Turn on thread page Beta

Help- tutor made a pass at me watch

    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    eh... blackmail that mother ******!! Thats a module passed.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    What are all these comments about needing proof?

    Since when was that ever the case, it is the university's responsibility to investigate any allegations against members of staff especially when it is in regard to abuse of power in positions of trust.
    Sure, he may not get sacked, but then this should not necessarily be the case anyway, but without a shadow of a doubt something would be said to him by his seniors.

    If you are not the kind of person to have strong words with him and put him in his place OP, then I would definitely report it to someone higher up and let them deal with it. He should be responsible for his actions and won't be unless he realises the potential consequences i.e. potentially losing his cushy job!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    The OP doesn't know where he had his drink. She just knows he smelt of alcohol. She probably wanted to give more insight into the situation. My discussion of the pub was just to highlight that university lecturers can have a drink during the day. A lot of it would depend on that particular university's policy. I worked in the NHS for three years, my first job did not allow drinking even during pub lunches and yet my second job for a different trust allowed one drink. It was all to do with the policy within that trust.

    No, you are thinking about the situation from a rigid perspective based on your character and personality. Just remember people have different characters and personalities, they will also be motivated by different things, therefore will also behave n different ways. It's short sighted to use yourself as a benchmark as to how people are likely to behave. Also I used the bell curve as an example because it's irrelevant whether it's Emotional Intelligence or logic. The fact is that people behave differently based on their logic, intelligence, personality, character you name it.

    He also probably would capitalise on the fact that the OP was alone and unprepared. What proof does she have that he tried it on? Absolutely zero. Would he have tried it on if she was with someone else? I think not. Since he didn't get a positive response from the OP, would he risk doing it again? probably not, why? because she might actually be prepared to set him up this time.
    You really are stubborn...

    You've been trolled. Deal with it.

    And yes it's her word against his, but that doesn't mean he'd do it. A man doesn't walk up a random woman and stick his tongue down her throat if nobody is around on the basis that 'it's her word against mine'. This tutor has much more to lose. An allegation like that would be a huge blemish on his record, even if nothing came of it.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sithius)
    You really are stubborn...

    You've been trolled. Deal with it.

    And yes it's her word against his, but that doesn't mean he'd do it. A man doesn't walk up a random woman and stick his tongue down her throat if nobody is around on the basis that 'it's her word against mine'. This tutor has much more to lose. An allegation like that would be a huge blemish on his record, even if nothing came of it.
    Listen mate, you are the stubborn here and quite foolish too. It's funny how you are the only one who has believed this to be a troll.

    It's not my fault that in that little world of yours with pink and blue mountains and elephants you can't seem to comprehend that there are professionals who act unprofessionally. If it was not the case, no sex discrimination cases would ever be in court and women would never win. Any professional can take that risk, I had a girl from my first degree dating a lecturer during our second year and today they are married.

    It's also not my fault you've never had a person in authority such as a lecturer try it on with you or friends who have been through that experience.

    Bold bit- stop adding salt to the OP's post. She never said he stuck his tongue down her throat. She said he tried to kiss her and did not give details on the type of kiss.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    Listen mate, you are the stubborn here and quite foolish too. It's funny how you are the only one who has believed this to be a troll.

    It's not my fault that in that little world of yours with pink and blue mountains and elephants you can't seem to comprehend that there are professionals who act unprofessionally. If it was not the case, no sex discrimination cases would ever be in court and women would never win. Any professional can take that risk, I had a girl from my first degree dating a lecturer during our second year and today they are married.

    It's also not my fault you've never had a person in authority such as a lecturer try it on with you or friends who have been through that experience.

    Bold bit- stop adding salt to the OP's post. She never said he stuck his tongue down her throat. She said he tried to kiss her and did not give details on the type of kiss.
    Lulz.

    I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it probably does (albeit very rarely). But the OP's specific situation/post is just screaming troll.

    Oh well, I'm not the one being fooled here. Have fun. :p:
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sithius)
    Lulz.

    I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it probably does (albeit very rarely). But the OP's specific situation/post is just screaming troll.

    Oh well, I'm not the one being fooled here. Have fun. :p:
    I shan't labour on this any longer but I'd like to draw your attention to the very first thing you said

    (Original post by Sithius)
    Not really. No one in that position, even completely rat arsed, would be stupid enough to pretty much commit career suicide like that.
    The point is, it does happen and young attractive lecturers are the ones that get away with it. It's very naive to assume it doesn't.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    I shan't labour on this any longer but I'd like to draw your attention to the very first thing you said



    The point is, it does happen and young attractive lecturers are the ones that get away with it. It's very naive to assume it doesn't.
    Position as in their office during a meeting, genius. :rolleyes:
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sithius)
    Position as in their office during a meeting, genius. :rolleyes:
    I don't understand what you are saying here.

    If you are saying a lecturer would never try it on with a student during a meeting in his office then News Flash! it has happened before .
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sithius)
    Position as in their office during a meeting, genius. :rolleyes:
    Just accept that you were naive to assume that every male behaves the same way you may do i.e. with principles and professionally.
    Also accept that in the real world some people abuse their power and authority. :rolleyes:

    I pity such a naive outlook.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    Just accept that you were naive to assume that every male behaves the same way you may do i.e. with principles and professionally.
    Also accept that in the real world some people abuse their power and authority. :rolleyes:

    I pity such a naive outlook.
    Lol wtf? I never said that they do... What a strange girl you are.

    (Original post by babygirl110)
    I don't understand what you are saying here.

    If you are saying a lecturer would never try it on with a student during a meeting in his office then News Flash! it has happened before .
    I'm sure it has, but I bet the circumstances were different.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sithius)
    Lol wtf? I never said that they do... What a strange girl you are.



    I'm sure it has, but I bet the circumstances were different.
    Lol pot calling the kettle black much? Mate, you're the strange one here to assume that other people wouldn't do certain things i.e. risk their careers just because in your ideal world you wouldn't. In that little head of yours you don't understand that people are different and will behave in different ways.

    There is such a thing called empathy, it's important to have that quality where ever you go. Whether it's relationships, career and work. It's good to forget who you are for a second and put yourself in someone else's shoes that way you can almost make sense of their thoughts,feelings, attitudes and behaviour, you will be able to almost predict what they are likely to do. You'll also actually start to understand that there are some professionals who take inappropriate risks.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    Lol pot calling the kettle black much? Mate, you're the strange one here to assume that other people wouldn't do certain things i.e. risk their careers just because in your ideal world you wouldn't. In that little head of yours you don't understand that people are different and will behave in different ways.

    There is such a thing called empathy, it's important to have that quality where ever you go. Whether it's relationships, career and work. It's good to forget who you are for a second and put yourself in someone else's shoes that way you can almost make sense of their thoughts,feelings, attitudes and behaviour, you will be able to almost predict what they are likely to do. You'll also actually start to understand that there are some professionals who take inappropriate risks.
    Holy ****... please read before quoting.

    I never said professions aren't risked with foolish mistakes. The OP's story however is pure fabrication. Why do you have to force your opinion on me so much?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Sithius)
    Lulz.

    I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it probably does (albeit very rarely). But the OP's specific situation/post is just screaming troll.

    Oh well, I'm not the one being fooled here. Have fun. :p:
    This is one of the things I hate about this forum. You can come online genuinely asking for help and advice, and just because of some stupid individuals who might make it up, everyone else gets called a "troll", as if I have nothing better to do with my time.

    I actually wanted help. Unless you've been in this situation, you don't know how it feels. Even though nothing happened with him because I left the room sharp, I still felt violated. As though the person I was supposed to trust had let me down, and I seriously didn't know what I was going to do about it.

    Your post a bit further back about me saying he had "a drink" and how was I supposed to know how much he'd drunk.. I didn't? If you say you're going for "a drink", does that mean one drink? Or could it just as easily mean a few? Thought so. All that I meant was that I could tell he'd been drinking alcohol.


    (Original post by babygirl110)
    The point is, it does happen and young attractive lecturers are the ones that get away with it. It's very naive to assume it doesn't.
    Hey there,
    Thanks for standing up for me with the idiot above. At least most of the people on this forum are decent, but there are always the ones who have to be idiots about everything.


    To everyone who's suggested: I'm just going to leave it. At least when I'm in the seminar I won't be on my own with him. I don't know what I'm going to do when it comes to personal meetings, but I can cross that bridge when I come to it. I was thinking about insisting that our personal meetings are recorded on dictophone or something? Or maybe this is getting paranoid I just don't know anymore.

    Also everyone who's asked me what uni it is, there is a reason I went anon! There's no way I want anyone who knows me (and there are a lot on this forum) to find out about this, so this is a detail I'll keep to myself, for now.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is one of the things I hate about this forum. You can come online genuinely asking for help and advice, and just because of some stupid individuals who might make it up, everyone else gets called a "troll", as if I have nothing better to do with my time.

    I actually wanted help. Unless you've been in this situation, you don't know how it feels. Even though nothing happened with him because I left the room sharp, I still felt violated. As though the person I was supposed to trust had let me down, and I seriously didn't know what I was going to do about it.

    Your post a bit further back about me saying he had "a drink" and how was I supposed to know how much he'd drunk.. I didn't? If you say you're going for "a drink", does that mean one drink? Or could it just as easily mean a few? Thought so. All that I meant was that I could tell he'd been drinking alcohol.
    You go for a drink, you don't have a drink. Safe to say you are now backtracking but meh.

    Trollololl :troll:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think you're doing the right thing, we're all adults at uni and aside from the teacher/student relationship I bet a lot of guys make moves on you anyway. If you grass him up he would probably lose his job, ruin his career and if he has a family then that'll be gone too. Yes, maybe what he did was wrong, but wouldn't that be an inproportional punishment for something that happens 5739837 times every friday night.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sithius)
    Holy ****... please read before quoting.

    I never said professions aren't risked with foolish mistakes. The OP's story however is pure fabrication. Why do you have to force your opinion on me so much?
    Oh you know, you are actually really really thick. Can you read your very first post.

    My first post said something along the lines of it might not be a troll because these things do happen.

    You said something very forward and self assured about how no one would do such a thing, that would be committing career suicide blah blah.

    I'm not forcing my opinion on you, you are the one hell bent on trying to make people look gullible. In your ideal world and in the little head you can't imagine that people regarded highly as professionals would ever be inappropriate. Welcome to the real world love.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    All that I meant was that I could tell he'd been drinking alcohol.
    That's exactly how I interpreted it in your first post.

    Oh can you PM me your university? It's not something I will reveal.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    Oh you know, you are actually really really thick. Can you read your very first post.

    My first post said something along the lines of it might not be a troll because these things do happen.

    You said something very forward and self assured about how no one would do such a thing, that would be committing career suicide blah blah.

    I'm not forcing my opinion on you, you are the one hell bent on trying to make people look gullible. In your ideal world and in the little head you can't imagine that people regarded highly as professionals would ever be inappropriate. Welcome to the real world love.
    You call me stupid yet you repeatedly accuse me of something which I have expressly denied time and time again (see bold). Do not quote me again unless you have something remotely sensible to say.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sithius)
    You call me stupid yet you repeatedly accuse me of something which I have expressly denied time and time again (see bold). Do not quote me again unless you have something remotely sensible to say.
    If you actually care to reflect and look at your first post which was in response to the statement I made, you will actually stop denying what you said :rolleyes:.

    The bottom line is that you can be never certain of what people are likely to do and to insist that someone would never do something because blah blah is extremely short sighted.

    By the same token, don't quote me unless you have something sensible to say. You haven't made one sensible argument in your posts to be perfectly honest.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    If you actually care to reflect and look at your first post which was in response to the statement I made, you will actually stop denying what you said :rolleyes:.

    The bottom line is that you can be never certain of what people are likely to do and to insist that someone would never do something because blah blah is extremely short sighted.

    By the same token, don't quote me unless you have something sensible to say. You haven't made one sensible argument in your posts to be perfectly honest.
    Oh my bloody god. I said someone in that position, you know, aka the circumstances (tutor, office, meeting, all that stuff) so no, I did not agree with the hugely broad statement of 'no professionals ever act poorly'.

    You can be certain of some things. For example, I'm certain (obviously not 100% but no one can ever be 100%, let's say 98.9%) I can go outside my room and not be raped by my flatmate. A drastic example but it illustrates the point well nonetheless. I'm quite certain that the OP is a troll. Disagree? Fine. I couldn't care less.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 29, 2010
Poll
Which accompaniment is best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.