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How do you turn a sex buddy into a relationship? watch

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    So I broke up with my long term boyfriend about a year ago and have since then been sleeping with an older, more attractive and nicer guy as a sort of rebound.

    At first, I didn't want a relationship - just a rebound and obviously because he is a 25 year old male, having no strings sex was a good thing.

    However, as time has passed, we are still at it - not even just sex its more like dinner, movie, then sex and sleepover and I think I actually really like him and am ready for a relationship now.

    I don't want to be like "please can we be in a proper relationship" and scare him off because I don't want anything really serious just yet, I just don't want "just sex" anymore - I want to start dating.

    Any ideas of how I can do this? How I can make him see me in a different way? I mean he may already but I don't know. We have fantastic sexual chemistry and have a good time together, but I didnt want a relationship at the beginning. How do I change this?
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    Start with talking to him tell him how you feel. If he gets scared off then move on
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    You'll have to talk to him I'm afraid.

    That, or introduce him (i.e. when he is present) as your "boyfriend" to your friends and family. But I think there is no way you can just assume he will know what you mean. You'll have to ask him.

    You don't have to mention the word "relationship" yet. Ask him: "Can we start dating?". It's no different to asking a guy out, actually.
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    #1

    I'm worried if I talk to him about it and say the word "boyfriend" it will scare him off and ruin what we already have. That word in particular seems to make most guys run for the hills, even if you don't mean anything serious by it. And I don't. I just want it to be a little more than it already is and... don't want him to sleep with anyone else

    I mean, maybe I could just ask him to go for a drink rather than to come over? I don't know.
    • #2
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    'Dinner, movie, sex and sleepover'.

    This has been going on for a year and you don't think you are in a relationship already?

    Sure sounds like one to me.
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    Tell him you want to be exclusive.
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    Ask him to be exculsive first? Introduce the idea bit by bit.
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    Sounds like a relationship to me already. But talk to him and if he runs away there are plenty of other guys you can have sex with.
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    You don't.

    I kid..but tell him how you feel, and ask him what he wants.
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    Sex then cuddles then talk abit, then make him a sandwich, worked for my ex :L
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    You don't have to go straight in with 'oh hi so I'd like you to be my boyfriend'. ^^ But probably talking is the best way to go without dancing around it or game-playing. And unfortunately, it's probably best to be direct which could risk ruining what you have right now. But, you have to consider - are you happy with what you have now? If you'd like it to go further, and he doesn't, would you be able to just keep on with what you have knowing that he's not interested in monogamous relationship?

    Once you've brought it up it may be difficult for him or for you to go back to the way things were. You could allow things to progress naturally - perhaps just ask him what he thinks about the relationship? Honesty usually would be best here in my opinion. It could ruin it, but then if you're already having these feelings then, perhaps it is a real relationship you're actually after and just having a sex buddy isn't going to be the right thing for you any more. And, you could end up together and all happy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I broke up with my long term boyfriend about a year ago and have since then been sleeping with an older, more attractive and nicer guy as a sort of rebound.

    At first, I didn't want a relationship - just a rebound and obviously because he is a 25 year old male, having no strings sex was a good thing.

    However, as time has passed, we are still at it - not even just sex its more like dinner, movie, then sex and sleepover and I think I actually really like him and am ready for a relationship now.

    I don't want to be like "please can we be in a proper relationship" and scare him off because I don't want anything really serious just yet, I just don't want "just sex" anymore - I want to start dating.

    Any ideas of how I can do this? How I can make him see me in a different way? I mean he may already but I don't know. We have fantastic sexual chemistry and have a good time together, but I didnt want a relationship at the beginning. How do I change this?
    Well, what is the actual difference? I mean, how would your current "relationship" with him change if it was to become a relationship?
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    (Original post by cttp_ngaf)
    Well, what is the actual difference? I mean, how would your current "relationship" with him change if it was to become a relationship?
    Well that he wouldn't sleep with anyone else and we could spend more time together and do more couply things like I don't know - go to the cinema for example. Also, I could ring him for a chat rather than just phone sex. Do you know what I mean?

    I guess I don't really want to get with anyone else. Just him! And I'm scared that if I introduce the word "boyfriend" he'll run for the hills. I don't mean anything serious behind it - I've just figured I want to start dating him and calling him my boyfriend rather than just the guy I'm sleeping with.

    Also, my parents keep asking if I have a boyfriend and stuff and I can't exactly say yes! And he's older than me, too. I don't know how relationships work. It's not really "will you go out with me" anymore.
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    Don't.
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    (Original post by hazelsaurus)
    Sex then cuddles then talk abit, then make him a sandwich, worked for my ex :L
    Did you stop making him sandwiches?
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    (Original post by Roobsa)
    Did you stop making him sandwiches?
    No, it just turned out he was a emotionally manipulative ********..
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    I have a *feeling* that you are not going to get what you want out of this...you've been sleeping with him for about a year and got to know him, with no evident prospect of relationships on the horizon. Personally, I would say it was past the point of no return, relationship wise. I think he wouldn't have let this carry on so long if he wanted a relationship. I feel for you, cos I think he's been stringing you along a little...idk.
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    (Original post by hazelsaurus)
    No, it just turned out he was a emotionally manipulative ********..
    You must have poor sandwich making skills to turn a guy into an emotionally manipulative something.
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    Ring him and ask him how he is and how his day has been before you start the sexy talk.
    And find an event you could ask him along to?
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    Wait, do you know for sure that he's sleeping with other girls now? Because if he is, then I'm sorry but I just don't think it'd work or he'd want to be tied down.
 
 
 
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