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I'm in love with a girl, I don't really want to be! ;o watch

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    Right, basically.

    I've been friends with a girl I met around 10 months ago via a mutual friend.

    We got along almost straight away, as the month's progressed, our friendship grew, we used to talk on msn 'til the early hours in the morning, sharing problems, and just generally having a laugh.
    Throughout the summer, she went on holiday so there was a point where we hadn't talked for a few months, but again. Once we got back on, we used to talk for ages during the summer, 'til around 4-5AM.

    I have feelings for her, but I don't want to sabotage the friendship I have tried so hard to maintain/build.

    She's a religious muslim (wears the headscarf). I'm also a muslim, but not very religious.

    The only problem I have is, I don't want to shame her by asking her for more than friendship. Because, I feel that our friendship will become irreparable and that's the last thing I want.
    I want to spend a long time with this girl, maybe for the rest of my life.
    But, again. I don't know how to ask her this.

    Thanks TSR, hope you can help me.
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    ohhh I can help, cos i'm a Muslim too ermm how do you know she's religious?? Headscarf is just a material so like what else do you know about her? Does she pray five times a day?
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    (Original post by Sine)
    ohhh I can help, cos i'm a Muslim too ermm how do you know she's religious?? Headscarf is just a material so like what else do you know about her? Does she pray five times a day?
    Well, she says she's quite religious, doesn't agree w/ things like sex before marriage etc.
    She tries to pray 5 times a day, her general personality gives me the perception that she is religious, I try to talk to her maturely, and don't say anything 'sexual' so to speak; I know for sure that she's not the type who wears the headscarf, and does 'bad things'. Thanks for replying.
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    (Original post by bumppp.786)
    Well, she says she's quite religious, doesn't agree w/ things like sex before marriage etc.
    She tries to pray 5 times a day, her general personality gives me the perception that she is religious, I try to talk to her maturely, and don't say anything 'sexual' so to speak; I know for sure that she's not the type who wears the headscarf, and does 'bad things'. Thanks for replying.
    Hmmm, what about you?? What are your views on sex before marriage and doing other sexual things like kissing?
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    Ask her hand for marriage... .
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    (Original post by Sine)
    Hmmm, what about you?? What are your views on sex before marriage and doing other sexual things like kissing?

    I disagree with it, personally. But I'd just agree with her, if she asked me.

    ='/
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    (Original post by bumppp.786)
    I disagree with it, personally. But I'd just agree with her, if she asked me.

    ='/
    lool how old are you?? sorry for all the questions..
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    (Original post by Sine)
    lool how old are you?? sorry for all the questions..
    We're both 16.
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    (Original post by bumppp.786)
    We're both 16.

    good luck
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    (Original post by bumppp.786)
    We're both 16.
    Ermm just tell her...she might feel the same way ?
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    bang dat
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    Just tell her you want to put your P in her V and B your L all over her T's.
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    Mmm...BLT...I really want a sandwich now
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    Premarital sex is the best.
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    I think if she's quite serious with studying and building a career or something she won't be very interested in a girlfriend-boyfriend type relationship, since one it means she has to be committed to you for years to come without really being in a relationship, two it might make your friendship awkward and also it might be frustrating for you since I doubt she'll want to do the 'lets go on a date and hold hands' thing.
    If you're really really serious about this I'd just stay friends for now, see what her family is like since most people (I'm taking a wild guess here and thinking you're asian, sorry if its me being a complete douche) wont give their daughters hand in marriage if they dont see the guy has a stable job and source of income, which I doubt you have at 16.
    Maybe you could hint at the fact that you like her but keep it casual, there might be along time till marriage and your feeling might change. Stay in your weird 'were friends but like each other' relationship and if its are meant to be when the time comes it will all sort itself out.
    (However, if she seems like the kind of person into the whole marrying early thing I would get myself a decent degree/job and tell her that you want her to wait for you to ask for her hand in marriage)
    I hope it works out for you!!
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    (Original post by bumppp.786)
    We're both 16.
    There you go. It's teenage infatuation, you both enjoy the attention the other provides, and ultimately it means nothing. She'll get married to someone else, and in a couple of years time you'll probably forget about her.

    If she's genuinely as religious as she/you claim, and you genuinely respect her, then for God's sake don't ask her to be your girlfriend. It's not even a Muslim concept, it's all temporary and based on lust, and you'll only be damaging her self-perception if it ***** up (and it always does), and all her principles will dissolve and she'll just be like all these other 'Muslim' girls who claim to follow Islam when they all secretly go clubbing/drink/have had multiple short-term relationships.

    If you still feel strongly in a couple of years, and still want to further your friendship, then do it the Islamic way.

    I'm a Muslim too, and trust me, I've been there. You'll both DEEPLY regret it. My relationship - and the relationship of ALL my Muslim friends with Muslim girls - have ****** up and ended in regret and broken hearts. We all grew up together over the years thinking, 'yeah this is it, this is the one, we're going to get married!' until we grew bored/tired/drifted apart/got married to someone else/etc.
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    (Original post by Farhad Z-17)
    There you go. It's teenage infatuation, you both enjoy the attention the other provides, and ultimately it means nothing. She'll get married to someone else, and in a couple of years time you'll probably forget about her.

    If she's genuinely as religious as she/you claim, and you genuinely respect her, then for God's sake don't ask her to be your girlfriend. It's not even a Muslim concept, it's all temporary and based on lust, and you'll only be damaging her self-perception if it ***** up (and it always does), and all her principles will dissolve and she'll just be like all these other 'Muslim' girls who claim to follow Islam when they all secretly go clubbing/drink/have had multiple short-term relationships.

    If you still feel strongly in a couple of years, and still want to further your friendship, then do it the Islamic way.

    I'm a Muslim too, and trust me, I've been there. You'll both DEEPLY regret it. My relationship - and the relationship of ALL my Muslim friends with Muslim girls - have ****** up and ended in regret and broken hearts. We all grew up together over the years thinking, 'yeah this is it, this is the one, we're going to get married!' until we grew bored/tired/drifted apart/got married to someone else/etc.
    Thanks man, helped me out a lot.
    And nah, I'm not even thinking of marrying til after I've gained a degree, job etc.
    I guess I'm just gonna have to act like I don't like her for a good few years.. :/
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    You don't have to act like you don't like her, otherwise she may get tired of you and seek that attention from elsewhere. Be good friends but know the limits and when to keep your distance, and don't get romantically involved.
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    (Original post by me...x)
    I think if she's quite serious with studying and building a career or something she won't be very interested in a girlfriend-boyfriend type relationship, since one it means she has to be committed to you for years to come without really being in a relationship, two it might make your friendship awkward and also it might be frustrating for you since I doubt she'll want to do the 'lets go on a date and hold hands' thing.
    If you're really really serious about this I'd just stay friends for now, see what her family is like since most people (I'm taking a wild guess here and thinking you're asian, sorry if its me being a complete douche) wont give their daughters hand in marriage if they dont see the guy has a stable job and source of income, which I doubt you have at 16.
    Maybe you could hint at the fact that you like her but keep it casual, there might be along time till marriage and your feeling might change. Stay in your weird 'were friends but like each other' relationship and if its are meant to be when the time comes it will all sort itself out.
    (However, if she seems like the kind of person into the whole marrying early thing I would get myself a decent degree/job and tell her that you want her to wait for you to ask for her hand in marriage)
    I hope it works out for you!!
    Thank you so much!
    This post has helped me out a lot x .
    And sorry for the late reply, I haven't been on in a while. ^______^ +1
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    she can't be that religious if shes talking to a boy!?
 
 
 
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