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I Can't Get Through To My Parents... :( watch

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    I'm currently applying to University for 2011 entry and I don't think I could be any more excited (or nervous this close to the deadline). However, whenever I try to talk to my parents about where I want to go, it ends in a fight.

    It's not that they don't want me to go to University, in actual fact I think they're more likely to disown me if I chose not to go to University. I'm applying to Cambridge and UCL (neither of which they have the biggest problem with) but when I try to discuss my 3rd or 4th choice with them they want me to apply to Hull or York (as they're close to where I live). I have an older sister who is studying at Hull and she still lives at home, but it's just not what I want to do and my parents are well aware of this. I try not to be too horrible about it, but at 17 years of age pretty much the only thing on my mind is getting as far away from home as humanly possible.

    I understand that it's not financially possible for them to support me throughout my University education- and neither are we in the situation that I would get government grants etc to help to pay for it. Despite this, there must be thousands of students out there who manage on student loans and overdrafts and part-time jobs. How do I get my parents (my Mum especially as my Dad seems to grasp the idea that I want some independance) to understand that 3rd and 4th choices like Cardiff, Glasgow and Bristol are achievable without it turning into yet another fight??


    Please let me know if you were/are in a similar situation with your parent/s and how you've managed to overcome it (if you have :])

    ANY help you can give me will be massively appreciated, because I can't go on fighting with them like this- as it will just ruin the year I have left at home with them

    Thanks
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    I'm in a similar situation, my parents dont want me to go to a uni outside london, yet i am, because i dont want to live at home..

    i'm just lying, saying they uni's for my course in london are craap, and low down the leagues lol
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    hmm... im kinda in the same position but my mum has never interfered with anything related to my education because I forbid her to when I was like 14...
    all my choices are far away from home, she knows it and doesnt say anything about it.

    probably if u dont tell them, it's fine. I mean they're not going to fill the UCAS application with u, are they? plus, u might get a place at UCL or Cambridge. I know it's not much help but sometimes u have to stand ur ground with parents..

    good luck
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    Apply to where you want to go and don't tell them till after you've done it. Or lie and say you applied to where they wanted you to go, and don't mention it unless you decide to go to Bristol/Cardiff/Glasgow. They're not going to know.

    I won't be applying till next year but already I'm getting into fights with my parents over it. I told them when I was about 8 that I wanted to go to Newcastle (have lots of family there) but now that I'm older and know more about the whole university process, I've completely discarded that idea. They aren't happy.
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    My mam was consistent in trying to get me to go to York St John's uni. It had my course so i gave it a look at first, along with about 15 other unis doing my course. And they kept on going on about York St Johns and how York St Johns was the one for me. Then i chose my top 5 and York St Johns didn't make it to that list because it was a very theory based course and i want something practical. They hit the roof about it and still to this day go on about York St Johns, giving me updates on what York St Johns are doing, as if i'm about to up and leave for there.

    The reason SHE liked it was because she thinks York is a nice place and it wasn't far from home, apparently the fact that the course wasn't for me didn't play any sort of role in whether i should've gone or not. Instead the uni i chose is near london which she thinks I did just to spite her. I guess she'll never understand that it was the course that was important, not location.

    Actually, location was important to a certain extent, but for me it was important to move away. Had i gone to York st johns i would've had visits every other weekend and been expected to go home every other weekend too (shes already stalking my tweets and dailybooth pictures, i've discovered.). Maybe soon she'll stop being so clingy?
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    Just try to stay calm when you talk to them. Try talking to your parents individually. Your mum's main concern is probably that she doesn't want you to 'flee the nest' - parents can get very overprotective and upset when their kids move out. Tell her you will come to visit and you want to move away for you, and that you will miss her but it will make you grow and mature as a person, in ways that you won't experience by living at home. She might find it hard to understand that you would want to move away, when you can have everything at home, especially as your older sister chose to stay. But you're a different person and want different things - your mum should understand this.

    As your dad is more understanding maybe you could tell him a similar thing, and try and get him to explain your point of view to your mum.

    Hopefully, if you handle the situation in a mature manner, and show them this, then they will understand that you aren't their 'little girl' anymore and they can't mollycoddle you forever. Moving away gives you the best life experience you could imagine, and is definitely worth it. At the end of the day it's your choice, and your parents can't stop you (but you might want to leave this part out! It's just there for you - they can't force you to do anything but obviously it would be nice to move away with their support and approval!)

    Sorry for the essay! Hope it helps
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    I'll be applying next year, and am sure I'll put down St. Andrews (I live in London). My mum was against it at first, but try explaining that in the end, you have to live there for 3 or more years and it'll be best for your education/life. There's not really much that they can say to that.

    Best of luck
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    (Original post by AndrewFromTheNorth)
    My mam was consistent in trying to get me to go to York St John's uni. It had my course so i gave it a look at first, along with about 15 other unis doing my course. And they kept on going on about York St Johns and how York St Johns was the one for me. Then i chose my top 5 and York St Johns didn't make it to that list because it was a very theory based course and i want something practical. They hit the roof about it and still to this day go on about York St Johns, giving me updates on what York St Johns are doing, as if i'm about to up and leave for there.

    The reason SHE liked it was because she thinks York is a nice place and it wasn't far from home, apparently the fact that the course wasn't for me didn't play any sort of role in whether i should've gone or not. Instead the uni i chose is near london which she thinks I did just to spite her. I guess she'll never understand that it was the course that was important, not location.

    Actually, location was important, but for me it was important to move away. Had i gone to York st johns i would've had visits every weekend and been expected to go home every weekend too (shes already stalking my tweets and dailybooth pictures, i've discovered.). Maybe soon she'll stop being so clingy?
    Good god, how do you put up with that!? No offence but parents like that annoy me. She should support your decisions and, if anything, I think parents should encourage their children to move away as it gives you the best life experience you could imagine. Don't get angry with her though, I guess parents are always too protective! and once you're there, having the time of your life and enjoying your course, I'm sure she will be swayed!
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    If you've got your own car or can get a lift from someone else, then **** them - apply where you want and go.
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    Your parents need to understand that it is your future, it can only be your decision where you want to go.
    You can't stay at or near home your entire life, and if moving away will make you happy, this should be enough for them.
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    Just a quick thanks to everyone who's posted so far!! It's all pretty much what I expected, but I think if somebody else tells you it just makes it a little more realistic and rational as a response.

    So again, MASSIVE THANKS and I hope this works

    XX
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    Sme thing happend to me, wanted to go london. But parents wanted me to live at home. from birmingham, now I'm at warwick, but still commute

    freedom is still far off. In your situation, try talk and just make your ucas choices firm and insurance theres not much they can do.
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    pm me if anyone needs any help
 
 
 
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