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Girls; what is you mentality when 'going out'? watch

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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    That's ********, dog. Their sex doesn't plummet when married; sex just gets routine and monotonous, then women cheat/have affairs.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4790313.stm

    The guy's doesn't go down at all though.
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    If I'm one of most guys as the laws of probability deem me, either you have got my mentality completly wrong or my subconcious operates to an obtuse degree
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    Attention seeking/validation seeking girl then? I don't care what girls SAY, they can deny all they want that they 'don't want sex' but it's rarely the truth. Just admit that you won't admit it because you fear being labelled a 'slut'.

    And I would be willing to bet that if you met the RIGHT guy, one who stood out from all the usual drunken idiots, who was friendly, confident, charming and who turned you on, then this idea that you 'don't want sex' would go straight out the window....

    Sorry, but I've been around women long enough to know what the real truth is.
    You know... I ask myself: If girls don't want to be approached during a night-out, when do they want to be approached? During a lecture? Please :rolleyes:

    I can't look through it. :woo:
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    Exactly mate. Girls spend HOURS choosing outfits, getting ready, doing their hair, putting on makeup etc etc. They want to be noticed for their efforts, and they want to be approached on nights out.

    The reality is, girls desire sex just as much as men, but they just won't admit it. Don't believe any girl who says otherwise, it's just a fascade they put up because they don't want to appear a 'slut' in the eyes of society.
    nope, i like looking nice because it feels good to look nice
    i go clubbing to dance
    i like being approached and having a good old dance with someone, but as soon as he's trying to put his face on mine, i go back to my friends.

    ....... explain that please?
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    (Original post by patientology)
    You know... I ask myself: If girls don't want to be approached during a night-out, when do they want to be approached? During a lecture? Please :rolleyes:

    I can't look through it. :woo:

    They DO want to be approached on a night out, they just won't admit it. They just don't want to be approached by typical drunken idiots, but rather by a guy who knows what he's doing.
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    (Original post by patientology)
    You know... I ask myself: If girls don't want to be approached during a night-out, when do they want to be approached? During a lecture? Please :rolleyes:

    I can't look through it. :woo:
    better a lecture than a night out :bigsmile:
    i personally don't think nights out are much of a romantic setting and i'm quite into my romance lol
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    (Original post by arabie)
    nope, i like looking nice because it feels good to look nice
    i go clubbing to dance
    i like being approached and having a good old dance with someone, but as soon as he's trying to put his face on mine, i go back to my friends.

    ....... explain that please?
    Well if a guy tries to 'put his face on you' straight after meeting you then he's obviously a typical drunken idiot and I can understand.

    Again, most guys in clubs are CLUELESS about how to properly approach girls. I'd wager that if you were to meet a really great guy, who was friendly and who turned you on, you wouldn't be so eager to 'go back to your friends'.

    I think, to be honest, that the 'disgust' girls have towards men in this post is because girls are used to being approached by drunken ********s. If I was a girl, I'd probably reject most these guys too.

    You just haven't been approached by a decent enough guy yet, none of the guys who approach you hold your attention.
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    To get dressed up and dance to music and have fun with my friends. I never have, nor will, kiss/go further with someone I met in a bar/club.
    • #4
    #4

    It depends on what kind of night it is.

    Gig - go for the music, get drunk, conversation, meeting people is a plus

    Proper night, good DJs - get as ****** as possible, maybe take some drugs, rave, meeting people is a plus

    ****** typical 'clubbing' night -

    either: have stupid drunken fun with the group that you're there with, laugh at all the desperate losers and horrible music, swindle drinks off desperate men

    or: meet people, flirt, chat, maybe hook up

    With all of these nights getting with someone so long as they're fun/fit is a plus, and I guess an aim if not a primary aim.

    I'd rather get with someone in the club, have a cheeky grope and get their number and hopefully a re-match then sleep with them that night. That isn't to say I haven't done it, and now and again it can be exciting.

    I think it's because firstly, being ****** can lead to serious goggles and waking up next to someone can be seriously grim and awkward.

    Secondly, I don't go for any of this 'emotional connection' ******** but I generally find the first time you sleep with someone is pretty ungratifying. And chances are those kind of things are going to be a one-off. From that angle, it's not really that worth it. Better to see someone for a bit and sleep with them more than once and get to know them physically so that even if it is a raw physical need (and why the **** not, I agree with some of the boys here that girls do want/need sex and affection) then it's more gratifying then some clumsy ******-up fumble
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    Well if a guy tries to 'put his face on you' straight after meeting you then he's obviously a typical drunken idiot and I can understand.

    Again, most guys in clubs are CLUELESS about how to properly approach girls. I'd wager that if you were to meet a really great guy, who was friendly and who turned you on, you wouldn't be so eager to 'go back to your friends'.

    I think, to be honest, that the 'disgust' girls have towards men in this post is because girls are used to being approached by drunken ********s. If I was a girl, I'd probably reject most these guys too.

    You just haven't been approached by a decent enough guy yet, none of the guys who approach you hold your attention.
    i see what you're saying, but i don't see myself ever getting with a guy on a night out, maybe i'm being closed minded but it's just not something i want to do when i go out, i really do go just to dance.. i can't imagine what a guy could do or say on a night out that would make me feel differently; he's on a night out, sees a girl and he approaches her. i very much doubt he's seen her and thought 'that's the girl of my dreams, i want to get to know her'
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    (Original post by arabie)
    i see what you're saying, but i don't see myself ever getting with a guy on a night out, maybe i'm being closed minded but it's just not something i want to do when i go out, i really do go just to dance.. i can't imagine what a guy could do or say on a night out that would make me feel differently; he's on a night out, sees a girl and he approaches her. i very much doubt he's seen her and thought 'that's the girl of my dreams, i want to get to know her'
    There's nothing wrong with not wanting to meet guys on a night out, if you are genuine about that.

    I can't speak for all men, but what makes ME stand out from other men is that I am really honest with women I'm attracted to. I've walked up to girls in a clubs before and tell them I think they're one of the best looking/best dressed girls in the club and that I'd love to get to know her. I introduce myself and shake their hand, and then talk for a bit. I don't try to impress women, instead I get to know them and this is the difference.

    I also hold eye contact right from the start and I put my arm lightly round their waist or on the small of their back....not in a creepy or leery way, but by touching them from the beginning it breaks the barriers down and they feel more relaxed with me.

    I've seen girls literally 'melt' and be lost for words after this, because they aren't used to men approaching them by being honest and sincere. They are use to men who are full of **** and who act weird around them. So when I approach by being myself and being really friendly and sincere, I rarely get outright rejected, and usually have a really nice conversation with the girl, even if she ultimately decides she isn't interested.

    Do you never look at any of the guys in the club and think 'he's hot' etc? I find it hard to believe that a girl could go on a night out and not eye up any of the guys in the club and not be even remotely attracted to them, unless she's a lesbian or asexual.

    Also, how do you usually get approached....i.e. what sort of things to men say/do when they approach you? I bet you've never been approached by someone who is sincere and honest and normal.

    I can fully understand why girls are frustrated by men today. The competition really is poor.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    There's nothing wrong with not wanting to meet guys on a night out, if you are genuine about that.

    I can't speak for all men, but what makes ME stand out from other men is that I am really honest with women I'm attracted to. I've walked up to girls in a clubs before and tell them I think they're one of the best looking/best dressed girls in the club and that I'd love to get to know her. I introduce myself and shake their hand, and then talk for a bit. I don't try to impress women, instead I get to know them and this is the difference.

    I also hold eye contact right from the start and I put my arm lightly round their waist or on the small of their back....not in a creepy or leery way, but by touching them from the beginning it breaks the barriers down and they feel more relaxed with me.

    I've seen girls literally 'melt' and be lost for words after this, because they aren't used to men approaching them by being honest and sincere. They are use to men who are full of **** and who act weird around them. So when I approach by being myself and being really friendly and sincere, I rarely get outright rejected, and usually have a really nice conversation with the girl, even if she ultimately decides she isn't interested.

    Do you never look at any of the guys in the club and think 'he's hot' etc? I find it hard to believe that a girl could go on a night out and not eye up any of the guys in the club and not be even remotely attracted to them, unless she's a lesbian or asexual.

    Also, how do you usually get approached....i.e. what sort of things to men say/do when they approach you? I bet you've never been approached by someone who is sincere and honest and normal.

    I can fully understand why girls are frustrated by men today. The competition really is poor.
    Pics or GTFO
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    There's nothing wrong with not wanting to meet guys on a night out, if you are genuine about that.

    I can't speak for all men, but what makes ME stand out from other men is that I am really honest with women I'm attracted to. I've walked up to girls in a clubs before and tell them I think they're one of the best looking/best dressed girls in the club and that I'd love to get to know her. I introduce myself and shake their hand, and then talk for a bit. I don't try to impress women, instead I get to know them and this is the difference.

    I also hold eye contact right from the start and I put my arm lightly round their waist or on the small of their back....not in a creepy or leery way, but by touching them from the beginning it breaks the barriers down and they feel more relaxed with me.

    I've seen girls literally 'melt' and be lost for words after this, because they aren't used to men approaching them by being honest and sincere. They are use to men who are full of **** and who act weird around them. So when I approach by being myself and being really friendly and sincere, I rarely get outright rejected, and usually have a really nice conversation with the girl, even if she ultimately decides she isn't interested.

    Do you never look at any of the guys in the club and think 'he's hot' etc? I find it hard to believe that a girl could go on a night out and not eye up any of the guys in the club and not be even remotely attracted to them, unless she's a lesbian or asexual.

    Also, how do you usually get approached....i.e. what sort of things to men say/do when they approach you? I bet you've never been approached by someone who is sincere and honest and normal.

    I can fully understand why girls are frustrated by men today. The competition really is poor.
    yeah i do see hot guys in clubs sometimes but it's the same as when i'm driving in my car and drive past a hot driver, i just acknowledge it and forget about it a minute later

    what will happen? he might approach me then eventually try and kiss me. OR yeah, he might just chat.. but lol i'm just not out to chat or meet the love of my life, the music's too loud. i simply want to dance, which is why i'm perfectly fine with another guy just dancing with me, it's fun :proud:
    • #5
    #5

    I go to be social with my friends, not to be stared at by scores of men trying to get in my pants. We had to leave a club early last night cos we were literally surrounded by leering, staring guys. I am in a relationship and I have the right to enjoy a night with my friends without fear of sexual assault or abject humiliation. I am a human being, not a f***ing tourist attraction.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I go to be social with my friends, not to be stared at by scores of men trying to get in my pants. We had to leave a club early last night cos we were literally surrounded by leering, staring guys. I am in a relationship and I have the right to enjoy a night with my friends without fear of sexual assault or abject humiliation. I am a human being, not a f***ing tourist attraction.
    If you don't want men to look at you or get attracted to you, then you shouldn't dress up and you shouldn't go out to clubs. Just stay at home. Don't bother going out. Sorry, but you don't live in reality if you expect to go out and NOT be looked at. This is just a ridiculous post.
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    You certainly don't...not from my experience anyway. Many girls who frequent clubs are easy to pull, especially when they've had a few drinks.

    And there's no need to get so bitter and angry about it, like you have in your replies here. You act like it's 'wrong to like sex' or like you have hangups about it or something, or that it's wrong for a guy to go to a club looking for a girl to have sex with.

    I make NO APOLOGIES for my desires as a man and I make NO APOLOGIES for approaching girls on nights out to look for sex.... and I have the utmost respect if a girl is not interested too, it's fair enough.

    It's 2010, not the dark ages....people need to start seeing sex for what it REALLY is, i.e. a normal, natural human need and nothing to be ashamed of etc.

    Girls need to stop pretending they're 'not looking for it', and need to stop looking down at men for being so open about it. It's reality people, get used to it....
    this guy should write a book, hes the second coming of stiffler all hail... i mean it seriously
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    Personally I dont go out. And if I did it would be to have a couple of drinks - not to the point where you get drunk, cos its stupid and pathertic. And have a laugh with my friend.. (:
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    (Original post by Arnotts)
    Well personally speaking yes I do want to be desired, and yes I do want guys looking but NO I dont want to have sex with them. I truly genuinely dont. Wanting to be desired is completely different to actually wanting sex. Maybe its not for guys, but it is for girls.

    This, in a nutshell. I liiiiike feeling sexy :sexface:


    ...but if 36 year old Jim who lives with his mum gets grabby, then it's time to leave.
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    They DO want to be approached on a night out, they just won't admit it. They just don't want to be approached by typical drunken idiots, but rather by a guy who knows what he's doing.
    I really think you're not listening to what girls on this forum are saying to you. Girls like to be admired, guys like to be admired, everyone likes to be bloody admired.
    Who are we not admitting it to? We would admit it to you, becuase we don't know you and will probably never meet you or even contact you again in our lives. And we admit it to our friends, something you seem not to understand. I have friends with low sex drives and friends with high sex drives and we all discuss and joke about sex. You underestimate the closeness of female friends by thinking that we are all so fake.
    Sppeaking of which, we spend so long getting ready because it's fun! Wine, friends, music and comparing dresses. Putting our own mark on things, creating a look. And hey, if you look good you feel good and you'll get compliments.
    You'll know if a girls out for sex because she'll make it pretty damn clear she's out for sex. But most girls sincerely are not. If I guy's nice it'd be fantastic to get his number and a promise of a call, but it can just ruin the night if a guy latches on, after something.
    We go out for a good night with mates, a dance and laughs. Guys play golf, snooker and such for a good time with mates, girls dress up and dance.
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    (Original post by ~Kat~)
    I really think you're not listening to what girls on this forum are saying to you. Girls like to be admired, guys like to be admired, everyone likes to be bloody admired.
    Who are we not admitting it to? We would admit it to you, becuase we don't know you and will probably never meet you or even contact you again in our lives. And we admit it to our friends, something you seem not to understand. I have friends with low sex drives and friends with high sex drives and we all discuss and joke about sex. You underestimate the closeness of female friends by thinking that we are all so fake.
    Sppeaking of which, we spend so long getting ready because it's fun! Wine, friends, music and comparing dresses. Putting our own mark on things, creating a look. And hey, if you look good you feel good and you'll get compliments.
    You'll know if a girls out for sex because she'll make it pretty damn clear she's out for sex. But most girls sincerely are not. If I guy's nice it'd be fantastic to get his number and a promise of a call, but it can just ruin the night if a guy latches on, after something.
    We go out for a good night with mates, a dance and laughs. Guys play golf, snooker and such for a good time with mates, girls dress up and dance.
    What the majority of girls are saying here doesn't correlate with my own personal experiences at all. I've found clubs to be good places to pull, and this idea that girls don't want to be approached or chatted up is nonsense. I haven't found this at all.

    If 'girls don't go out to pull', how do you explain my own personal experiences? Was it all a fluke?

    Sure, only a small percentage will be willing to go home with a guy the same night as meeting him. I acknowledge this. But usually if a girl doesn't want to go home with me the same night I meet her, we end up exchanging numbers and meeting up at a later date.

    Are you actually saying 'girls don't go out to pull', or rather 'most girls don't have one night stands'? You've got a point about the one night stands...they're harder to get. But not impossible.

    From my experience, I can say in the average UK club, there is always SOMEONE (female) who is horny and looking for one night stand. She might be 'in estrous', in other words 'in heat' or hornier due to where she is in her cycle and therefore more susceptible to be picked up for same night lay. All a guy has to do is approach her and not say/do anything too stupid and she is his.

    Then there are the other vast majority of girls in the club, who are there for a night out, who will talk to me and have a nice conversation and the odds are we end up exchanging numbers and end up meeting up for coffee at a future date. These girls are generally interested in me, but not up for a one night stand, which I respect and that is why I exchange numbers with them and see them another time. Some of this group of girls may be taken or simply not interested in exchanging numbers, and this is fine also, I respect that but still enjoy meeting them.

    There then is that small percentage of girls who will reject EVERY guy who approaches them, though I've rarely found this. If I encounter a rude girl or someone who just isn't interested AT ALL, then I leave them alone and move onto another girl. These girls are rare, though. The way I approach women, I rarely get told to '**** off' etc. I usually get smiles and blushes, etc and starting a conversation from there is easy as pie. In fact most of the bad responses I've had in nightclub have been from jealous friends and not the girl who I actually approach, and this makes sense because women are jealous as hell when a guy approaches her friend and not them!

    So I can't really conclude that 'girls go out to dress up and lap up attention, but they aren't interested in pulling'. Sorry but I've found the opposite to be true.

    Maybe it's just me, but I am very comfortable approaching and talking to people, and perhaps this is why things are the way they are for ME.

    I don't care whether a girl 'came out to pull or not'; most girls I talk to I end up having a solid interaction with, so what does it matter WHY they came out? If I end up taking one home or getting her number, then who cares WHY she came out.

    I reckon I could walk into any average UK nightclub and pull this off and my experiences would be similar. Sorry, I don't want to sound big-headed or like I'm bragging (that was NOT my intention at all)...I'm merely explaining to you that this idea that girls 'don't want to pull guys' is not true at all. Maybe they don't want to pull a drunken ********, but if you are a guy who understands how to properly approach women, then things are different.
 
 
 
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