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I am so shy and unconfident :( watch

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    I feel inferior to most people. I can't let myself go. I go all tongue tied in social situations. I can't engage in witty banter. I can't flirt confidently. I can't think on my feet. I can't relax. I am a girl btw... I hate the way I am and wish things could change. I am fine around certain people but mostly intimated by guys, over confident people or intellectuals..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel inferior to most people. I can't let myself go. I go all tongue tied in social situations. I can't engage in witty banter. I can't flirt confidently. I can't think on my feet. I can't relax. I am a girl btw... I hate the way I am and wish things could change. I am fine around certain people but mostly intimated by guys, over confident people or intellectuals..
    Aww I'm similar but have found that you just have to take 'risks' and do stuff you wouldn't normally do. I also found that joining a football team has helped. Maybe you could try joining something?
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    millions of people have this same problem..

    all i can say to solve it is, do things out of your comfort zone like speaking in public drama ect.

    thats the only way. forget doing mental exercises or saying in the mirror i am confident. all that is bullocks.

    the only way to become more confident is to get out there and get yourself in social situations again and again and again and again and again

    it will break down the barriers you have and you will not regret it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel inferior to most people. I can't let myself go. I go all tongue tied in social situations. I can't engage in witty banter. I can't flirt confidently. I can't think on my feet. I can't relax. I am a girl btw... I hate the way I am and wish things could change. I am fine around certain people but mostly intimated by guys, over confident people or intellectuals..
    I can sympathise. :console: :hugs:

    Don't worry, confidence does come with age and experience. I'm a lot more confident and secure now than I was a few years ago. It's just something that takes time, that's all. :yep:
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    I totally know your feeling, so don't worry. Recently I went on a music course where I met so many like minded people, who were inclusive and very easy to talk to. Don't feel you have to be the funniest, or quirkiest. Saying 'be yourself' probably won't help, because personally I don't beleive anyone is really truly themselves around friends, unless they are really close and have known each other for a long time. Join a group if you have a certain interest, and you'll be more likely to meet like-minded people. Hope things improve!
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    Yeah, it can be really tough having low confidence and it can be a hard thing to get out of. A few years ago I was just like you, but through taking tiny,little steps I managed to grow in confidence. Try joining a new club, especially something that forces you to be interactive with other people like drama or dance. It's really hard at first, but gradually you'll begin to see the changes in yourself.
    I found that getting a job in a cafe really helped as well - i was constantly meeting new people and working as part of a team, which was terrifying at first, but i soon relaxed and became used to it with practise.
    Also, don't let yourself think negative and degrading thoughts - try and train yourself to think only positive things - you're a great and unique person and you need to believe that. Good luck!
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    yo babeh babeh baheh! *trying not to sing* i no how your feeling right now, i used to be a lot like you until i got recognised..... be yourself and everyone will like you i bet. i guess your quite shy but i like shy girls your so cute...... i will always love you, always. (Y)
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    I'm similar to you OP :console: Perhaps try taking a step out of your comfort zone - join a club and meet new people?
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    I'm similar, gets to the point where my eyes start watering Uncontrolably when I'm around large crowds etc...
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    (Original post by Justin Bieber)
    yo babeh babeh baheh! *trying not to sing* i no how your feeling right now, i used to be a lot like you until i got recognised..... be yourself and everyone will like you i bet. i guess your quite shy but i like shy girls your so cute...... i will always love you, always. (Y)
    Oh dear Lord.
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    (Original post by TotalLifeForever)
    Oh dear Lord.
    Agreed.
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    Anyway, I used to have real bad confidence problems. But with practice comes increased confidence, don't worry about it. I thought it would never get better...but it will!
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    (Original post by fishy466)
    millions of people have this same problem..

    all i can say to solve it is, do things out of your comfort zone like speaking in public drama ect.

    thats the only way. forget doing mental exercises or saying in the mirror i am confident. all that is bullocks.

    the only way to become more confident is to get out there and get yourself in social situations again and again and again and again and again

    it will break down the barriers you have and you will not regret it.
    This
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    I've been battling this for years, still a big problem, but I've made massive leaps recently. I'm not like it with everyone (I'm often quite mumbly and quiet with people I look up to) but I've been told I have a very confident air about me recently, and I've found my self being able to actually talk to people ok.

    Every time I pull off a conversation, however small... I feel a rush, the feeling of "I can do it!"

    Just keep at it, practise really does make perfect.
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    So many talented people appear shy and unconfident. In some cases it's because they, quite rightly, think before speaking and they can't bring themselves to engage in the shallow discourses and false bravado that many people do.

    Some people infallibly confident in their own abilities are only clever in the sense that their confidence will probably attract some other quite shallow people. If they have talent to back that up that's another question but talent is relative too.

    Shyness can be a strength, a reality check that nearly nobody is all that important, except to the people that they have handily made dependent on them. Unfortunately it can be a hinderance in terms of forming relationships but if someone is truly confident they should make friends with unconfident people anyway.
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    Go against the side of you that is talking you into being shy. So really, it's not about you and them, it's about you battling against yourself by doing the opposite of what your shy and unconfident side tells you. Make it like an automatic response.
    This way, you're still in the company of yourself, and you come across as a confident person.
    Then you can find a transition from 'battling against yourself' to just being that confident person.

    If you go to a boxing match, and actually respect yourself enough that you don't want to get hit. But you're in the boxing ring and you're against someone, so just take the positive approach only and repress the negative. Be steadfast to the positive.
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    Me too, I know exactly how you feel. I just posted a thread kinda like this.
    It really gets me down
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    (Original post by Justin Bieber)
    yo babeh babeh baheh! *trying not to sing* i no how your feeling right now, i used to be a lot like you until i got recognised..... be yourself and everyone will like you i bet. i guess your quite shy but i like shy girls your so cute...... i will always love you, always. (Y)
    WTF. i cringed.

    op it's all been said - get out there and find something to take up and be passionate about
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    (Original post by Introverted moron)
    I can sympathise. :console: :hugs:

    Don't worry, confidence does come with age and experience. I'm a lot more confident and secure now than I was a few years ago. It's just something that takes time, that's all. :yep:
    Confidence doesn't magically come when you get older. On your birthday you don't suddenly get a massive confidence boost and then go talk to everyone (well you might if you get really drunk). It takes work to change things, sitting back and expecting it to happen just through the process of aging isn't going to help at all (probably make things worse actually....).
 
 
 
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