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Can you trust a girl who has a close male friend? watch

  • View Poll Results: The girl you fancy has a best friend who is male. Is she -
    Marriage material
    30
    57.69%
    Pump and dump
    22
    42.31%

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    (Original post by strawberry)
    I'm easily friends with both. why is it that you are concluding that just because I say I get along better with guys means I don't get along at all with girls?
    If you get on well with girls "I get along better with guys" is a strange thing for you to say.

    Perhaps you should stop saying that lest men you are interested in get the wrong end of the stick about you.

    Saying "I get along with guys and girls equally well" is what a man wants to hear... however, he'd prefer it if when he examined your social life he found fewer men than women in it.
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    Despite the fact that my ex boyfriend married his best friend I would still trust my partner..

    I guess if she was comletely his type then I might be a bit concerned, but I think it's better to trust him and then if I get ****** over, it's him that's the ****. Rather than being controlling and jealous over the situation and get dumped for being a nutter.
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    (Original post by Gems2k)
    Just because a girl has a best mate who is a guy doesnt mean she's shagging him. I've been best mates with a guy for 6 years and nothing sexual has ever happened and never will. I have loads of guy friends simply because i spend a lot of time sailing and flying and both these sports are male dominated.
    Studies have shown girls who like high risk adrenaline sports also like high risk adrenaline sex... not saying you are one of those girls, there is variation but it is a trend.

    I have few female friends as girls tend to be so F****** *****y it irritates me also most take themselves way too seriously.

    I agree that if you dont trust a girl cos she's got more guy mates than you have. its not her thats got the issue, the issue is all yours.
    By f-ing *****y you mean they object to you chatting up guys they fancy? Explain... I don't think girls are as bad as you make out.

    Plenty of girls get on with other girls just fine. You're the extreme, not them.
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    (Original post by Farmboy_Pip)
    Despite the fact that my ex boyfriend married his best friend I would still trust my partner..
    You are a very trusting person.

    I guess if she was comletely his type then I might be a bit concerned, but I think it's better to trust him and then if I get ****** over, it's him that's the ****. Rather than being controlling and jealous over the situation and get dumped for being a nutter.
    But if you plan before hand you, you won't get into a situation where you're totally ****** over.

    Jealousy is good. You're the hottest girl in the universe - why shouldn't I be jealous?
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    (Original post by twl)
    Personally, I wouldn't want my girlfriend to have a boy best friend. Why? If I'm not her best friend she goes to to talk about her issues then I'm not in a proper relationship.
    So she's not allowed a female best friend either..?

    And bisexual girls aren't allowed any friends at all?

    Good luck ever finding anyone who will put up with you.
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    My best freind is female. It's definitely like a brother sister thing going on there, it'd just feel wrong. I doubt I could even perform if the oppurtunity somehow arose. You have nothing to worry about mate, honestly.
    Stop being so paranoid.
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    (Original post by sugar_and_spice)
    I generally get on better with guys, and one of my best friends is a guy, I've also never cheated before, so I don't see the problem

    totally agree with you, cheating is wrong and boysare the better friends
    And i think if men are going to worry about their girlfriends best male mates then they shouldn't even bother.
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    (Original post by twl)
    Hypothetical situation: Girl you fancy has a close friend... a male best friend. She says he and her are best buddies in the world, he's really funny and friendly but it's "not like that".

    Can you trust a girl like that?

    - Does it depend on how attractive her male friend is?

    - Would you trust her more or less if she had multiple male friends?

    - Does the fact she has only one male best friend creep you out, or would more best friends make you more suspicious of her chastity?

    - If he best friend was her 'ex' would you like that?

    Are girls like that marriage material or a pump and dump?
    I'd be fine with it up until the point that it was her 'ex'. I was in this situation, was not a happy bunny.
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    (Original post by twl)
    Studies have shown girls who like high risk adrenaline sports also like high risk adrenaline sex... not saying you are one of those girls, there is variation but it is a trend.



    By f-ing *****y you mean they object to you chatting up guys they fancy? Explain... I don't think girls are as bad as you make out.

    Plenty of girls get on with other girls just fine. You're the extreme, not them.
    I know i'm the extreme, i'm completely different to most girls. I.e. if someone upsets me i let them know and then sort it out and get over it. rather than sulk in the corner hoping they figure it out using a crystal ball.

    i dont have a problem with girls being friends at all, i'm just saying i prefer hanging around with men and i'm not a slut. Just because i enjoy there company doesnt mean i jump into bed with them.

    I'm a major extrovert and enjoy going out having a laugh and yes getting the adrenaline going. i cant stand shopping and just hanging around watching rom coms.

    My point was that i have a lot of male friends, far more than female friends because i get on better with them as i have more in common with them.
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    Only if he's gay
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    (Original post by twl)
    If you get on well with girls "I get along better with guys" is a strange thing for you to say.

    Perhaps you should stop saying that lest men you are interested in get the wrong end of the stick about you.

    Saying "I get along with guys and girls equally well" is what a man wants to hear... however, he'd prefer it if when he examined your social life he found fewer men than women in it.
    I get on fine with girls, I get on better with guys. Men I'm interested in never "get the wrong end of the stick about me" because I'm pretty clear on my life policies regarding relationships. My boyfriend of 2.5 years has no issue at all with me going out to the bars/clubs and dancing with other guys. He knows all about it too.

    He also knows that I'm in a course full of guys, so having more guy friends is almost inevitable. This is the main reason why I date secure men; men who trust and know that they are my choice and everything else is trivial. Hence, my harsh cheating policy too, both on myself and my partner. Why be harsh on others and not on myself?
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    Originally Posted by strawberry
    I hang out with girls and guys, I just get along better with guys
    This

    Don't you think that's a problem... should you not try to improve how you get on with girls?
    Why should she and other girls like her? Why should we change who we are to suit men like you? We shouldn't, and we won't. If a guy can't accept us the way we are, friends and all, then they're not worth it.

    If I met a girl and discovered she couldn't get on with other girls I might think she had a less rounded personality than I would want.
    Personal preference. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with US. The problem's with you and your dated views on how women should be/act.

    Does the fact she doesn't know other girls mean she has never picked up good cooking tips? Does she know how to sew? Dance?
    I can cook better than most girls I know. I can sew better than most girls I know. I can't dance very well, but I don't enjoy it. Again, personal preference... Just because a girl can't do these things doesn't make her "defective". Howsabout YOU learn to do these things rather than expect her to?

    I expect you want your women to cook, clean and be a housewife...

    I also might conclude that the real reason you don't get on with other girls is because other girls don't trust you, and boys are only friends with you because they are after one thing...
    In my case, I don't trust other girls. I enjoy their company to a point... But not to the point where they will automatically be my favourite friends.

    I have been bullied by girls, I have had one get into my (ex) boyfriend's pants, I have had friends that have turned on me and left me with no one to talk to for no reason. Many of the girls I've come across in my life have been *****y, vindictive individuals. If I'm expected to be friends with people like that just so I have more girl friends than guy friends to please people like you, you can shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

    That said, I've had some fantastic girly friends, and I love many of them! But my guy friends are far less likely to do any of the above, and they like more of the same things that I do. That immediately gives me people to talk to. I'm a gamer, I like rock music, I'd rather watch action movies over girly rom-coms. The list goes on. Trust me, find some girls like that, and I will be a happy bunny. But they're few and far between where I'm from.

    If you can't trust a woman that has more male friends than female, then as I've already said, that's your problem.

    The women in my family, most notably my mum, have been much like me. Prefer male friends over women friends because that's just what we're like. My mum's been happily married for 20 years now and would never dream of doing any of the things you expect women like us to do. She's the best role model in the world to me because she doesn't expect me to fit into a stereotype of what a "girl" should be. She let me play in mud when I was little, dressed me in clothes I wanted to wear rather than girly little dresses that I detested, play video games when I was younger, and let me be the person I want to be. And I thank her for it because I'm a happier human being for it.

    A girl should NEVER have to alter the way she is to please people like you. People like you should be more accepting of the fact that we don't all fit to one set of expectations. If you don't like it, fair enough, but don't make out that there is something wrong with us for it or that we're any less trustworthy. There will be exceptions to this, and some girls with lots of male friends possibly won't be trustworthy. But that doesn't apply to us all.
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    (Original post by missygeorgia)
    So she's not allowed a female best friend either..?

    And bisexual girls aren't allowed any friends at all?

    Good luck ever finding anyone who will put up with you.
    You needn't have written the first two sentences to set up the money quote.

    Actions speak louder than words.

    It's a myth that girls disqualify men because they frown on them having other close male friends. Girls adore you more for having the self-respect to demand the lion share, and then some, of her attention. And this is for a good reason too. Only guys who really hate their woman, or is being unfaithful, would allow her to hang around with other men.

    (Original post by Megaross)
    My best freind is female. It's definitely like a brother sister thing going on there, it'd just feel wrong. I doubt I could even perform if the oppurtunity somehow arose. You have nothing to worry about mate, honestly.
    Stop being so paranoid.
    The many anecdotes posted to the thread should have shown you this is not paranoia. Yet you still deny the reality. Why do you think so many voted for "pump and dump" if its all mental illness?

    (Original post by JessicaBlakee)
    totally agree with you, cheating is wrong and boysare the better friends
    And i think if men are going to worry about their girlfriends best male mates then they shouldn't even bother.
    Don't worry about that. They'll love you and leave you.

    (Original post by Mr Anononomous)
    I'd be fine with it up until the point that it was her 'ex'. I was in this situation, was not a happy bunny.
    Totally. Hope you showed her what the curb looked like.
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    (Original post by Economist)
    Only if he's gay
    If she has one gay friend, and he's the gayest gay you've ever met, then okay.

    If she has more than a couple of gay friends then it suggests she's been hanging around LGB bars... which would be a "red flag" to lesbian tendencies. If she's lesbian you can't trust her with women either!
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    (Original post by strawberry)
    I get on fine with girls, I get on better with guys. Men I'm interested in never "get the wrong end of the stick about me" because I'm pretty clear on my life policies regarding relationships. My boyfriend of 2.5 years has no issue at all with me going out to the bars/clubs and dancing with other guys. He knows all about it too.
    He's screwing another woman. Either that or he is an enthusiastic doormat, which is no fun for the guy. Guys who can dominate women will never trade down for being a doormat like your boyfriend appears to be.

    He also knows that I'm in a course full of guys, so having more guy friends is almost inevitable. This is the main reason why I date secure men; men who trust and know that they are my choice and everything else is trivial. Hence, my harsh cheating policy too, both on myself and my partner. Why be harsh on others and not on myself?
    I'm not saying your relationship is over. Yours could be the exception that proves the rule.
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    I didn't think you were saying my relationship is over ... nor is my boyfriend a doormat lol. I don't think much of doormats. Nor is he screwing another woman. Oh ye of little faith, there ARE relationships like mine in the world.
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    Since I'm a girl, I'll go for the opposite. I think it would depend how they acted around each other. I mean, if they seem to have a kind of brother-sister relationship then I wouldn't mind it at all, but if they were flirting all the time I'd be quite bothered. So I'd have to see for myself before I could say how I'd feel in that situation. As long as there wasn't anything between them I wouldn't be bothered, I think it's better if people have girl and guy friends. If his best friend was more like a sister to him than anything else then I'd basically treat her in the same way I'd treat any real siblings he had. There are different ways of being close with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean there's something going on.
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    (Original post by ghostbusterbunny)
    This

    Why should she and other girls like her? Why should we change who we are to suit men like you? We shouldn't, and we won't. If a guy can't accept us the way we are, friends and all, then they're not worth it.
    This is what women often say. This gives men the wrong idea about what women are like. Women behave completely opposite to the way you describe. Women DREAM of a man that they can change but reality is, they constantly change for their man. For thrilling sex you want a man with who can subtly control you with his mental and physical prowess. You don't want abuse but women often take abuse if they have a man who satisfies their innate need to be dominated.


    Personal preference. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with US. The problem's with you and your dated views on how women should be/act.
    Not all women are like you... you don't speak for all women. Remember? I think you are one of the girls in this thread saying "I get on much better with boys than women".


    I can cook better than most girls I know. I can sew better than most girls I know. I can't dance very well, but I don't enjoy it. Again, personal preference... Just because a girl can't do these things doesn't make her "defective". Howsabout YOU learn to do these things rather than expect her to?
    No, I need to save my energy to protect you, to hunt and bring back meat for the kids.

    I expect you want your women to cook, clean and be a housewife...
    Should be keen at doing that. Cooking is a man's activity too so on some days it's perfectly acceptable for him to cook. As for cleaning, woman's at home with kids, she's got time to do it.

    In my case, I don't trust other girls. I enjoy their company to a point... But not to the point where they will automatically be my favourite friends.

    I have been bullied by girls, I have had one get into my (ex) boyfriend's pants, I have had friends that have turned on me and left me with no one to talk to for no reason. Many of the girls I've come across in my life have been *****y, vindictive individuals. If I'm expected to be friends with people like that just so I have more girl friends than guy friends to please people like you, you can shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
    Okay, some girls have not had good experiences with girl friends but we've all been there... boys and girls. We don't all 'give up' on our fellow sex just because we've had an argument with one member of it.


    That said, I've had some fantastic girly friends, and I love many of them! But my guy friends are far less likely to do any of the above, and they like more of the same things that I do. That immediately gives me people to talk to. I'm a gamer, I like rock music, I'd rather watch action movies over girly rom-coms. The list goes on. Trust me, find some girls like that, and I will be a happy bunny. But they're few and far between where I'm from.

    If you can't trust a woman that has more male friends than female, then as I've already said, that's your problem.

    The women in my family, most notably my mum, have been much like me. Prefer male friends over women friends because that's just what we're like. My mum's been happily married for 20 years now and would never dream of doing any of the things you expect women like us to do. She's the best role model in the world to me because she doesn't expect me to fit into a stereotype of what a "girl" should be. She let me play in mud when I was little, dressed me in clothes I wanted to wear rather than girly little dresses that I detested, play video games when I was younger, and let me be the person I want to be. And I thank her for it because I'm a happier human being for it.

    A girl should NEVER have to alter the way she is to please people like you. People like you should be more accepting of the fact that we don't all fit to one set of expectations. If you don't like it, fair enough, but don't make out that there is something wrong with us for it or that we're any less trustworthy. There will be exceptions to this, and some girls with lots of male friends possibly won't be trustworthy. But that doesn't apply to us all.
    FFS. Keep your replies short. I don't want your life history.

    As I said, girls do alter how they behave. That's the reality. The DREAM is how you describe... Women dream of masculine men they can control, but when they doormat him they quickly reject or cheat on him. That is why men should always stay on the front food with their woman... she shouldn't be ordering you about, if she is she won't be sexually attractive to you.
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    (Original post by Gems2k)
    I know i'm the extreme, i'm completely different to most girls. I.e. if someone upsets me i let them know and then sort it out and get over it. rather than sulk in the corner hoping they figure it out using a crystal ball.

    i dont have a problem with girls being friends at all, i'm just saying i prefer hanging around with men and i'm not a slut. Just because i enjoy there company doesnt mean i jump into bed with them.

    I'm a major extrovert and enjoy going out having a laugh and yes getting the adrenaline going. i cant stand shopping and just hanging around watching rom coms.

    My point was that i have a lot of male friends, far more than female friends because i get on better with them as i have more in common with them.
    That just means you are going to be less popular with alpha guys who are into serious LTRs. My advice to you is to get some more female friends for somewhere even if you can't tear yourself away from your existing male friends. Dilute the maleness of your friendship group.
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    of course I've always had a mix of male and female friends throughout my life same as anyone I know.
 
 
 
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