OK i don't really know where to start with this but I'm madly in love with one of my friends (me being male and my friend female) I can't stop thinking about her and it is starting to interfere with my studies at uni because I'm thinking of her instead of concentrating.
Because we lived together last year everything was fine because I got to see her everyday and we got along really great like staying up late talking and watching films and cooking random meals together, but now we live apart and I see her less frequently twice a week maybe...
I have told how I feel but only when i have been extremely drunk (biggest mistake ever) and I don't know if she knew i was being serious and I think my doing that has sort of ruined our friendship as she will only reply to my texts with very short answers and sometimes not at all
Now it gets worse because she is not exactly unpopular with the men and has loads of male friends who are always texting and facebooking but she rarely replies to them whereas she replies to most of mine (this was before i told her how i felt) and she mentions how funny they are all the time which kills me on the inside
I really want to know how she feels about me but i really have no idea
1.She laughs at my jokes but i don't know if its because she likes me or because she actually finds them funny (I don't want to sound big headed but I am quite funny)
2.When i told her I was in love with her all she said was "You don't love me, we are so different" which is sort of true as she likes doing drugs and I absolutely hate them, she smokes while i disprove of it and also I'm and avid gamer and really into sports which she doesn't really understand it.
3. On my birthday a few days ago she wrote me a message in a card telling me how about how glad she was that she met me and how i made her first year so great.
4. We are always joking about sleeping with each other and she says things like my dad would love it if we started dating
That's just a few of the things that happen between us and I honestly don't know what to think. I want to tell her how I feel while sober but I have not had an opportunity to do so and I'm worried it would ruin our friendship further
Thanks if you read it all and Please can someone advise me on what to do as it is killing me not doing anything
What should I do?