The Student Room Group

Second night of uni and I want to cry

I don't like any of my flatmates and it seems like everyone else in my block and hall already know each other really well - obviously this can't be the case with every single person but I feel like I can't make any friends because they've already established their groups. I'm not the most outgoing of people but I'm usually quite confident in the sense that I will do what I want to and won't be pressured into doing something that doesn't appeal to me...will this go against me? I genuinely feel like none of my flatmates like me even though I haven't done anything horrible to them. Did you make good friends with all your flatmates straight away or did it take some time? Did you make good friends with people that weren't your flat mates? I keep thinking about all my friends and family back home that love me for who I am :frown:

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Reply 1
They probably do like you, but maybe as you haven't spoken to them as much as you could have or something, they are slightly reserved.

I think for the first few weeks, being pressured into things that you don't necessarily want to do (as long as it's nothing illegal) may work in your favour until you make friends.
Are you male or female? Just wondering really because I'm EXACTLY the same. My freshers week has come and gone and I've started my course and I'm still eating lunch alone and finding it hard to fit in with anyone because they all seem to have established their groups already.

It's early days, you will make friends. I will make friends. You've just got to keep putting yourself out there and at least try to be abit more outgoing than you normally would be. You don't have to go out partying, just say hi to someone in your accomodation or your course.

And it's okay to cry!! I cried thrice in freshers week. All on the phone to my mum. Probably why I haven't made friends. :p:
Reply 3
Chill out, you will meet people on your course. As I said in the other thread, I made a lot of superficial friends "acquaintances" but no one I really hang out with during the year.
Reply 4
Loads of people feel like you.. I did!
It gets better :smile:
I still only have like 3 proper friends and i've been here 2 weeks!
Chin up tho, yeah ? :smile:
Reply 5
i think that you should cry.
Reply 6
bingobongo
I don't like any of my flatmates and it seems like everyone else in my block and hall already know each other really well - obviously this can't be the case with every single person but I feel like I can't make any friends because they've already established their groups. I'm not the most outgoing of people but I'm usually quite confident in the sense that I will do what I want to and won't be pressured into doing something that doesn't appeal to me...will this go against me? I genuinely feel like none of my flatmates like me even though I haven't done anything horrible to them. Did you make good friends with all your flatmates straight away or did it take some time? Did you make good friends with people that weren't your flat mates? I keep thinking about all my friends and family back home that love me for who I am :frown:

I was talking to a friend about this just a moment ago as she is struggling. I have met lots of great people on my course and through them met really nice non-medics so it isn't the end of the world if you don't get on with your flatmates. Make sure you got out to Freshers events as these will give plenty of meeting opportunities.
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 7
I sympathise OP, in fact i am planning on pulling out of student accomodation this week and commuting on a train journey. I work much better and focus much better at home. Which will in the long term, lead to me getting better grades.
SallySparrow66
Are you male or female? Just wondering really because I'm EXACTLY the same. My freshers week has come and gone and I've started my course and I'm still eating lunch alone and finding it hard to fit in with anyone because they all seem to have established their groups already.

It's early days, you will make friends. I will make friends. You've just got to keep putting yourself out there and at least try to be abit more outgoing than you normally would be. You don't have to go out partying, just say hi to someone in your accomodation or your course.

And it's okay to cry!! I cried thrice in freshers week. All on the phone to my mum. Probably why I haven't made friends. :p:



This, ^^, I know its hard but you got to keep putting yourself out there and become a little more outgoing. You will find in societies/activities you do there be a lot more similar minded people and that a great way to make friends.

Good luck. :smile:
logic123
I sympathise OP, in fact i am planning on pulling out of student accomodation this week and commuting on a train journey. I work much better and focus much better at home. Which will in the long term, lead to me getting better grades.


Aww what halls are you in? I felt like that at the beginning of UCL but soon realised that, after freshers', everything calms down and then real friendships start to form.

If you've really thought it through then I'm not going to discourage you but I'd wait at least until 2 weeks into your course if it was me.

Also, I wish I'd done neuroscience!
Reply 10
It will honestly get better. I graduated this year and I'm seriously missing it, they will become the best years of your life, so please give it a chance.
I felt exactly the same way 3 years ago, I cried every day as I hated my housemates as we had nothing in common. I even considered dropping out. Looking back it would have been the biggest mistake ever.

Even though you might feel like they have already made friends, you can never make enough friends in uni. Try and talk to them in the communal area you have, sugest going to the pub for a drink, or go for a night out as then you will have plenty to laugh and talk about the next day.
Have you had your freshers fayre yet if not try signing up to some clubs and societies, as that is a great way to make friends and you will all have something in common then.
Trust me you will make friends on your course too as these are the ones that you will have to see in lectures everyday.
Hope things get better for you, I know what your all going through
Hey, Im in the same position and im sure there are plenty others. I cried because my flat mates arent interested in talking/going out so i feel kinda lonely. I plan to try and make friends on my course and by joining societies so that might work for you.

Hope things get better!
Reply 12
My boyfriend lived in halls (I didn't, I had my own place) and he never got on with any of his flatmates, they actually seemed to hate each other. He did makes friends with people on different floors though and with a few people on his course :smile: he felt the same at first though.

There will always be people out there somewhere who are likeminded, just make sure you give yourself a chance to meet them. Go and sit by people in a lecture and say hi, join societies, get talking to people who are hanging around in the corridor waiting for the lecture hall to be free. Most people, I found, are happy to exchange phone numbers and get talking, so you will make friends :smile: I had to do it that way as I did not live with anyone. Try and keep in touch with your friends back home for now through emails and so on, so you feel that connection, but just get yourself out there around uni too. Maybe call a house meeting and try a drinking game/ other game so you and your housemates can get to know each other and you can also establish flat rules? You may find yourself fitting in a bit better if you all have fun together and then they will include you more and you can head out the SU nights and so on together.
SallySparrow66
Are you male or female? Just wondering really because I'm EXACTLY the same. My freshers week has come and gone and I've started my course and I'm still eating lunch alone and finding it hard to fit in with anyone because they all seem to have established their groups already.

It's early days, you will make friends. I will make friends. You've just got to keep putting yourself out there and at least try to be abit more outgoing than you normally would be. You don't have to go out partying, just say hi to someone in your accomodation or your course.

And it's okay to cry!! I cried thrice in freshers week. All on the phone to my mum. Probably why I haven't made friends. :p:


Don't worry, there are probbaly loads of people eating lunch alone and going about the campus individually and you'll soon make friends.

You sound like you've already got a really positive attitude but I just thought I'd reassure you!

Also, I cried loads during freshers and the majority of first term - it's nothing to feel bad about :smile:
Reply 14
SallySparrow66
Are you male or female? Just wondering really because I'm EXACTLY the same. My freshers week has come and gone and I've started my course and I'm still eating lunch alone and finding it hard to fit in with anyone because they all seem to have established their groups already.

It's early days, you will make friends. I will make friends. You've just got to keep putting yourself out there and at least try to be abit more outgoing than you normally would be. You don't have to go out partying, just say hi to someone in your accomodation or your course.

And it's okay to cry!! I cried thrice in freshers week. All on the phone to my mum. Probably why I haven't made friends. :p:


I finding it hard to believe the situation you posted is true... according to your profile you have quite eclectic tastes and seem pretty friendly :smile: ....... but then again I'm in a similar situation although I'm living off-campus and have only been at uni one day :smile:

Introverted :smile: and jazz ftw!
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 15
How about, you know, instead of sulking in your room, go talk them?

God some of you people are ******* stupid.
Can I ask which university you're at?
Reply 17
Aww I cried on my third day but things do really pick up. I know things can be a bit daunting but really put yourself out there. I did and now don't feel so lonely, I seem to click better with my flatmates and plus I have a group of people from my course/other halls that regularly text me and sort out plans etc.
Once Freshers week dies down a bit people will be more chilled and you'll have the oppertunity to get to know people better.
Reply 18
My flatmates sucked last year and I don't even remember their names now :erm:

But, as I did, you will meet people out in freshers' week and on your course and anywhere in between. Flatmates aren't the be-all and end-all of uni friends.
Reply 19
I had a rubbish first year of uni. I ended up with a flat that I didn't get on with. I made the effort to go out with them one night and was proceeded to be abandoned by them in a club, but luckily I met some friendly people from another block who I hung out with for the rest of the evening. The problem with first year flats is you can't choose who you end up living with so it can be very difficult. I luckily live close to uni so although m parents made me stick out the first week I was able to come home at the weekend and the stability of knowing what was going on made it better. Freshers week is always bad cos it lacks structure but things get better once you start the peoper term. I spent the year never getting on with my flat mates and they even ignored me so I decided they weren't worth it and made friends with people on my course and in societies instead because at least you have somethings in common.

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