I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, and love him to bits most of the time. But we argue a lot, more than I ever have with exes, and it really puts a strain on things.
The big argument at the moment is his smoking - he promised he would quit after uni because he knows I really really hate it and it's obviously bad for him, but then on holiday he decided to break yet another promise and not quit afterall, after 3 months of not doing it, which led to a big argument in which he was quite nasty - one thing he likes to say is 'if this is you trying then God help us'. Anyway, I understand that it is hard to quit and I've tried to be supportive, we agreed that he'd only do it when he went on nights out, but now he's doing it more and more of the time. But this isn't about his smoking.
Most of the time he doesn't get angry, those big fights are only once a month or so, but in between we argue about silly things and I feel stupid and like I can't do anything right a lot of the time. Most of the time lately he either does that or is too wrapped up in his music that I barely get any attention.
I realise I haven't painted the best picture of him, he is a good person and loves cuddles, treats me well usually and does love me. He is very sweet sometimes, it's just that we have a very love-hate relationship.
These times when he isn't at his best have led me to look for someone else to talk to, and I have been talking to my ex a lot lately. We've stayed friends the whole time, which my boyfriend has no problem with, and now would like to see each other again as friends. But I can't help feeling this is wrong, even though obviously nothing would happen.
I know I should just stop speaking to my ex, but at the same time I appreciate his friendship.
Sorry for the essay, just really confused at the moment.
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Last edited by LemonKitty; 11-10-2010 at 19:45.
- 25-09-2010 15:32
- 25-09-2010 15:38
Stop talking to the ex.
If you're practically engaged to him don't think about other men, and accept him for what he is. Smoker or not, you chose him in the first place.Last edited by Casshern1456; 25-09-2010 at 15:44.
- 25-09-2010 15:39
ah the year and a half milestone always brings up these issues *sigh*
I don't really know what to tell you, except that you shouldn't even think of your ex until you finish things off with your boyfriend aka quit talking to the ex. Don't expect your boyfriend to change, really, unless he wants to change. He doesn't sound like he wants to though.
(Original post by LemonKitty)
- 25-09-2010 16:00
Things are getting better slowly. Lately when we argue we'll apologise afterwards quite quickly. He wants to be a teacher too so he needs to sort out his anger, it's not just me it'll effect.
I know I should stop talking to my ex, but would like to try to go back to just being friends. Do you think that's possible?
Unless you don't actually love your bf that much and much rather take that risk.