities.

    There's a biological factor in play when people start engaging in physical touch. It influences how we see the other person.

    No, it's nothing like the same question. Most people in their 60s or 70s stop having sex by mutual consent because they just don't want to do it anymore, or can't. That's in no way the same as a young adult saying they want to not have sex with their partner because they want 'to experience love as a pure emotion'. One is simple biology meaning a complete lack of interest in the sexual side of things, the other is depriving yourself of your desires for the sake of pseudo-philosophy.
    So... What is it about these people that want them to stop having sex with their partners at that age? That the biological urge to have sex has diminished?

    It's essentially the same concept as the "Looks vs Personality" - One is more likely to fade than the other in the long run. Hence most people usually go 50:50 on the Looks/Personality or 30:70 whatever ratios... The only time it'll be the reverse (more importance on look than personality) is when they are just looking for a sex partner rather than than a relationship specifically.

    I realise there are people who view sex as extremely important in their relationship, but I doubt there are any who will say it's more important than personality compatibility and all that.

    It all comes down to this: Which is more harmful to you? Physically cheating or emotionally cheating? Are they equal?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Say just after your started going out with him. Like based on love and emotion but no sex.
    Ideally, its a good thing, I suppose... However, do we really live in an ideal world?...

    How old is he?.....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Say just after your started going out with him. Like based on love and emotion but no sex.
    He'd get dumped pretty quick.
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    This is what i call reverse psychology. I should try it some time.
    Seems to be getting the OP thinking :rolleyes:
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    PS Helper
    I think he is probably either really nice or trying to get into your pants, or just really wants to be your friend but the only way he knows how is be your boyfriend
 
 
 
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