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Start uni in a few days and I feel completely rubbish about the way I look watch

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    Anon please.

    I'm a girl btw. I literally feel sick thinking about going to uni because I'm so unconfident about the way I look I'm going to my dream uni and the course is amazing, everything's perfect except ME. I was meant to have lost all the weight I've been gaining over the last couple of years, but I haven't.

    Problem 1: I'm fat.
    Problem 2: My skin seems to be ageing prematurely and a few months ago, I discovered massive creases below my eyes, that are really obvious especially when I smile even slightly.
    Problem 3: I have no sense of style, and added to the fact that I'm fat, I look terrible.

    I really wanted to have sorted out the fatness before starting uni (I've had a lonely, uneventful gap year with barely any contact with people my age but that's a whole different kettle of fish, the offset is that I haven't had any pressure on me to sort the way I look out)

    I tried to leave the house to go shopping today for example, but it took me way over an hour to get the confidence to do it, I kept stressing about what to wear to hide my lumps, and then I went into a fitting room in topshop and nearly cried, everything looked so bad on me and I bought nothing.

    I have hardly any going out clothes or formal stuff, which I keep being told I need, but I hate the idea of wearing any of that stuff.
    I know I'm being stupid but I look like such a dork all the time and I think people will be embarrassed to be friends with me never mind how I'm going to go out or attempt to dance. I hate photos anyway and will hate them even more now. My uni has a rah reputation and is very sporty, and all the girls I've seen who go there seem super fit and pretty.

    The biggest shame is that I actually wanted to enjoy myself going to uni and make a good impression, and just feel and look the best I could.

    Help me TSR what do I dooo?
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    Pics are required.



    Nah but seriously, stop stressing about how you look. The problem here is more your lack of confidence than actual fatness.
    Although, it would make you feel better if you lost the weight. Get a gym membership, eat less, do something pro-active to solve the problem.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please.

    I'm a girl btw. I literally feel sick thinking about going to uni because I'm so unconfident about the way I look I'm going to my dream uni and the course is amazing, everything's perfect except ME. I was meant to have lost all the weight I've been gaining over the last couple of years, but I haven't.

    Problem 1: I'm fat.
    Problem 2: My skin seems to be ageing prematurely and a few months ago, I discovered massive creases below my eyes, that are really obvious especially when I smile even slightly.
    Problem 3: I have no sense of style, and added to the fact that I'm fat, I look terrible.

    I really wanted to have sorted out the fatness before starting uni (I've had a lonely, uneventful gap year with barely any contact with people my age but that's a whole different kettle of fish, the offset is that I haven't had any pressure on me to sort the way I look out)

    I tried to leave the house to go shopping today for example, but it took me way over an hour to get the confidence to do it, I kept stressing about what to wear to hide my lumps, and then I went into a fitting room in topshop and nearly cried, everything looked so bad on me and I bought nothing.

    I have hardly any going out clothes or formal stuff, which I keep being told I need, but I hate the idea of wearing any of that stuff.
    I know I'm being stupid but I look like such a dork all the time and I think people will be embarrassed to be friends with me never mind how I'm going to go out or attempt to dance. I hate photos anyway and will hate them even more now. My uni has a rah reputation and is very sporty, and all the girls I've seen who go there seem super fit and pretty.

    The biggest shame is that I actually wanted to enjoy myself going to uni and make a good impression, and just feel and look the best I could.

    Help me TSR what do I dooo?
    Did you attempt to lose weight? or no?


    1) eat less
    2) eat better
    3) stop worrying
    4) join a gym
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    It sounds as though you have very low self-confidence, and because you are very aware of it, it is impacting on lots of aspects in your life. The truth is, you can't waste your life feeling sorry for yourself and letting opportunities pass you by because you think you looked fat in that dress or refuse to get in pictures because you 'look like a dork'. If you want to lose weight, spend less time thinking about it and more time putting into place the necessary lifestyle changes that will help you shed it. You won't change until you overcome the self-defeatist attitude.
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    you should watch some trinny and suzanna they'll give you some confidence in the way you look whilst giving you tips on what to wear
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    I can't tell you that you aren't fat without pics
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    You sound just like me. First of all, if you're comfortable saying, what size are you clothes wise? Seeing as how you mentioned Topshop, you're not going to be as big as I am because they stop at a size 16 I believe. So you're definitely not a big girl!

    If you're looking for clothes that hide the lumps and bumps whilst you work on losing some weight I'd suggest looking for "oversized" clothes or going somewhere like New Look and getting a size up and see how they look on you. Bubble hemmed tops can be found all over at the moment, especially in New Look. Try them as they skim over all the bumps! Same for longer tops/tunic tops, they're usually bigger than something that is fitted, so they will skim too rather than cling. There's plenty of stuff that looks great worn either casually or for going out! Jeans wise, you can go for the stretchier styles that have elastane in them. They're lovely and fairly fitted, but they won't give you a muffin top if you go for the right size. They've got give in them so they're very comfortable. I can't plug New Look enough for you. If you're struggling with your size to get some nicer clothes, I'd look in there. I practically live in New Look clothes at the moment until I can lose the spare tyre(s) I have!

    Skin wise, I can't help as much, but get yourself a decent moisturiser and use it once or twice a day, see if it helps to bring it up a bit and look younger.

    Style wise - join the club! I live in t-shirts and jeans at the moment. I've been trying some of the gypsie style clothes at the moment and I've found that they suit me quite well. You don't need to be overly styled, just look for a style of clothes that suits you and stick to it. You'll develop a style of your own when you start buying things that you like and look good on you.

    Uni wise, I'm sure you're going to be just fine! Just because you're a bigger girl doesn't mean you won't fit in! Just be yourself and don't worry about your lumps and bumps. You can start working on those when you're cooking for yourself and you can join the uni gym or simply just go walking round your uni!

    I hope that helps and feel free to PM me if you want to talk!
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    What size are you? You're probably not even fat. I sympathise with you, I am fat. But I bet you're not.
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    (Original post by Rai)
    Did you attempt to lose weight? or no?


    1) eat less
    2) eat better
    3) stop worrying
    4) join a gym
    I've slowly lost some weight over the last couple of months though, about 4kg so far. (about 9lb)

    Problem is, it's nowhere near enough, and I've got about 12/13kg to go before I can return to a weight I was a few years ago, start feeling ok about not wearing baggy clothes. Before, throghout the year, I was trying but getting nowhere, due to lack of motivation, which makes it all the more frustrating now the time has come.

    I do know how to lose weight, and I can be quite disciplined about it, but my weight's gone up and down since I turned about 16. Before that I was rake thin, and equally unconfdent and unhappy with the way I looked :sad: I don't know what's wrong with me.
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    Tbh if you can fit into topshop clothes...which only go up to a size 16 you're not that fat.
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    Okay I don't shop at Topshop that often either because I have a weird bodyshape and a lot of the clothes don't really suit me. What I do is I have a lot of 'plain' items (vest tops, jeans, etc) and then I accessorise with jewellery, etc. I also don't feel that much suits me so maybe you're like me in that sense. About the weight, don't worry I'm sure it'll drop off when you start university. Join a gym (make sure you go - commitment is difficult but make yourself think it's fun so that you want to go) and only buy healthy food. You'll be busy partying (and stressing over finals), etc that you'll probably lose weight. Most students do don't they? And NEVER think you're not good enough or that people won't like you for the way you look. Anyone like that is a tosser and not worth the effort. Good luck! :console:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please.

    I'm a girl btw. I literally feel sick thinking about going to uni because I'm so unconfident about the way I look I'm going to my dream uni and the course is amazing, everything's perfect except ME. I was meant to have lost all the weight I've been gaining over the last couple of years, but I haven't.

    Problem 1: I'm fat.
    Problem 2: My skin seems to be ageing prematurely and a few months ago, I discovered massive creases below my eyes, that are really obvious especially when I smile even slightly.
    Problem 3: I have no sense of style, and added to the fact that I'm fat, I look terrible.

    I really wanted to have sorted out the fatness before starting uni (I've had a lonely, uneventful gap year with barely any contact with people my age but that's a whole different kettle of fish, the offset is that I haven't had any pressure on me to sort the way I look out)

    I tried to leave the house to go shopping today for example, but it took me way over an hour to get the confidence to do it, I kept stressing about what to wear to hide my lumps, and then I went into a fitting room in topshop and nearly cried, everything looked so bad on me and I bought nothing.

    I have hardly any going out clothes or formal stuff, which I keep being told I need, but I hate the idea of wearing any of that stuff.
    I know I'm being stupid but I look like such a dork all the time and I think people will be embarrassed to be friends with me never mind how I'm going to go out or attempt to dance. I hate photos anyway and will hate them even more now. My uni has a rah reputation and is very sporty, and all the girls I've seen who go there seem super fit and pretty.

    The biggest shame is that I actually wanted to enjoy myself going to uni and make a good impression, and just feel and look the best I could.

    Help me TSR what do I dooo?
    If you can shop here your not fat. Trust me. Just chill out.
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    Not sure what you consider 'fat'.

    At Uni, no one knows you. If you act confident, people will believe you are confident and will focus on things other than how you look.
    I doubt you look so bad. I think everyone could obsess over things they dislike about their appearance, no one is perfect...and others wont notice your 'faults' like you do... at the end of the day, make the most of what you do have and be a fun person.
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    (Original post by noodles!)
    What size are you? You're probably not even fat. I sympathise with you, I am fat. But I bet you're not.

    In Topshop I was wearing 14 comfortably. I have some size 12 clothes, some even 16.

    I'm 5'8'' but the problem is, I put weight on in the worst places. Love handles, boobs, all around my torso, but the muffin top situation is really the worst, it looks horrible, so I'm always really careful to wear high waisted jeans and baggy tops to hide it, but obviously the rest of me is fat as well ast the moment.

    Also, my cheeks. I seem to gain a disproportional amount on my face, so I look so flabby in photos. Again, so frustrating, because at my thinnest (some 15kg ess than now) I had quite a sculptured face, and my eyes and smile just looked so much more defined. Face fat is really unattractive, and I know I said boobs, but too big, coupled with being chubby all over just makes me look...maternal.
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    Losing weight would be great for your health and image but I don't think it will make you think any better of yourself. Take someone supportive to shopping with you and avoid looking in shop mirrors, pick up lots of stuff and bring it home, try stuff on in your own room since it might be a bit more comfortable for you.
    Get your hair and nails done and basically just have a good day out you should feel miles better afterwards. Try caring less about what people think about you and socialise, the people that only care about what you wear etc aren't worth your time anyway
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    you're fat today and nothing will change that. with work, you won't be fat in a few months.. so you might as well be more positive, surely you don't wanna start uni being fat AND miserable or fat AND boring.

    4kg isn't much but it's definitely a step up from nothing/gaining. just keep going, you know what you have to do.
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    Topshop is expensive crap anyway, you're best off trying Peacocks or Matalan, they do really nice clothing to suit a whole range of sizes - you'll find something you love and fits well trust me! I'm sure you look fine and you're over-thinking but you could try some concealer underneath your eyes if you feel too concious of them - but nobody will notice this at uni, people are interested in your personality not your appearance. Anyone so shallow shouldn't be worth the time.

    Good luck and I'm sure you look really pretty - meet some new people and have a fantastic time
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In Topshop I was wearing 14 comfortably. I have some size 12 clothes, some even 16.

    I'm 5'8'' but the problem is, I put weight on in the worst places. Love handles, boobs, all around my torso, but the muffin top situation is really the worst, it looks horrible, so I'm always really careful to wear high waisted jeans and baggy tops to hide it, but obviously the rest of me is fat as well ast the moment.

    Also, my cheeks. I seem to gain a disproportional amount on my face, so I look so flabby in photos. Again, so frustrating, because at my thinnest (some 15kg ess than now) I had quite a sculptured face, and my eyes and smile just looked so much more defined. Face fat is really unattractive, and I know I said boobs, but too big, coupled with being chubby all over just makes me look...maternal.
    You are seriously not fat, no one is going to look at you and think "fat", but if you want to lose weight then just stop stressing, eat better and exercise every day, write down some type of plan but don't over-do it. if you go to uni a nervous wreck, this is what people will notice, not your weight. concentrate on having fun, there will be much larger people than you at university. why don't you get your hair or eyebrows done or something or buy some new makeup for now to make yourself feel a bit better, and about the clothes thing, try wearing tunics ( try dorothy perkins ) a pair of leggings and some heals for a night out, i promise you'll feel comfortable. don't feel rubbish about the way you look, and whatever you do don't let it ruin your time at uni
    • #1
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    (Original post by ghostbusterbunny)
    You sound just like me. First of all, if you're comfortable saying, what size are you clothes wise? Seeing as how you mentioned Topshop, you're not going to be as big as I am because they stop at a size 16 I believe. So you're definitely not a big girl!

    If you're looking for clothes that hide the lumps and bumps whilst you work on losing some weight I'd suggest looking for "oversized" clothes or going somewhere like New Look and getting a size up and see how they look on you. Bubble hemmed tops can be found all over at the moment, especially in New Look. Try them as they skim over all the bumps! Same for longer tops/tunic tops, they're usually bigger than something that is fitted, so they will skim too rather than cling. There's plenty of stuff that looks great worn either casually or for going out! Jeans wise, you can go for the stretchier styles that have elastane in them. They're lovely and fairly fitted, but they won't give you a muffin top if you go for the right size. They've got give in them so they're very comfortable. I can't plug New Look enough for you. If you're struggling with your size to get some nicer clothes, I'd look in there. I practically live in New Look clothes at the moment until I can lose the spare tyre(s) I have!

    Skin wise, I can't help as much, but get yourself a decent moisturiser and use it once or twice a day, see if it helps to bring it up a bit and look younger.

    Style wise - join the club! I live in t-shirts and jeans at the moment. I've been trying some of the gypsie style clothes at the moment and I've found that they suit me quite well. You don't need to be overly styled, just look for a style of clothes that suits you and stick to it. You'll develop a style of your own when you start buying things that you like and look good on you.

    Uni wise, I'm sure you're going to be just fine! Just because you're a bigger girl doesn't mean you won't fit in! Just be yourself and don't worry about your lumps and bumps. You can start working on those when you're cooking for yourself and you can join the uni gym or simply just go walking round your uni!

    I hope that helps and feel free to PM me if you want to talk!

    Thanks for that. Yeah I have some 'bubble hemmed' type stuff, but not much. I really don't have many clothes, and now the time has come, it's even worse when I attempt to go shopping because I know I have to buy stuff, but start getting really worked up about my body and endup even more depressed than before.

    Also everyone saying that if I can weartopshop I'm not fat, I was trying on oversized stuff like jumpers and jackets, I tried a loose, bubble hemmed type dress in 14 and it looked ridiculous on me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In Topshop I was wearing 14 comfortably. I have some size 12 clothes, some even 16.

    I'm 5'8'' but the problem is, I put weight on in the worst places. Love handles, boobs, all around my torso, but the muffin top situation is really the worst, it looks horrible, so I'm always really careful to wear high waisted jeans and baggy tops to hide it, but obviously the rest of me is fat as well ast the moment.

    Also, my cheeks. I seem to gain a disproportional amount on my face, so I look so flabby in photos. Again, so frustrating, because at my thinnest (some 15kg ess than now) I had quite a sculptured face, and my eyes and smile just looked so much more defined. Face fat is really unattractive, and I know I said boobs, but too big, coupled with being chubby all over just makes me look...maternal.
    I bet you look absolutely fine By all means lose weight to make you feel better for you. Not for anyone else.

    But don't hide inside sacks, I PROMISE they make you look worse. Even I realise that and I have little to no confidence in how I look (I'm size 18 & was a 20 probably pushing on 22 but completely in denial 2 years ago). I bet there are loads of clothes out there that would suit you, I'd rather see someone who was a bit bigger and well dressed than someone who was perhaps a size 12 but still even then not dressed for her size if you see what I mean. Shop around a bit, try stuff on and see if it suits you. You might surprise yourself!

    One of my cousins is a size 12 but is only about 5'3 or 4 and has a bit of a belly on her (I don't mean that in any nasty way) and love handles etc, if she wore the same clothes that a taller size 12 girl would (skinny, hipster jeans and whatever) she'd look awful but she dresses in what suits her.

    Anyway as far as actual confidence at uni goes, if you can, fake it. You act like something isn't a big deal, others won't either. When I was at my biggest and in denial about it nobody mentioned it to me because I didn't care about it, and I can see that now. Whereas once I noticed and was like "oh crap what have I done, I'm the most disgusting person in the world" and was suddenly the most self conscious person ever I felt like everyone hated me.
 
 
 
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