Should I give him up to her..

To cut the story short, this guy gave me the impression that he liked me so I slowly came to like him. I didn't tell anybody though because I thought he liked one of my friends. Anyway we were spending time together (as friends) because I didn't think it would ever happen and I asked him if he did like her and he said no so you don't need to worry about it. Anyway as the night went on and more alcohol was drank I kissed him and I realised that I really did like him, he's just so genuine and nice. The other girl saw us together though, and because she'd said she would never get with him I thought it doesn't matter but apparently she now does like him, and she thought I knew that. If I'd have known I would never of tried it on with him but now I have and it's too late. I feel as though he's too good to let go though, but if I don't then this girl will never be my friend and everyone at uni will end up hating me. I really don't know what to do...

Reply 1

username234673

Make yourself the happy one. :yep:

Reply 2

Ilora-Danon

Look after number one. That's my motto.

Reply 3

twl

Anonymous

The other girl saw us together though, and because she'd said she would never get with him I thought it doesn't matter but apparently she now does like him, and she thought I knew that. If I'd have known I would never of tried it on with him but now I have and it's too late.

That other girl wasn't convinced she liked him until she saw you with him. That validated his worth for your friend so she now wants to pull rank and take him from you. Problem is, you like him even more now because you know your friend likes him.

The dynamic occurs all the time among women. Ordinary guys that girls aren't really interested in to begin with suddenly become the only guy in town worth having because of in-fighting among girls as to who is the prettier, wittier and sexier.

Don't give in to your friend. Believe in yourself. She doesn't like him, she just wants to rub your nose in the dirt.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 4

studyload

Why would you care what others would say. It's not like they're a couple or anything. The question is, does the guy like you the way you like him? If he does then your friend should start being mature and accept the truth ... be at least be happy for her friend. She's not a good friend if she starts getting angry at you for following your heart. :wink:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 5

twl

Yeah, if the guy doesn't really really like you LTR style he'll bang you and he'll bang your friend on the side. Your friend sounds like the type that would try to seduce him behind your back.

As a man, two women fighting over you, and you're not into a LTR, I mean, you would wouldn't you?

His only problem is that your friend sounds like the kind of girl will screw him then post the used condom under your door. If that happened, what would you do then? Stick by him?

Reply 6

**CutiePie**

Anonymous

No, think about yourself. If she liked him she could have easily said so but she didn't, so there really is no problem.
If she would have said yes she liked him then you would have never have got with him, she gave her chance up.

Reply 7

sarahthegemini

She's not a good enough friend if she gets angry and suddenly starts to act like she likes the guy she saw you get with ... Keep him for yourself.

Reply 8

Iche

twl

er...interesting :hmmmm2:

Reply 9

Saluki-Sake

Anonymous

You can't really 'give him up to her' because he said he wasn't interested in her :rolleyes:

How long have you known the other girl/ has she known this guy for? Clearly he wants to be with you, you want to be with him, if this girl isn't really much of a friend or if she just has a crush then just ignore her- there's no point, he won't want to date her anyway. :p:

It'll be awkward for a little while but she'll get over it.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Well I am at university so I haven't known them for very long.. 3 weeks.
Since I came I've been close to him friendswise but then everybody has because he is so nice.
Because I haven't known her for that long I didn't feel as though I 'had to' tell her I liked him, and she says if I'd told her before she'd have been fine with it.

I get the impression that the guy doesn't like her at all though. I see him as a potential boyfriend because unlike other guys I've been with since I got to uni I actually got to know him before anything happened.. not that I have slept with him.

Another friend of ours who is not involved told me that I should give him up, but I am liking him more and more everyday. And if he doesn't even like the other girl but does like me that makes it obvious what should happen, but that will hurt the other girl then.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

studyload

I think he does like me, we both like each other as friends but I could tell it was getting more than that with the kind of texts he was sending me. After I spent time with him I realised I really did like him and he must have felt the same if he came back the next day.

He says that she should grow up and accept that he doesn't like her, but I don't know if me and him can carry on because 1) she said she would be ok with it if i'd have told her straight 2) she likes him and I don't wanna hurt my friend.

Reply 12

hali0112

don't rush into anything. you don't want the reputation of being that girl that made a move on a guy when your friend also liked him. As you have just started uni you don't want to get a bad reputation so early on. if you get that reputaion now it will stick and thats how you will be known.....wait a little while. until the issue is no longer a problem. If you still decide that you want to be with him and take things further then tell her first and be genuine about it. be honest with her so she doesn't feel like you are going behind her back. :smile:

Reply 13

acdunn

In the end isn't it the guy's decision as to who he goes out with?? If he chose you, your friend can't say anything about it. I mean, I <3 ryan reynolds, but I'm not exactly gonna start sending hate mail to ms. johansson...!!

Reply 14

PapaShmurff

You own that penis now, tell her to go find another one

Hoes before bros?

He's not going to magically stop liking you and prefer her! You really like him, make the most of it. You haven't done anything wrong - I say go to the girl, explain what happened and apologise, and make sure everyone knows the real story.

Reply 17

Koobideh

Why should you care if she likes him? You shouldn't try to be so sympathetic to other peoples feelings because you are the only person who is going to get hurt in the long run. I doubt she would do the same thing for you or care about whether she should go out with a guy that you liked. Nobody does that anyway. You got closer to him first, she can piss off.

Reply 18

studyload

Anonymous

But you said she didn't mention she liked him before you made THAT move with him, then why does she expect you to tell her about your feelings for him in the first place. I think she's acting kind of immature and a manipulative friend if you ask me. If the guy is known to be a player then I might consider her behavior but if he's worth keeping then I think you should follow your heart. Could she just be at least happy that you like someone who likes you back? :rolleyes:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 19

Zweihander

F*ck her, early bird and all that.