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I have no friends on my course watch

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    I finished 1st year and made no friends on my course. I spoke to the odd person here and there but they were one off sentences or questions like 'is the assignment in for so and so date?'.

    I skipped lots and lots of lectures and classes in my second and third term (to give an idea, I went to 10% of lectures and 40% of classes in my second term and nothing in my third term). This was because I was lonely after my first term. Seeing other people being friends, knowing people knew I was the loner, got me so depressed and at points I wanted to kill myself.

    I will go back and it will be exactly the same - the people on your course don't change. I'll never make friends on my course and I'll skip things again and fail in the year that counts.

    please do not say 'you are there to learn, who cares about friends in lectures'. that mentality only makes people ***** about me as being the loner, the failure and gets me depressed. if I don't have friends at university, I don't see why I should bother going.
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    Are you short by any chance?
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    Give it a chance, I honestly thought everyone in my year group bar about 2 were d***heads during first year. Now I actually like about 70-80% of them.
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    I hated pretty much everyone in my first year, I never spoke to most people because I thought they were idiots. I made about 4 or 5 friends out of over a 100 people in my classes.


    Dont let it get to you, I stopped going in in my second year because I didnt have anybody to talk to. And it really affected my grades, I really regret not going in.

    During my third year we had a few foreign exchange students, I made a new friend on the first day of teh third year, and went into uni almost every lecture, as opposed to almost none in the second year, my grades were better and I had more fun, I started to make a few more friends, but not alot, and now theyve all gone back home or to other unis or whereever and I pretty much talk to nobody again.

    You really need to go to uni and stop caring about what others think of you, because when you finished it probably aint gonna matter who you spoke to there but it will matter what grade you got. And if you go in more your more likely to meet people :P
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    (Original post by Ghost of Hxx)
    Are you short by any chance?
    Ha!
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    there's always more than one loner on a course... go and find another loner and befriend them, even if they are foreign and dont speak much english
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    (Original post by che666)
    there's always more than one loner on a course... go and find another loner and befriend them, even if they are foreign and dont speak much english

    This
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    (Original post by SamCamp)
    You really need to go to uni and stop caring about what others think of you, because when you finished it probably aint gonna matter who you spoke to there but it will matter what grade you got. And if you go in more your more likely to meet people :P
    I agree that the grades are the important thing, but, and not trying to belittle your experiences, the guy is probably finding getting good grades pretty difficult when he's feeling so ****. Studying 100% of the time is not possible, people need social interaction, it's part of what makes us human. The grades are important but having a social life is very important as well, it can make achieving the grades you want a lot easier.

    My experiences at uni every year are pretty similar to his, I try so hard in the first term but it never pays off and continuing to go to lectures where you get to feel like total **** for an hour isn't exactly easy in the 2nd term. It's great that you manage it but I really think that social experiences are vital as well, I can really see where the OP is coming from.


    Anyway OP, yeah it's ******* horrible, have you tried joining societies? The people on your course probably won't change I agree with you there but that doesn't mean you can't make friends elsewhere. If you can make friends in sports or other societies then you'll have things to think about whilst you're sitting in the lectures on your own. I reckon that might really help you to find the motivation to attend the lectures - of course they won't be pleasant but if you have other friends then you know that after the unpleasantness of lectures you can do something cool with other people. If it's all unpleasantness then there's no motivation and you're just going to hate your second year too.
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    Dont wanna sound harsh but it doesnt really seem like you tried, i have jsut started college and have spoken to pretty much everyone in all my classes, doesnt take a lot to make the effort, dont wait for them to come to you, go to them, add them on facebook or whatever, maybe comment on there wall, pictures etc and engage in a conversation that way, then when you go to class you will be able to say hi and conversation should come.
    Just try, for your own sake, they dont sound like horrible people if they all have friends and talk to each other then its not them that have the issue.
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    OP i do sympathise its not nice when you feel like everyone else around you has made friends and you're there feeling alone. I know this doesnt help you but it is a relief to me to hear about other ppl who are having similar thoughts and experiences out there, maybe you can find some small comfort in that too, that theres others out there who know how you feel. Ive just started uni and i havnt yet found a group of friends who i click with (tho it is still v early days yet), but there are just so many ppl at uni its pretty overwhelming. esp if you're like me and not wildly extrovert. im going to try and make myself join some societies as thats what everyone says is a good way of meeting more ppl. are there any you might be interested in? maybe you could just start off with one or two? im so sorry you've felt suicidal, but please do not kill yourself as there is so much more life beyond uni which you cant possibly imagine atm and things do change over time. thats what i keep reminding myself. I know it seems real hard and if you ever feel lonely or want to chat to someone you can always pm me or someone else on here. its often helpful to discuss how you're feeling with ppl just so you dont feel completely alone.
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    I just wrote 2 huge paragraph explaining me being a loner in 6th form and how I overcame it in University but then I accidently closed the page >_<!!

    So I’m going to say that my main advice is to put yourself out there, I left 6th form with no friends full stop because I was ill all the time.
    How I made friends in 1st year was to come extra early to all tutorial /seminars classes so I was always the first person inside then as soon as the first person walks in I’ll greet them and start a conversation with them. Then the next day I’ll come early but not too early and if I see them I start a conversation again then sit next to them (Pick people who aren't in big groups already).
    Since you’re in second year I believe this approach can still work, you just have to be friendly. I’m still quite the loner to be honest even though I have friends I still feel like a loner at heart if that makes sense? Check my other threads and you’ll see.
    If you need someone to talk to you can pm me
 
 
 
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