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I really hate my friends and my ex watch

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    This woman is beyond belief. Anon because family go through browsing history, I don't actually care if my ex or any of my "friends" see this, I just need advice.

    I'll be blunt; the relationship itself was short, and was not going to last (5 months, Hindu-Muslim) but it was fairly intense and I suppose we were close. Broke up around end of uni because:

    a) She had a guy staying in her halls while I was going out with her.
    b) I was a complete pushover and did everything for her - drove 10 miles down to the train station to pick her up, went half way across London to see her, but nothing was ever enough, and I just got sick of it and all the ********.

    This was during exams, through which I held all my friends' and my ex and her new boyfriend's hands and sat there and taught them the modules, thinking I'd be a nice person and help them out, thinking karma would appreciate it and reward me.

    Skip forward to after the holidays (4 months of no contact). Now, at uni (since we had mutual friends) she's now with the guy who stayed round her halls, got with him two weeks after she'd met him and let him stay at hers a week after she met him.

    I don't like to judge, but the man himself used to have a drug problem (from what he's told) and was classed as clinically insane for the first half of last year, and went through psychosis. He seems fine now though, and I've nothing against him; but of course, I was very worried at the time about this girl and what she was doing. I told her, of course, but she told me she'd be fine and I was just being paranoid. Now I think I probably was, and I was probably just being judgemental.

    Anyway, they've lasted 4-5 months. That's fine. I don't have anything against them - at uni, this year, I wanted to buckle down and do my work. Today, I got shouted at for apparently making things "awkward". I get an ultimatum, "Do you want to be my friend or not?" and having said "no", she stormed off to her mates. My only good mate told me that I was giving up my friends even though she's being like this, and told me to go in and not just 'give up' - and I did, and we're now playing happy families once again.

    I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the friends, all the pretenses, all the lying, all the drama, and all this goddamn "I'm here for you" ******** that people decide to feed you when they want you to stick around to take advantage of you.

    Bottom Line: How can I get rid of all these people on my course and just get on with my work?
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    If anyone actually reads all of that you're a loser and have to much time on your hands. OP, no one cares who you hate? Just get on with your life, ok. You're not the only one with problems.
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    (Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude)
    If anyone actually reads all of that you're a loser and have to much time on your hands. OP, no one cares who you hate? Just get on with your life, ok. You're not the only one with problems.
    Why waste your time posting when you could be doing something more productive with your life, like actively avoiding being a loser? Don't post anything if you don't have anything useful to contribute.
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    OP, why was her having a guy to stay a factor in your decision to break up with her? Is he a friend of hers?
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    (Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude)
    If anyone actually reads all of that you're a loser and have to much time on your hands. OP, no one cares who you hate? Just get on with your life, ok. You're not the only one with problems.
    Well, that wasn't very useful was it? Like the OP said, be helpful or don't bother.

    As for the OP, you helping everyone out was a good deed. Remember that. Don't feel bad about what has happened in the past. If it makes you feel bad right now and you are questioning your actions, don't do it in the future. It's no moral obligation for you to always help out and maybe they can repay the favour by helping you out this time. So don't worry; the good deed shall not go wasted.

    Your ex does sound crazy giving an ultimatum like that after so much time being out of contact. But the fact that she cares shows it bugs her and to some extent, she must be feeling really guilty. Try not to let this get in the way of your other friendships but obviously that's easier said than done. If these people aren't what you consider real friends, then act civil by all means and there's no need to act like an open book in front of them. That way, there is no way that you are the bad guy. But again, playing happy families.. it's just a bit meh if you don't see the connection with these people. In that case, just think if they're worth the hassle you know? There's two sides to it and I see both. On one hand, you do not want to just give up your friends and hand it all to her. Yet on the other, you don't know if these people are worth it as from your post, they don't sound all too sincere. Or maybe they just want to have a foot in each camp.

    Best bet is to just keep it casual with everyone. If they're half-decent, they'll feel ashamed at themselves for making you feel this way and still having you act nice and civil to them. You'll find new friends and uni does get progressively harder so you'll find that you won't have much time for all the social drama anyway. Keep your distance if you have to, joining them occasionally so it isn't like you are sidelining yourself.

    Bottom line: focus on the study, keep your distance when you feel uncomfortable and look to find good friends in other people that you may not have considered friendship material before.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why waste your time posting when you could be doing something more productive with your life, like actively avoiding being a loser? Don't post anything if you don't have anything useful to contribute.
    What could I possibly be doing at 10pm that's productive? I have no work.....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This woman is beyond belief. Anon because family go through browsing history, I don't actually care if my ex or any of my "friends" see this, I just need advice.

    I'll be blunt; the relationship itself was short, and was not going to last (5 months, Hindu-Muslim) but it was fairly intense and I suppose we were close. Broke up around end of uni because:

    a) She had a guy staying in her halls while I was going out with her.
    b) I was a complete pushover and did everything for her - drove 10 miles down to the train station to pick her up, went half way across London to see her, but nothing was ever enough, and I just got sick of it and all the ********.

    This was during exams, through which I held all my friends' and my ex and her new boyfriend's hands and sat there and taught them the modules, thinking I'd be a nice person and help them out, thinking karma would appreciate it and reward me.

    Skip forward to after the holidays (4 months of no contact). Now, at uni (since we had mutual friends) she's now with the guy who stayed round her halls, got with him two weeks after she'd met him and let him stay at hers a week after she met him.

    I don't like to judge, but the man himself used to have a drug problem (from what he's told) and was classed as clinically insane for the first half of last year, and went through psychosis. He seems fine now though, and I've nothing against him; but of course, I was very worried at the time about this girl and what she was doing. I told her, of course, but she told me she'd be fine and I was just being paranoid. Now I think I probably was, and I was probably just being judgemental.

    Anyway, they've lasted 4-5 months. That's fine. I don't have anything against them - at uni, this year, I wanted to buckle down and do my work. Today, I got shouted at for apparently making things "awkward". I get an ultimatum, "Do you want to be my friend or not?" and having said "no", she stormed off to her mates. My only good mate told me that I was giving up my friends even though she's being like this, and told me to go in and not just 'give up' - and I did, and we're now playing happy families once again.

    I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the friends, all the pretenses, all the lying, all the drama, and all this goddamn "I'm here for you" ******** that people decide to feed you when they want you to stick around to take advantage of you.

    Bottom Line: How can I get rid of all these people on my course and just get on with my work?
    move away from them...and ignore them when you come across them.....this is a more direct approach that I would take....goodluck
 
 
 
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