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    I went to uni on saturday and it was the first time I've ever lived away from home. From the moment I woke up on the sunday I realised I just couldn't stand living away and feeling so isolated. People in my hall are perfectly fine and friendly, but they all prefer to drink and go out a lot more than me

    Yesterday I had the option to come home for a few days to reconsider my options until the weekend, but I'm at a complete loss of what to do. Even the course, which on paper seemed fantastic, now seems boring and pointless as its overshadowed by how much I hate living away.

    After talking to various people, these are the three options I have:

    -Go back to uni and stick it out and hope something magically turns around and I start to enjoy it

    -Try and transfer to a local university on a similar course (suggested by my hall warden, but obviously places aren't guaranteed and the earlier I inquire the better)

    -Drop out and get a job for a year and think about reapplying to uni next year

    At the moment the dropping out option seems most favourable to me. The only thing that's putting me off is that I'll feel like a failure for giving up at uni so easily, and will wonder whether this trait will carry on even if I still live at home for a few more years. I really feel if I go back to uni this weekend though I'll get myself all depressed again and not eat properly, which will just make me ill and make everything worse :\

    Sorry for such a long post, but I just feel like I need a good rant. I guess what I want to know is, has anyone had similar experiences/what would you do in my situation?

    Everyone I've talked to says that I should stick it out and I'll enjoy it after a while, but I can't think of anything that could change that will suddenly mean I start enjoying living away. Its incredibly daunting to think I would be there on my own until mid December. My parents have said they will support whatever decision I make, but I can't help but think a part of them will be disappointed in me. My mam has also said if I go back I can't keep ringing her up every hour really depressed and asking to go home because its making her upset too, so I don't want to do that either :\
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    (Original post by Lanithro)
    Its incredibly daunting to think I would be there on my own until mid December.
    Then don't think that.

    Think that you will stay there until the end of October (or another reasonable amount of time) and see how you feel.

    At least settle into (and START) your course. Fresher's week =/= how university always is.
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    You should try real hard to stay to be honest. You're 18 and calling your Mum telling her how much you miss home, I'm not going to say "Man Up" or anything but......Uni is a time where you need to become more independent and turn into an adult.

    Also you keep saying you will be on your own. But, if you make friends you won't be, also at any time you could fall for a girl and be in a relationship before you know it, and you definitely won't want to go home then.

    In a month or 2 you will feel a more confident, and adult person if you just stick it out.
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    You're going to be one of those 30 year olds who lives with their parents :sadnod:
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    You can't possibly judge what the next 3 years are going to be like just from being there 5 days. Stick it out. You might make some friends and you might start enjoying your course. Just give it a few more weeks/months at least then if you drop out you can say you tried. Don't miss out on getting your degree because you feel homesick.
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    Don't do anything rash. I remember when I started Greenwich uni, I was originally from Devon and when to live in New Cross in London in rented accomodation with 2 guys I didn't know. The first couple of weeks were a little daunting, but you soon get to know people and suddenly you find out that most people feel the same.

    The course will feel boring at the moment, as they are probably letting people settle before unleashing the more exciting aspects of the course.

    I would give it a least a couple of months before you make any decisions.

    Besides nothing is more depressing than returning home to live with your parents after having a bit of freedom.

    Good luck
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    I am glad that I see people here answering saying that fresher's week does not equal the next three years.

    I a kind of struggling at uni as well. I just started this week, but I'm not particularly loving it, as I haven't made any friends yet and I am terrified of some of my modules. But I'll give it time.
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    I feel EXACTLY the same, my parents are actually asking me to come home cos they cant stand me being so unhappy, i just feel such a failure.
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    (Original post by Lanithro)
    I went to uni on saturday and it was the first time I've ever lived away from home. From the moment I woke up on the sunday I realised I just couldn't stand living away and feeling so isolated. People in my hall are perfectly fine and friendly, but they all prefer to drink and go out a lot more than me

    Yesterday I had the option to come home for a few days to reconsider my options until the weekend, but I'm at a complete loss of what to do. Even the course, which on paper seemed fantastic, now seems boring and pointless as its overshadowed by how much I hate living away.

    After talking to various people, these are the three options I have:

    -Go back to uni and stick it out and hope something magically turns around and I start to enjoy it

    -Try and transfer to a local university on a similar course (suggested by my hall warden, but obviously places aren't guaranteed and the earlier I inquire the better)

    -Drop out and get a job for a year and think about reapplying to uni next year

    At the moment the dropping out option seems most favourable to me. The only thing that's putting me off is that I'll feel like a failure for giving up at uni so easily, and will wonder whether this trait will carry on even if I still live at home for a few more years. I really feel if I go back to uni this weekend though I'll get myself all depressed again and not eat properly, which will just make me ill and make everything worse :\

    Sorry for such a long post, but I just feel like I need a good rant. I guess what I want to know is, has anyone had similar experiences/what would you do in my situation?

    Everyone I've talked to says that I should stick it out and I'll enjoy it after a while, but I can't think of anything that could change that will suddenly mean I start enjoying living away. Its incredibly daunting to think I would be there on my own until mid December. My parents have said they will support whatever decision I make, but I can't help but think a part of them will be disappointed in me. My mam has also said if I go back I can't keep ringing her up every hour really depressed and asking to go home because its making her upset too, so I don't want to do that either :\
    If i were you id stick it out for a while longer- give it a bit more time. You never know, you might like it, especially when you get used to living away more and its only the start of the course, you may like it. But in the meantime, id look into similar courses at other unis, just for if you still dont like it- because as you said,its better to start that early.
    Hope this helps anyway.
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    i went to uni last year and i hated the halls i just felt like i didnt fit in. i couldnt stand it plus i was on the coure i didnt really like so i decided to drop out. if you really believe your more happy to leave than stay then i think thats what you should do. i didnt think i would ever be happy at the uni i went to so i had to just leave and i felt much better and i dont regret it a year on. anyway it your only young you wont look like afailure it would be harder to put on a front and act like you like it than to just leave and enjoy your year ahead on a gap year
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    You need to try and stick it out. Freshers is generally not a remotely accurate representation of life at Uni.
    Try to have a positive attitude towards it, not a negative one. Tbh it sounds like you have already decided that you hate it. If you continue basically intending to hate Uni, then you will hate it. However, if you continue intending to enjoy Uni and get the best out of you can, your experience will be more positive.
    Everyone has to grow up and move out sometime. I guess I'm telling you to man up too. At least don't quit so easily.
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    December may sound like a long time, but it'll fly by. My first two years at uni feel like half a year of school back when I was 10.
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    I understand what you're all saying...everyone says to stick it out for a while longer yet cos it is really early to make the decision to drop out. But if I went back and still felt the same way, I'd hate to have to put my parents through all the depressed phone calls again and potentially having to drag themselves down to uni again to get me. I can't keep changing my mind

    I phoned a couple of local universities today and neither of them have any places on computer science courses unfortunately So it looks like its either take a gap year and apply locally next year, or go back to uni this weekend and tough it out

    Maybe its just that some people aren't cut out for leaving home so quickly at 18/19 with everything changing so fast. I get the feeling I'd end up making myself feel ill if I went back and that's not a good place to be. The course could be amazing but if I feel that bad about it I won't put any effort in and it won't be worth it

    Plenty of people take gap years. Maybe I could get a job for a year and get some financial backing and a years more life experience before going to uni again. I just don't think I'm cut out for being away from home for that long. I know its possible to get the train up every so often but I don't think I'd be able to afford it as often as I maybe needed it. Its also impossible to go home on a weekend (something I've heard plenty of people who don't suit the lifestyle have done) as the distance is too far away that I could only spend a few hours at home before having to make the trip back
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    (Original post by Hachi)
    I feel EXACTLY the same, my parents are actually asking me to come home cos they cant stand me being so unhappy, i just feel such a failure.
    I think I know you :ninja: Which high school did you go to?

    Stick it out a bit longer OP, give yourself a month and if you are still unhappy, then drop out and reapply through UCAS. It's probably just a bit of homesickness which I remember all too well from my gap year. Join a society or two, because you should, theoretically, meet some like-minded people and wait till your course starts properly. In the mean time, make more of an effort with your flatmates and you'll soon start enjoying yourself.
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    You should still try for at least another week or two, as many have said freshers =/= rest of uni life! I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind if you gave it another shot and then really didn't like it - at least you tried! Also, if you're thinking "I will be crap/make myself ill" then ofc you will, just try and be positive!

    You say you are thinking of getting a job in your gap year - remember how bad the job climate is at the moment, you may very well not even get a job.

    You're going to have to leave home at some point, and it will always be hard, sometimes you just have to push yourself.

    Good luck in whatever decision you make
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    I moved into uni halls and I was only 30 mins from home but I still hated being away and missed everyone like crazy! But at the same time, I am so glad that I chose to go in halls because the experience did make me grow up, and I got over the feeling homesick thing after a week or so.

    Maybe you should try and stay for the year- you're not in uni all that much and will most likely be finished by May, and will have like a month off at Christmas and another month off at Easter. Make sure that you plan to have friends over every couple of weeks for the weekend, and invite your parents down to stay in a hotel for the weekend then you can see them on the Saturday & Sunday.

    Honestly, the time will pass very fast when you're into the work and such, providing you do it properly as it takes a lot of your time! Getting drunk probably isn't the best idea, as it often only makes you feel even worse; especially when you wake up hungover. By all means go out and have a good time, but don't drink yourself into oblivion!

    Honestly, Christmas will come around before you know it, and after that it's a countdown to the summer!
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    I would say give it till reading week and then make your decesion, this time last week I was devestated about being at uni and wanted to go home SO badly and was on the phone in tears and so on but my parents said to stick it out till 1st november and to make a decesion then when my uni life has properly started and i'm involved in my course & societies and have friends. I would definatly say things are looking up this week so my advice would be go back till reading week and arrange maybe 1 weekend home in that period then make yourself really busy so you cant think about it its when your on your own you have time to think about it. Only call home once a day, less if you can and get really heavily involved in societies and your course, do some extra reading say, join the gym, whatever just make sure you are really busy and so have little time to be homesick. Remember many young children are sent to live away from home from the age of 7! If they can manage it so can you! and trust me everybody who is at uni will be feeling massivly homesick as its a huge uprooting where nothing is familiar but some will be better at hiding it then others. Also on the partying front after freshers it will die down as people wont be able to afford more then once or twice a week.

    Go on, go back and give it a bit longer or you will always regret it (its working for me...) Good luck
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    My first week was hell. I was on the wrong course and I hated being away from home. It was absolutely horrible. I managed to switch course, catch up and cope with living in halls despite being extremely uncomfortable with living away from home. I don't drink, I hate clubs, pubs, etc, there is pretty much nobody who I've found relates to me really here. I'm now in my second year and although I dislike term time, I am living with it because at the end of the day I need to get this degree.

    It's not nearly as bad as you are seeing it right now. Believe me, mental illness and depression statisitcs for first year university students are pretty high, but you can get through it and it will make you a whole lot more independant.

    Although I was sad to move to my lodgings this september, I was coping with it much better than last year and I'm glad that I sat it out.

    If you drop out there could be fees associated with your halls also (if someone doesn't fill your place at the halls i went to then you have to pay for the whole year even if you leave, since it's lost business for them otherwise) among other things.

    Stick with it, become a man, kick some ass.

    (Original post by Hachi)
    I feel EXACTLY the same, my parents are actually asking me to come home cos they cant stand me being so unhappy, i just feel such a failure.
    (Original post by deathbeforeimmortality)
    I am glad that I see people here answering saying that fresher's week does not equal the next three years.

    I a kind of struggling at uni as well. I just started this week, but I'm not particularly loving it, as I haven't made any friends yet and I am terrified of some of my modules. But I'll give it time.
    Quoted you both because I think my advice can help you too (not so much become a man, but the rest counts)
    It strengthens you up so much. Trust me when I say it's worth the pain. Just like going to the gym, it's exhausting, it aches, it is not always something you want to do. But you come out of it stronger.
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    definetly stay at least til christmas - you haven't even been there a week! moving away from home was always going to be hard - but everyone is in the same boat. you will make friends eventually join societies and say yes to invitiations, even if you don t really feel like it at first. there s not much point dropping out and applying next year because it ll be exactly the same second time around. you really need to give the course and your new life a chance before you consider dropping out. good luck everyone faces the same challenge of settling into a new life just give it time.

    also you re going to move out at some point, you can' t live at home forever you re going to have to be brave and git it a try.
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    (Original post by hardy_4_paws)
    everybody who is at uni will be feeling massivly homesick
    I know this is trying to be motivational, but it's absolutely not true, I hope you realise. :p:

    There are of course many in the same boat, however.

    OP, try not to call your parents upset all the time. You're feeling so bad because you aren't able to go without your parents. And you keep calling them, perhaps you never will be. For some people it comes with time. Take care.
 
 
 

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