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How to help someone build self-esteem? watch

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    It's pretty self-explanatory but how do I help someone feel better about themselves, friendly compliments don't quite cut it for her, and I want to help her, any tips would be nice
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    (Original post by hazelsaurus)
    It's pretty self-explanatory but how do I help someone feel better about themselves, friendly compliments don't quite cut it for her, and I want to help her, any tips would be nice
    You can't build up a persons self esteem. They must do that on their own.
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    Introduce her to this - http://operationbeautiful.com/
    It's fabulous for building up esteem.
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    (Original post by Joel4fun4u)
    You can't build up a persons self esteem. They must do that on their own.
    How do I help her feel good about herself then?
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    Socializing helps. Mixing with people that make her feel good and also doing stuff that she is good at!
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Introduce her to this - http://operationbeautiful.com/
    It's fabulous for building up esteem.
    That looks really useful ;D,
    thanks
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    (Original post by hazelsaurus)
    That looks really useful ;D,
    thanks
    It is, it does as much for the person writing the post-its as the people who find them. Try it!
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    (Original post by hazelsaurus)
    How do I help her feel good about herself then?
    You can't. Not properly anyway. That needs to be done on her own.
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    Introduce her to this - http://operationbeautiful.com/
    It's fabulous for building up esteem.
    I'd just like to say, wow, what an inspirational website!
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    (Original post by LadyJazzles)
    I'd just like to say, wow, what an inspirational website!
    It is amazing. Really worth getting in to. There is no better feeling than placing a beautiful note in a toilet, or a diet-book.
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    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    It is amazing. Really worth getting in to. There is no better feeling than placing a beautiful note in a toilet, or a diet-book.
    Sometimes at Tube stations in London... I see posters for Plastic Surgery.. or diet pills.. etc.. And people actually stick post-its and stuff on these posters saying "Sexist"


    Everyone is beautiful in their own way. People need to believe in it more!
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    (Original post by LadyJazzles)
    Sometimes at Tube stations in London... I see posters for Plastic Surgery.. or diet pills.. etc.. And people actually stick post-its and stuff on these posters saying "Sexist"


    Everyone is beautiful in their own way. People need to believe in it more!
    Wow that's so lovely.

    My favourite quote-thingies to put on little notes are:

    'Happiest girls are the prettiest' - Audrey Hepburn."

    "The mirror does not define you. Beauty is not a size. Intelligence is not a number."
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    (Original post by Joel4fun4u)
    You can't. Not properly anyway. That needs to be done on her own.
    I disagree.

    A girl I only met a few months ago has been brilliant for helping my self-esteem, which still isn't good yet but I appreciate her help so much. OP, I think it's lovely that you're trying to help this girl.

    The best thing that girl has done for me was just asking me very honest questions- she doesn't waste time with small talk- she asks me things others are too scared to- why I am the way I am, do I have friends etc.

    You could try and visit her often, or invite her to places but really the easiest way to help is to just talk to her- try to get to know her better- no matter how well you know her now, there's probably still more to learn.

    I don't really know what else to suggest without knowing more about the situation- are you friends/relatives? Is it something in particular that's causing her self-esteem to be low?
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    You have to try and work out the root problems causing the low self-esteem and try and combat them as best as you can. You also need to accept that the possibilities of being ignored, unappreciated and even lashed out at and hope that the person in question will be open/receptive to your help. That's what I've learned from trying to build someone's self-esteem. I was quite lucky in that even though she probs doesn't believe anything I say or pays much attention to it, she's at least trusting enough to let me see her in a vulnerable state and let me address her problems, though
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    like some people have said, for one, try finding out why she's like that and sorting it out
    orrrrr
    you could try setting her up with some people, that'd make her feel attractive
    hmm, or even do some sort of how to look good naked- style thing where you ask strangers what they think of her? but then, i think, if your self esteem's that low, you won't believe them
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    (Original post by AmiiRainbow)
    like some people have said, for one, try finding out why she's like that and sorting it out
    orrrrr
    you could try setting her up with some people, that'd make her feel attractive
    hmm, or even do some sort of how to look good naked- style thing where you ask strangers what they think of her? but then, i think, if your self esteem's that low, you won't believe them

    She just got out of a really abusive relationship :/
    She's got no confidence in her looks/abilities or anything, I tried complimenting and trying to prove her worth, it's really not working :|
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    (Original post by hazelsaurus)
    She just got out of a really abusive relationship :/
    She's got no confidence in her looks/abilities or anything, I tried complimenting and trying to prove her worth, it's really not working :|
    oh gosh, the poor girl
    i find that when people i know say nice things to me, they don't really achieve anything - you see it as a 'ehhh, they're just being nice' kinda thing, likewise, when people say 'you will find someone better', it's not the sort of thing you want to hear. you want to hear things that actually will help.
    what about finding out what she's most insecure about?
    if she feels fat, go to the gym or excersise with her somewhere
    if she hates the way she looks facially/ with regards to her hair, then go get her a makeover somewhere- pamper her.
    i think the fact alone that you're asking how to make her feel good about herself proves how good of a friend you are. i'd be incredibly grateful to have a friend like you
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    (Original post by hazelsaurus)
    She just got out of a really abusive relationship :/
    She's got no confidence in her looks/abilities or anything, I tried complimenting and trying to prove her worth, it's really not working :|
    Something I've found with my aforementioned experience of dealing with someone with incredibly low self-esteem is that they seem slightly more responsive to empirical proof. It's one thing if you say to someone, "you're beautiful" etc but if you can have some concrete evidence for it and show it to them, they're marginally more inclined to take note of it.

    Persistence is important, if you really wanna make a difference
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    (Original post by AmiiRainbow)
    oh gosh, the poor girl
    i find that when people i know say nice things to me, they don't really achieve anything - you see it as a 'ehhh, they're just being nice' kinda thing, likewise, when people say 'you will find someone better', it's not the sort of thing you want to hear. you want to hear things that actually will help.
    what about finding out what she's most insecure about?
    if she feels fat, go to the gym or excersise with her somewhere
    if she hates the way she looks facially/ with regards to her hair, then go get her a makeover somewhere- pamper her.
    i think the fact alone that you're asking how to make her feel good about herself proves how good of a friend you are. i'd be incredibly grateful to have a friend like you
    N'awh thanks personally I wouldn't feel like much of a friend if I didn't help her.

    And thanks that's a really good idea, I really appreciate it I guess being more productive at helping her insecurities is more effective than just compliments (Y) Thanks
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Something I've found with my aforementioned experience of dealing with someone with incredibly low self-esteem is that they seem slightly more responsive to empirical proof. It's one thing if you say to someone, "you're beautiful" etc but if you can have some concrete evidence for it and show it to them, they're marginally more inclined to take note of it.
    YES. being someone with incredibly low self-esteem, i could not agree with your advice more! :p:
 
 
 
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