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    I was raped by my sisters fiance on xmas night last year. I thought i was all over it and wouldnt have to think about it again but as christmas is looming and theres the odd decoration i see, it just brings it back. I hate to think what it'll be like on the day, i'm going to be so unhappy and i shouldnt be because its christmas. but even when i look at a christmas tree it makes me feel sick now and i'm dreading it. Will i ever get over this or will i hate christmas forever now?I cant ask my family not to put up decorations because its not fair on them, but i just don't feel like celebrating it for obvious reasons, please help
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    Have you had counselling?
    It's possible that this stuff will bother you for the rest of your life but it's far more likely that with a bit of help you can change your thinking and enjoy Christmas again

    the after silence forum is a good place for abuse/rape support and you might find some ideas on tackling this on there.
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    no, my mum keeps urging me to go but i dunno i just don't like the idea of going through it again and talking about it just makes me upset
    Thanks for the forum
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    Did you report it? But try recommending to your family going away for christmas, maybe getting out of the house for this christmas might make you feel more comfortable about it and thus you will be able to enjoy it in your own house?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    no, my mum keeps urging me to go but i dunno i just don't like the idea of going through it again and talking about it just makes me upset
    Thanks for the forum
    Counselling really is going to the be the only way of getting over it, you don't get rid of stuff by burying it because it just causes it to simmer beneath the surface. Christmas is going to happen this year, next year, the year after that, etc. There's no avoiding it so until you try to deal with it in some way, it's always going to be something which is dragged up each year.

    I understand this message might be construed as being rather direct, but your mum is right is urging you to try counselling.
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    Yeah i reported it it was going to court but he's moved away and no one knows where he is.

    I know i should go to counselling, and you're right it's something thats going to happen every year i'm just going to have to face it, its just hard
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    no, my mum keeps urging me to go but i dunno i just don't like the idea of going through it again and talking about it just makes me upset
    Thanks for the forum
    Trust someone who refused to deal with things for 9 years when I say that bottling it up is not the way to go.

    A counsellor won't push you to say anything you don't want to, so you can get around to things in your own time. There's no pressure.
    The first time I spoke about stuff with a counsellor I wrote a few things down on some paper and gave it to her at the end of a session to read before our next one. She never made me talk about it but it helped that she knew, because she could make the links between, for instance, relationship problems I was having, and the events I'd written down. Even just having shared things that I couldn't tell people who knew me was really helpful.

    If you don't feel you're ready to talk about it then that's fine, don't push yourself, but I think having a counsellor for some support would be beneficial.
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    i call troll
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    Trust someone who refused to deal with things for 9 years when I say that bottling it up is not the way to go.

    A counsellor won't push you to say anything you don't want to, so you can get around to things in your own time. There's no pressure.
    The first time I spoke about stuff with a counsellor I wrote a few things down on some paper and gave it to her at the end of a session to read before our next one. She never made me talk about it but it helped that she knew, because she could make the links between, for instance, relationship problems I was having, and the events I'd written down. Even just having shared things that I couldn't tell people who knew me was really helpful.

    If you don't feel you're ready to talk about it then that's fine, don't push yourself, but I think having a counsellor for some support would be beneficial.
    Thanks, i'll think about the counselling some more, theres people like that i can talk to at college, i guess talking about it to someone i don't know might be better to, like other than family.
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    (Original post by bufferz)
    i call troll
    what? I came on here asking for a bit of help anonymously and you imediatley presume i'm a troll? Does it not occur to you that people do actually have problems and need a bit of advice sometimes, what was the point in posting in this if you're not giving me any?why would i waste my time writing a thread about this, what would i be getting out of it? Get a life you loser
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    (Original post by bufferz)
    i call troll
    what the hell is wrong with you?
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    You should really speak to a counsellor. The end result should be positive, so it's worth it.
 
 
 
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