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    Hi, I'm a 23 year old guy and I have a terrible problem. Basically, there is this girl a few years older than me (26) who is married to a work friend of mine and as soon as I met her I thought she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and when I talked to her she had the most incredible personality. I felt she was the perfect woman and I loved her almost straight away. She is married and has a baby and her husband is a great guy so I didn't even try to 'put moves on her' and never would. But I just feel that if I had known her a few years earlier we would be together. To put things in perspective a bit: I am a good looking guy and good with girls (not trying to be arrogant, just truthful), so it's not like I can't get other girls and i'm not usually the type to fall head over heels in love (I have never told a girl I love them until at least 6 months dating before). It's just this woman seems perfect. No girls can compare and I think about her non-stop. It's not just physical, we just connect on such a deep level and she is just so great to be around. I can think about nothing else. I try to distract myslef, but all other girls seem like nothing in comparison. I would give everythinh just to be with her for a minute. I actually eneded my last relationship because I told the girl I was in love with someone else and although I liked the girl I was going out with, I didn't feel I could ever love her as much (I did this because I felt it was selfish to not tell her).

    I have decided I will never act on my feelings as it goes against my moral code, but I don't know how to get over this hurt. I see the girl every day at work and my heart aches. I can't avoid her and I can't stop loving her. I have never loved a girl so much and have never hurt so badly. My life is being destroyed by this obsession. I just want it to end.

    Sorry for the long messy post, i'm crying as I type and I need help badly. Thank you.
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    Good on you for not stringing your ex along, but I don't think thats a healthy way to continue. You're only digging a whole if you keep obsessing over this idea, instead of meeting other women (where there's plenty who you will also find attractive and like personality wise).
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    Simple response:
    She is committed to someone else and has a family - Leave off and let them have their lives... Get over it, you can't do anything.
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    Yeah meeting other girls - quick solution. And to correct you - shes really not the most beautiful woman so stop idealizing.
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    Had a more minor version of the problem you did.

    It just gets better with time. Try and not think of her, as hard as that is. Sever all contact with her and get on with your daily routine.

    I can't tell you a way to get over her 100%. About a year on, I'm 95% over this girl, but writing about her now brings the feeling back, I have a weird feeling in my stomach and I think about the times we've had and could've had.

    I fear it will keep being like this until I meet someone else and get over her.
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    Start an affair with her,arrange for the father to disapere and adopt the kid.
    Enjoy btw.
    • #1
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    #1

    I have tried to date other girls but I just can't get over her. I like the others a lot, but they are not her.

    I have to see her every day at work. I keep trying to see other girls but nothing take my mind off her. I just want to forget her as I know nothing will ever happen. Please help me.
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    Tried pole vault?
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    The forbiden fruit is the most delicious. But seriously if you're making an effort by seeing other girls then it's all you can and should do. After some time it will go away or when you meet a girl that will make you forget the other one.
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    (Original post by lukasvalio)
    The forbiden fruit is the most delicious. But seriously if you're making an effort by seeing other girls then it's all you can and should do. After some time it will go away or when you meet a girl that will make you forget the other one.
    Really? I just can't imagine anyone some wonderful. Thanks for the kind words mate.
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    *so
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    Got to admit I'm pretty impressed by the fact that you're not being a total idiot and trying to chase after her or anything. There's a lot of other people who wouldn't (and don't) do the same. So you definitely deserve some credit for that. And as for getting over her, I'm going to be really unhelpful and say it will hopefully pass, given time (but I don't think you're expecting that to happen in a matter of days). Eventually you'll be able to get over her and then it'll all be ok again. Hope you feel better about it soon.
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    Stop seeing her, eventually you will forget. There are a lot of girls in the world bro
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I'm a 23 year old guy and I have a terrible problem. Basically, there is this girl a few years older than me (26) who is married to a work friend of mine and as soon as I met her I thought she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and when I talked to her she had the most incredible personality. I felt she was the perfect woman and I loved her almost straight away. She is married and has a baby and her husband is a great guy so I didn't even try to 'put moves on her' and never would. But I just feel that if I had known her a few years earlier we would be together. To put things in perspective a bit: I am a good looking guy and good with girls (not trying to be arrogant, just truthful), so it's not like I can't get other girls and i'm not usually the type to fall head over heels in love (I have never told a girl I love them until at least 6 months dating before). It's just this woman seems perfect. No girls can compare and I think about her non-stop. It's not just physical, we just connect on such a deep level and she is just so great to be around. I can think about nothing else. I try to distract myslef, but all other girls seem like nothing in comparison. I would give everythinh just to be with her for a minute. I actually eneded my last relationship because I told the girl I was in love with someone else and although I liked the girl I was going out with, I didn't feel I could ever love her as much (I did this because I felt it was selfish to not tell her).

    I have decided I will never act on my feelings as it goes against my moral code, but I don't know how to get over this hurt. I see the girl every day at work and my heart aches. I can't avoid her and I can't stop loving her. I have never loved a girl so much and have never hurt so badly. My life is being destroyed by this obsession. I just want it to end.

    Sorry for the long messy post, i'm crying as I type and I need help badly. Thank you.
    i think that for now, u should let ur heart and ur head droll over her. that's the way it is sometimes. because u have to see her everyday and u like her too much so u wont be able to actually forget her, for now.
    and then u'll realise u can't cope with it and move on for good.
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    Youre a man, not a woman. Work out this sh+t with your head. Go home jerk off and thats all you gona do.

    If you were 100% happy with such a girl and a guy in your position steals your girl, you wont like it would you?

    So beat it! Get another girl, there are plenty out there that are identical, you just gotta win them with money and your sex abilities.
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    Try to take your mind of it all. Carry out a straneous hobby? Or just one which requires all of your focus. A hobby which allows you to meet other people would be good.

    Humans are fickle.
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    haha! that's so sweet.

    This is a serious case of wanting what you cant have. All you can do is move on, honestly what else can you do? you wouldnt break up a happy home would do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I'm a 23 year old guy and I have a terrible problem. Basically, there is this girl a few years older than me (26) who is married to a work friend of mine and as soon as I met her I thought she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and when I talked to her she had the most incredible personality. I felt she was the perfect woman and I loved her almost straight away. She is married and has a baby and her husband is a great guy so I didn't even try to 'put moves on her' and never would. But I just feel that if I had known her a few years earlier we would be together. To put things in perspective a bit: I am a good looking guy and good with girls (not trying to be arrogant, just truthful), so it's not like I can't get other girls and i'm not usually the type to fall head over heels in love (I have never told a girl I love them until at least 6 months dating before). It's just this woman seems perfect. No girls can compare and I think about her non-stop. It's not just physical, we just connect on such a deep level and she is just so great to be around. I can think about nothing else. I try to distract myslef, but all other girls seem like nothing in comparison. I would give everythinh just to be with her for a minute. I actually eneded my last relationship because I told the girl I was in love with someone else and although I liked the girl I was going out with, I didn't feel I could ever love her as much (I did this because I felt it was selfish to not tell her).

    I have decided I will never act on my feelings as it goes against my moral code, but I don't know how to get over this hurt. I see the girl every day at work and my heart aches. I can't avoid her and I can't stop loving her. I have never loved a girl so much and have never hurt so badly. My life is being destroyed by this obsession. I just want it to end.

    Sorry for the long messy post, i'm crying as I type and I need help badly. Thank you.
    common mennnn...seriously?.....I think you have too much time on your hands....go to the gym or do something.......
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    It sounds like a 'want what you can't have syndrome' tbh

    Its a good thing you've not acted on those feelings, because she has a child and a husband whom she loves, so yeah a family of her own. And you have no idea whether she feels as passionate for you.

    At this point i wouldnt trust your feelings, because although you get on so well with her, you've never been in a relationship with her to know how you feel then. With that 'syndrome' you will only get more frustrated because you know you cant have her.

    If it is the first time you've felt like this, then yeah it will take a while to get over it, you may want to distant yourself to make it easier. You've just not come accross a (single)girl who you like as much.... there is 'the one'. so you'll find someone you like eventually
    • #1
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    Some people seem to be responding without even reading my op.

    I will this again: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I ACT ON THIS FEELINGS. Even if she felt the same (which she doesn't) I would not act on my feelings and break up and marriage and a family.

    I do have 'a life' and plenty of hobbies. I have had many girlfriends and serious relationshios, but this is different. I just can't stop thinking about her.
 
 
 
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