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Flatmates may secretly dislike me. What to do? watch

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    I think all but one hate me in secret. When ever they go out, there is always a girl who contacts me asking me if I want to come. But I think the rest may secretly dislike me. Because when the girl who normally calls me has other plans than going out with them, I never get told anything. If it wasnt for this one girl I am telling you about, I would never be able to get out of my room. They always leave me out :cry:.

    The only explanation is that maybe I am seen as 'the shy one'. Its true, I am shyer than them. But I seem to get along with quite well. Especially a couple of the girls who I seem to get on really well with (not including the one who actually contacts me about plans). I have all their numbers. But I just feel really singled out when they go out, with the exception of the first girl I told you about.

    What to do?
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    This was pretty much me in first year - I would get invited out if they passed me in the halls but wouldn't ever knock on my door and ask me to come out. They probably don't hate you, probably just not similar people, and they like you but don't consider you close. Find other friends too, that always ask you to come out You don't have to be bezzies with your flatmates!
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    get a life besides only this group.
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    That's pretty much the same situation I'm in.

    I'm pretty sure my flatmates don't like me. I never get invited out with them, nobody ever knocks on my door and unless I'm in the kitchen for a good amount of time I never hear about any plans to go out, and they never really make an effort to talk to me even though I pretty much bend over backwards to be nice 24/7. They all seem like the best of friends now, and I don't really fit in any where. There have been so many times this week that I've got back to my room and packed my bags ready to leave, I just don't want to yet because I do like my course.

    Just try and stick it out, you'll make friends on your course. I'm going to be joining some societies when I figure out how/where I'm meant to go to do it, and I think you should do the same

    If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me.
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    get drunk, knock on their doors and get em to come out into the corridor and watch your drunken antics so that they can accept you as a no longer shy and quiet person

    if you've already tried this and it hasn't worked, they sound really picky. you haven't met the right housemates
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    There's a difference between hating someone and not wanting to go out with them. Perhaps you're just quite different people?
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    I love the early term-related threads lol
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    That's pretty much the same situation I'm in.
    Damn that really does suck. I'm not in halls but thankfully it seems my friendliness and humour have paid off as a group have let me crash at their place two nights in a row and they've said whenever I want to, the doors open. A girl in a similar situation to you as hung around with this group most of the time so maybe you could try knocking on other flats and trying to find folk you click with?

    I've also made a separate group of friends from my course, though only from one induction and an optional trip today, our lectures don't start until next week.

    It really upsets/angers me when I read these sorts of threads. If I were in Halls I'd be watching like a Hawk for people in your situation. When we were signing up for events I noted one girl was totally on her own and seemed a tad nervous so I got talking to her, lost track of her so if I see her alone again I'll try and ensure there are no issues if there are spark up a friendship so she has someone. People shouldn't be alone, just because your flatmate isn't a drinker or hates clubbing and wants to stay in, doesn't mean you should be a prick, everyone is different, some people are so far up their own arses they think their way is the right way and anyone who doesn't follow them is a weirdo and shouldn't be isolated. /rant

    I hope for your sake your course mates are much nicer and obviously joining societies will help, despite the friendship network I have managed to form I'll still join 5 societies or so, the more the merrier and all that.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Damn that really does suck. I'm not in halls but thankfully it seems my friendliness and humour have paid off as a group have let me crash at their place two nights in a row and they've said whenever I want to, the doors open. A girl in a similar situation to you as hung around with this group most of the time so maybe you could try knocking on other flats and trying to find folk you click with?
    I think that's part of the problem to be honest. In the halls I'm in, it's split into different zones. If you're in 'red zone' you can't get into blue zone because the door has a security code, you can get through blue zone front door without a blue key etc. So We only have 5 floors we can access, with 3 or less flats per floor. On the floors above and below there are 4th year medics and internationals, and on the top floor there's 2nd year fashion students. None of which want to bother with all the freshers. Short of sitting outside the blue zone front door and pouncing on them as they come in or out, there's not much chance of me meeting any of them. And I don't even know if there's any freshers in there.

    On my floor there's two other flats with less people in. Flat 13 just don't want to know anyone else and only go out with each other and have never been around at all, and two guys from flat 14 practically live here but they're the same as my own flatmates.

    It's really **** and I just want to go home.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    I think that's part of the problem to be honest. In the halls I'm in, it's split into different zones. If you're in 'red zone' you can't get into blue zone because the door has a security code, you can get through blue zone front door without a blue key etc. So We only have 5 floors we can access, with 3 or less flats per floor. On the floors above and below there are 4th year medics and internationals, and on the top floor there's 2nd year fashion students. None of which want to bother with all the freshers. Short of sitting outside the blue zone front door and pouncing on them as they come in or out, there's not much chance of me meeting any of them. And I don't even know if there's any freshers in there.

    On my floor there's two other flats with less people in. Flat 13 just don't want to know anyone else and only go out with each other and have never been around at all, and two guys from flat 14 practically live here but they're the same as my own flatmates.

    It's really **** and I just want to go home.
    damn that's a tough hand. I wish people like you were in Notts. Even if it was Notts and not NTU I'd sort something out. I've already adopted a friend, she lives with our family now.... I still have a top bunk!

    Like I said it pisses me off big time, some people are so arrogant and plain nasty people. I think because I'm at a place with a Campus in the Country and everyone is doing animal courses...somehow animal lovers are more relaxed people.:confused: :yep:

    I'd at least stick it out for a month or so, see how making friends in lectures and societies especially pans out.
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    I found myself in a very similar situation when I started uni many moons ago. Firstly living in halls is difficult, universities just lump a bunch of you together and expect you all to get on which is (in my experience) impossible. The way I coped was to make friends outside of halls, largely people on my course as already there is common interest there and I also joined one or two clubs and societies and often found myself going out with these people, hanging out at their flats, or them coming to mine, going for coffee and lunch and so far. Just because you don't get on with people in your flat doesn't mean the end of the world nor does it mean you won't find anyone at the uni who you will get on with
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    damn that's a tough hand. I wish people like you were in Notts. Even if it was Notts and not NTU I'd sort something out. I've already adopted a friend, she lives with our family now.... I still have a top bunk!

    Like I said it pisses me off big time, some people are so arrogant and plain nasty people. I think because I'm at a place with a Campus in the Country and everyone is doing animal courses...somehow animal lovers are more relaxed people.:confused: :yep:

    I'd at least stick it out for a month or so, see how making friends in lectures and societies especially pans out.
    I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I get on fine with people in my lectures, I have a few friends on my course to hang out with on the massive breaks between classes. I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong at ''home.'' I make an effort to talk to them, I don't hog the bathroom and mess up the kitchen. I can't think of anything I've done to get shunned tbh.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Damn that really does suck. I'm not in halls but thankfully it seems my friendliness and humour have paid off as a group have let me crash at their place two nights in a row and they've said whenever I want to, the doors open. A girl in a similar situation to you as hung around with this group most of the time so maybe you could try knocking on other flats and trying to find folk you click with?

    I've also made a separate group of friends from my course, though only from one induction and an optional trip today, our lectures don't start until next week.

    It really upsets/angers me when I read these sorts of threads. If I were in Halls I'd be watching like a Hawk for people in your situation. When we were signing up for events I noted one girl was totally on her own and seemed a tad nervous so I got talking to her, lost track of her so if I see her alone again I'll try and ensure there are no issues if there are spark up a friendship so she has someone. People shouldn't be alone, just because your flatmate isn't a drinker or hates clubbing and wants to stay in, doesn't mean you should be a prick, everyone is different, some people are so far up their own arses they think their way is the right way and anyone who doesn't follow them is a weirdo and shouldn't be isolated. /rant
    I agree with you but I think you also have to realise that the vast majority of people are so worried about being liked/making friends themselves that it's very easy to overlook others who may be struggling. Also, a lot of people go in with the mentality that everyone at uni is going to be cool (even those who were popular at school) etc. so don't imagine anyone is going to be in a harder position than they are.

    You won't necessarily make your best friends in freshers week, I have so many mates who hated their flat/halls or whatever and then met great people later in the year and had a completely different friend group. Just be yourself, be outgoing and open to meeting people and you will find people who you click with. Sitting in your room and moping on TSR won't help.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I get on fine with people in my lectures, I have a few friends on my course to hang out with on the massive breaks between classes. I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong at ''home.'' I make an effort to talk to them, I don't hog the bathroom and mess up the kitchen. I can't think of anything I've done to get shunned tbh.
    Same. Got ignored again tonight and they all went out. Though I think I told you already via PM lol.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Damn that really does suck. I'm not in halls but thankfully it seems my friendliness and humour have paid off as a group have let me crash at their place two nights in a row and they've said whenever I want to, the doors open. A girl in a similar situation to you as hung around with this group most of the time so maybe you could try knocking on other flats and trying to find folk you click with?

    I've also made a separate group of friends from my course, though only from one induction and an optional trip today, our lectures don't start until next week.

    It really upsets/angers me when I read these sorts of threads. If I were in Halls I'd be watching like a Hawk for people in your situation. When we were signing up for events I noted one girl was totally on her own and seemed a tad nervous so I got talking to her, lost track of her so if I see her alone again I'll try and ensure there are no issues if there are spark up a friendship so she has someone. People shouldn't be alone, just because your flatmate isn't a drinker or hates clubbing and wants to stay in, doesn't mean you should be a prick, everyone is different, some people are so far up their own arses they think their way is the right way and anyone who doesn't follow them is a weirdo and shouldn't be isolated. /rant

    I hope for your sake your course mates are much nicer and obviously joining societies will help, despite the friendship network I have managed to form I'll still join 5 societies or so, the more the merrier and all that.
    You actually sound like a lovely person, I wish more people were like you. I'm not meaning this sarcastically btw.
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    If I'd seen this thread last week, I would have said "I'm in the same situation", but having stuck it out for a week, I'm pretty happy.

    The first few days I relied on my friends from home that had moved up to Aberdeen Uni for socialising. They are all staying in Aberdeen Uni Halls, wheras I'm at RGU, so you could say it was a bit silly, seeing as I'd never see the people I met at their flats around uni. But at the same time, it made me realise that if you just meet people, they tend to be friendly the majority of the time. I went up to the AU halls about 3 times during freshers, and I've met a tonne of nice folk, who I'll probably keep in touch with.

    At the same time, I made a real effort to meet and make friends with the people in my course. By the very nature that they're doing the same course as you, they're more likely to have things in common with you that your flatmates, who are no doubt doing a variety of different courses. If you sit next to them in lectures, chat to them, if you're next to them on a tour, say hi. The chances are they're glad for someone to talk to! I've met a nice groupd of 5 or 6 people this way, and we get along really well. We've gone for a few nights out, and generally spend the uni day together

    By the end of freshers, I had sort of given up "connecting" with my flatmates, seeing as how there had been a few days when I hadn't seen any of them! But on the last night, I made an effort to go and sit in the lounge with them, and have a couple of drinks with them. Although we might not have a lot in common, I realised they're nice enough people, and I ended up going out with them that night! Maybe you should ask them if they're going out, and the chances are they won't say "no" if they actually are.

    Hope this helps, PM me if you want any more advice. Sorry for rambling!
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    (Original post by DannyBoy123)

    You won't necessarily make your best friends in freshers week, I have so many mates who hated their flat/halls or whatever and then met great people later in the year and had a completely different friend group. Just be yourself, be outgoing and open to meeting people and you will find people who you click with. Sitting in your room and moping on TSR won't help.
    oh no mate I think you misunderstand me, that's my rant at OP's and folks like hers situation. I'm living at home and have managed to get a group of friends that let me crash their twice already and have said I'm welcome whenever, my talkativeness(it's a word now..) and friendliness paid off, I knew it would, just I knew it might take me until lectures and societies get going, luckily not. I just hate it when people don't consider others around them, it's a bit like you know when someone has an accident in a public place and people just pass by or stand their gormless, ffs do something you know what I mean?
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    (Original post by .Scout.)
    You actually sound like a lovely person, I wish more people were like you. I'm not meaning this sarcastically btw.
    awww thank you, and yay for come dine with me!
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    Its the same with my flatmates too. They say hi to me and all that but never invite me out. I am just the guy they say hi to I guess :cry2:.
 
 
 
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