I've been friends with a girl I met around 10 months ago via a mutual friend.
We got along almost straight away, as the month's progressed, our friendship grew, we used to talk on msn 'til the early hours in the morning, sharing problems, and just generally having a laugh.
Throughout the summer, she went on holiday so there was a point where we hadn't talked for a few months, but again. Once we got back on, we used to talk for ages during the summer, 'til around 4-5AM.
I have feelings for her, but I don't want to sabotage the friendship I have tried so hard to maintain/build.
She's a religious muslim (wears the headscarf). I'm also a muslim, but not very religious.
The only problem I have is, I don't want to shame her by asking her for more than friendship. Because, I feel that our friendship will become irreparable and that's the last thing I want.
I want to spend a long time with this girl, maybe the rest of my life.
But, again. I don't know how to ask her this.
Thanks TSR, hope you can help me.
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- Thread Starter
- 26-09-2010 17:51
- 26-09-2010 18:11
Man up ffs.
- 27-09-2010 13:21
heya..awww thats cute..but is there anyway you can sorta hint things out but without being obvious, just to see is replies back. tbh maybe she feels the same way but she feels it would be bad for her to say it as she is seen to be religious. on the other hand i had a mate too who i was really close with we would always be seen together (bdw im muslim too) and everyone behind our backs would think we were going out..when there was seriously NOTHING between us..i kinda got fed up of everyone chattin rubbish so these days i donht spend to much time with him...the point of the story is that you dont wanna put her off you
- 27-09-2010 13:25
You should tell her. Even religious people are couples these days. If she doesn't feel the same just ask if you can stay friends. You won't know how she feels unless you ask her. Life's about taking risks, just go for it!
- 27-09-2010 13:28
I'm in love with a stripper...
- 27-09-2010 13:32
Hm... the old 'I want to tell her but don't want to ruin our friendship' thing. At the end of the day, ask yourself if you'll ever see her as ' just a friend' again, and if not, then it's time to make a move. Let her know you don't want to 'shame' her or anything.
- 27-09-2010 13:33
just tell her, this probably won't go away. The worst thing that can happen is that she doesn't reciprocate these feelings. Sounds like you're pretty serious about her, thinking about marriage etc. And I don't see how this could shame her, it's not like you just want a short term thing.
If she doesn't feel the same way, then I'm sorry but I'm sure you'll still be able to be friends
- 27-09-2010 13:41
Tell her, if you don't you will always be wondering if you should have. You probably will never be able to see her as a just a friend now anyway.
- 27-09-2010 13:47
Tell her how you feel in a subtle way. There are a lot of "what if's" that would really result from not saying it to her. She might like you the same way or other guys might be able to make the first move, putting you out of the picture. The only disadvantage it'll do is if she doesn't feel the same...but you can clearly tell her that you can wait if she's not ready yet or just continue on with the friendship and hope that someday she'll still change her mind. Hope you'll gather the strength to do it.