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Can you trust a girl who has a close male friend? Watch

  • View Poll Results: The girl you fancy has a best friend who is male. Is she -
    Marriage material
    30
    57.69%
    Pump and dump
    22
    42.31%

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    (Original post by NaturalDisaster)
    Since I'm a girl, I'll go for the opposite. I think it would depend how they acted around each other. I mean, if they seem to have a kind of brother-sister relationship then I wouldn't mind it at all, but if they were flirting all the time I'd be quite bothered.
    Fair enough. But how would you know they are not flirting behind your back?

    Sorry I have to cut this short. No time.
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    BotD until she does something to prove that you cannot trust her. I have a lot of guy mates (infact hardly any girl ones if I'm being honest!) and I would dump my bf if he said that I couldn't be mates with them anymore.
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    Not all women are like you... you don't speak for all women. Remember? I think you are one of the girls in this thread saying "I get on much better with boys than women".
    No, I speak for the ones that are like me. The ones you have such a big problem with.

    No, I need to save my energy to protect you, to hunt and bring back meat for the kids.
    Whilst that's a nice trait to an extent it's dated and ridiculous. I'm perfectly capable of doing that for myself, thanks.


    Should be keen at doing that. Cooking is a man's activity too so on some days it's perfectly acceptable for him to cook. As for cleaning, woman's at home with kids, she's got time to do it.
    Wow...


    Okay, some girls have not had good experiences with girl friends but we've all been there... boys and girls. We don't all 'give up' on our fellow sex just because we've had an argument with one member of it.
    No, and I haven't. I have friends of both sexes. Girlfriends are great when you want a girly night in, or shopping, or other extremely girly activities that I'm apparently supposed to do. My guy friends are around for me to be more of myself and do other things that I enjoy like gaming, or watching films. Not to shag.

    As I said, girls do alter how they behave. That's the reality. The DREAM is how you describe... Women dream of masculine men they can control, but when they doormat him they quickly reject or cheat on him. That is why men should always stay on the front food with their woman... she shouldn't be ordering you about, if she is she won't be sexually attractive to you.
    Once again, an extremely dated view on how men and women should act. We're not in the 50s/60s anymore...
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    (Original post by ghostbusterbunny)
    No, I speak for the ones that are like me. The ones you have such a big problem with.
    That's me. He apparently has issues with me too, what about I don't know.

    I guess it's safe to conclude that guys like twl would be the type to control who their girlfriends talk to if it's a male. Which is sad. And stupid.

    I talk to whoever I damn well please and as your girlfriend, and my boyfriend, you should be trusting me. Don't trust the guy I'm talking to? Trust me to handle it. Take matters into your hands and threaten my guy friend and you'll have your balls twisted.

    And no, I don't always need a guy to do **** for me that I can damn well do by myself.
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    (Original post by sugar_and_spice)
    I generally get on better with guys, and one of my best friends is a guy, I've also never cheated before, so I don't see the problem
    Yet most girls don't have a LotR fetish. :flute:
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    (Original post by twl)
    You needn't have written the first two sentences to set up the money quote.

    Actions speak louder than words.

    It's a myth that girls disqualify men because they frown on them having other close male friends. Girls adore you more for having the self-respect to demand the lion share, and then some, of her attention. And this is for a good reason too. Only guys who really hate their woman, or is being unfaithful, would allow her to hang around with other men.
    So you didn't answer anything I asked.
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    (Original post by unknownking321)
    Yet most girls don't have a LotR fetish. :flute:
    Don't pretend it doesn't turn you on. :hubba:
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    (Original post by sugar_and_spice)
    Don't pretend it doesn't turn you on. :hubba:
    :nah: I've never witnessed such a thing so I can't comment.
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    (Original post by unknownking321)
    :nah: I've never witnessed such a thing so I can't comment.
    That's a lie :yep:
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    (Original post by twl)
    Don't you think that's a problem... should you not try to improve how you get on with girls?

    If I met a girl and discovered she couldn't get on with other girls I might think she had a less rounded personality than I would want.

    Does the fact she doesn't know other girls mean she has never picked up good cooking tips? Does she know how to sew? Dance?
    How ridiculous!

    Like many others in this thread, I happen to be a girl who gets on better with guys than girls, typically because I really cannot be bothered to do the whole gossipy, *****y thing that many girls (not all, of course) seem to do. I just want an easy life with people who I can get along with all the time, and just in my life, this seems to have been with guys. I don't specifically have a male best friend (only my bf) and I also don't purposely avoid making friends with girls.

    I could never imagine ever ever getting with any of my guy friends, it just would not happen, and I know for sure that they feel the same. That is just the way the relationship is between me and them, it is obviously very difficult to explain why the relationship is like that to someone who does not believe males and females can be friends without something else going on. And also for a while now I have lost all interest in fancying other men because I am very ready to commit to my bf, so that is even more reason to say I wouldn't get with a guy friend of mine.

    And about your other comment, I have had mostly guy friends during my life, yet I AM a dancer (all different varieties of dance), I love to cook and not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I am a reasonably good cook, I love to cook for my bf, and I can sew if I need to (not so keen on sewing though because I end up pricking myself and bleeding all over the piece of clothing). Just because a girl has male friends doesn't mean she has no interest in this type of thing. That doesn't even make sense to me why you would think that.

    (Original post by twl)
    I also might conclude that the real reason you don't get on with other girls is because other girls don't trust you, and boys are only friends with you because they are after one thing...
    I don't have a problem with other girls not trusting me. In secondary school, the reason I ended up finding male friends is because I was bullied by my best girl mate (who I had been friends with for 8 or 9 years) and her new best friend. After a year or so of being bullied by them I finally broke away and found some guys who didn't judge me because I had spots and whatever else they bullied me for, and life just suddenly got easier because I felt accepted. Then there was all the popular girls who used to pass comments about my skin (just like to add that antibiotics have now sorted that out completely for me), so I pretty much didn't have any girl friends in secondary school, and now in uni, I'm making more girl friends again, everyone is much more mature.

    So yeah, don't be so quick to judge that "it must be something wrong with you if you don't have friends that are girls", well anyone who takes the piss ou of someone because of their appearance or whatever, is not friend material, that's not my fault is it, that is theirs for being so mean and spiteful, and most I met were like that when I was younger, and I haven't really had much opportunity to make girl friends since, apart from now.
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    The many anecdotes posted to the thread should have shown you this is not paranoia. Yet you still deny the reality. Why do you think so many voted for "pump and dump" if its all mental illness?
    You clearly are being paranoid though, you have no other reasoning to think your missus might shag one of her male freinds other than the fact he has a penis.
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    (Original post by twl)
    I guess from your name and icon that you are from an Asian community where it is less socially acceptable for girls to have close friends with men to whom they are not related?
    No. Incorrect. Its actually infact a religious belief. Nothing to do with race, culture, etc..

    (Original post by twl)
    it is less socially acceptable for girls to have close friends with men to whom they are not related?
    and vice versa.

    (Original post by twl)
    So this would mean that you definitely would not want a girl with a male best friend.
    again, this also applies a male.

    And want? lol - what you or anyone decides to do has nothing to do with me and i couldnt care less.

    (Original post by twl)
    Close male friends in addition to female friends is most fashionable among white middle class females.
    good for them - just dont be suprised if its anything more than that.
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    (Original post by twl)
    Fair enough. But how would you know they are not flirting behind your back?

    Sorry I have to cut this short. No time.
    I wouldn't. But I would let them know that if they cheated on me with anyone at all then they'd better have their hospital bed booked, if they still decide to cheat on me then it's obvious that I'm better off without them. And I would never cheat on anyone. It's too mean.
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    (Original post by twl)
    I would never trust you... it's not natural for a girl to get on better with guys. I think you are saying this, and other girls say this, as a "mask" or "camoflage" for infidelity. If they get their men used to her being around other men she can more easily sneak off for a quickie on the side than if her husband was not used to her being around so many non-related men.

    I don't agree with some Islamic cultures which totally ban women from associating with non-related men, but white middle class men should know the risks and frown upon women who seek out male best friends or keep in contact with **** buddy exes.
    If you have a genuine relationship with a person there shouldn't be those trust issues, and a woman who would manipulate a situation like that is a *****, and if she loved the person she was with she wouldn't do it.
    3 out of 5 of my very closest friends are guys, though 2 of the guys are gay. And the other guy we like the same tv shows and we're both taking biology for uni, but i'd never have a friend that close that there was an attraction to, for either of us, it'd b really unfair on him if he was just attracted to me and i didn't feel the same way, or if i was attracted to him and still wanted to hang out with him all the time and be best friends, i'd feel i was already cheating emotionally.
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    i think it is a load of utter crap, i mean seriously, has it ever occurred to you that she might prefer to be close to guys because girls are so *****y? i am a girl, i have 3 close girlfriends.. the rest are guys.. i don't sleep with my "close guy friends" and i am still friends with loads of my ex's because life is just too short to hold grudges. i dont fancy my guys friends, they just make me feel safe when we go out. i think if you feel that insecure then you have probably got a guilty conscious for something. has she ever given you a reason not to trust her? or are you just presuming that all girls with guy friends are sluts..? if so it is really offensive and you might wanna rethink how you see girls.
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    I would hope so.
    But then, i'd probably get rivalrous if he had a close, sexy female friend.
    Hypocrisy is awesome.
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    I had a few very close male friends at Uni and spent a lot of time with one of them but I never considered him in any way other than friends.
 
 
 
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