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Have u ever lost someone and felt the need to change absolutely everything? watch

    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm so sorry. I always hate saying those words, they seem to sound empty when I'm trying to convey meaning.

    I'm worried about changing into someone so different...that I'm not the person I was when I had the relationship with this person. I mean, surely they wouldn't want that? But I can't help it...feel like I'm on this course, and I have to see it out. I don't even know why I'm like this. Thanks for your post.
    Going on this course, changing as much as you are, is what is helping you deal with what has happened. I don't know how to convey it as such, since I'm sure this has happened recently and it was always difficult to listen to other people's advice so early on, but this changing is what is going to help you deal with it all and the person would want you to be able to come out with a healthy grip on the situation, with the mental awareness of what has happened and what you did to get through it all. The course you're on is what will help you deal with it personally, because everybody deals with things differently. It is just important to do what feels right.
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Yes, imagine a man dying. His wife will have lost a husband and will have to learn to be completely independent and pay the bills by herself.

    His siblings will have lost a brother.

    His parents would have a lost a son.

    His children will have to learn to continue life without him.

    One of his children is too young to even remember his presence.

    Now stop being an attention seeking prick, i bet you won't even go to this person's funeral.
    Were you ever bullied at school?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Yes, imagine a man dying. His wife will have lost a husband and will have to learn to be completely independent and pay the bills by herself.

    His siblings will have lost a brother.

    His parents would have a lost a son.

    His children will have to learn to continue life without him.

    One of his children is too young to even remember his presence.

    Now stop being an attention seeking prick, i bet you won't even go to this person's funeral.
    It's been and gone buddy, now if you've not got anything helpful to say, please refrain from posting.
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    (Original post by pippa90)
    Were you ever bullied at school?
    No but I recieved BJ's in the girl's toilet's if that in anyway counts as abuse.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wow...got my answer. Yes, people say I'm working through my grief...and that I'll never forget them but it will get better. So, you felt like all the changes were needed then? Why do we do this?

    I feel like I must undergo these changes but I think I'll be very different from the person I was when they were in my life. Is this necessarily a good thing?
    The changes were definitley needed, I was going crazy, I felt trapped, claustrophobic. Ugh I cant even describe it but I'm sure you're feeling it. Life just isnt right anymore and there was no point staying the way I was. I think it also makes you realise how short life is and kind of gives you that nudge to do what you always wanted to do. I had always wanted to move, and change certain things about myself and trivial things like that, but I was comfortable in my life so didnt really bother. It's like a wake up call really. One you wish didnt have to happen, but it did so make the most of it.

    And DONT feel guilty about the changes. I know what you mean by that too. Its better than wallowing in misery over them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's not very fair. Have you ever lost someone close to you around the same age? It's not easy.
    Yes, my cousin. We were very close, and I was very shook up over it.
    I didn't let it change who I was as a person though. I kept control of myself, even though I did go through grieving and such.

    Don't just assume that nobody's had it as rough as you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by BumperBo)
    Yes, my cousin. We were very close, and I was very shook up over it.
    I didn't let it change who I was as a person though. I kept control of myself, even though I did go through grieving and such.

    Don't just assume that nobody's had it as rough as you.
    I think by asking if anyone has been through a similar thing in my question, clearly shows I am asking who else has had it rough. I can't go through these ordeals and not let it change me...and it depends what you regard as not being in control. I still work, go to uni etc. Don't assume that because other people deal differently from you, that they are not dealing in just as acceptable a way.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Arnotts)
    The changes were definitley needed, I was going crazy, I felt trapped, claustrophobic. Ugh I cant even describe it but I'm sure you're feeling it. Life just isnt right anymore and there was no point staying the way I was. I think it also makes you realise how short life is and kind of gives you that nudge to do what you always wanted to do. I had always wanted to move, and change certain things about myself and trivial things like that, but I was comfortable in my life so didnt really bother. It's like a wake up call really. One you wish didnt have to happen, but it did so make the most of it.

    And DONT feel guilty about the changes. I know what you mean by that too. Its better than wallowing in misery over them.
    Yeah, I know just what you mean. It's like a way of breaking out. I know exactly what you're saying with giving a 'nudge' too...I'm off to do something tomorrow night I would never have done in the past, although I'd always just sort of condsidered doing it. I'm always going to do it with a person both I(and the person who is gone) had liked and got on well with, but never taken the time to really spend time with. Like I said, I just don't want to change into a person so unrecognisable from the person they knew...thanks for your advice and sharing.
    • #3
    #3

    I lost my grandmother recently but I've never lost anyone really close.

    I know I'm not being helpful about this but I can't believe someone can be enough of a prick to make fun of this issue.
    Does Yawn11 have some kind of disability or is he just a heartless ****?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think by asking if anyone has been through a similar thing in my question, clearly shows I am asking who else has had it rough. I can't go through these ordeals and not let it change me...and it depends what you regard as not being in control. I still work, go to uni etc. Don't assume that because other people deal differently from you, that they are not dealing in just as acceptable a way.
    I said nothing like that. We all grieve different. I understand your need to tell me not to assume anything though, since when I said it you looked like a tool.
 
 
 
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