This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- would it be too late to switch schools? (year 12)
- What college should I pick?
- Choosing between colleges: Furness, Grizedale, Pendle
- Introduction
- Uni of York Accommodation
- Choosing a college
- Exploring Law Conference 2025
- Unmotivated, stuck and unsure of what to do (Year 13)
- A Level dilemma - want to keep options open
- Durham
- Questions about Trevs College Durham?
- Kellogg College Oxford
- Moving from a college to a 6th form?
- Can I attend college events if I don't live in college accommodation?
- What's Durham university like?
- Drop out of college for work at 17
- Switching from BTEC to A-Level Second Year
- LNAT Preparation
- Music Societies
- Is it easier to get an offer for Maths and Computer Science or Computer Science?
Not enjoying college
I moved to college in september after finishing my GCSE's at school. I've enjoyed parts of it however I am the only person who doesnt know anyone ad Im finding it really difficult to make friends. As a result I have to walk around on my own and am getting really lonely now and missing my friends. I really dont know what to do. I'm so misrable at college, and although Im enjoying the lessons I really miss the familiar people at my old school and feeling comfortab;e in the school environment. I really dont know what to do. Should I consider going back to my old school? We've moved house so now my school is about 40mins away although i could stay with my dad who lives closer to my school. I really dont know what to do, Should I just get on with it and hope that I will make friends soon, or should I just go back to my old life? I do enjoy college more than school as I like the freedom of it, I just wish I had the support of people I know.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
sheepgirl
I moved to college in september after finishing my GCSE's at school. I've enjoyed parts of it however I am the only person who doesnt know anyone ad Im finding it really difficult to make friends. As a result I have to walk around on my own and am getting really lonely now and missing my friends. I really dont know what to do. I'm so misrable at college, and although Im enjoying the lessons I really miss the familiar people at my old school and feeling comfortab;e in the school environment. I really dont know what to do. Should I consider going back to my old school? We've moved house so now my school is about 40mins away although i could stay with my dad who lives closer to my school. I really dont know what to do, Should I just get on with it and hope that I will make friends soon, or should I just go back to my old life? I do enjoy college more than school as I like the freedom of it, I just wish I had the support of people I know.
awwww
I hate college too
if you went back to your school, would there be a 6th form to go to?
I really hope things get better for you
Reply 2
Well you're out your comfort zone, and that was gonna happen sooner or later. Why dont you try to talk to people in class? You can then speak or join them after. Have you had many jobs before?? You just have to speak up with people or else you'll always be left out. If you go back to school, that will mean wasting a year. Not worth it, hang in there.
Reply 3
Maybe give youself a bit longer to settle in and see what happens. Can you go back to your old school and carry on with your As levels without having to miss the year? How come you do one of your subjects from home?
Reply 4
2
I dont think going back to school is the best answer for me. Although i may feel better, I may regret it if I did decide that was what I wanted to do. I'm normally fine with making new friends - I started a saturday job 3 months ago and have been fine with that, and I have laods of friends at a sports club that I go to. I just guess that everyone is feeling a bit vunerable at the moment, so they are sticking with there own friends and, like me, arnt liking not being in there comfort zone. As I've just moved to the area 2 months ago I havent really met many people yet. Ive been having a think and I might join some kind of drama or sports club out of college. Hopefully then I can alteast make friends with people in the area. Its so misrable not knowing anyone - and it doesnt help that no one wants to know. I'l see how the next week or so goes and then hopefully I'l start to feel a bit better about everything. Going to back to school would be a pain, and although I had my friends, it wasnt that great. Its easy to think about the good things about school rather than the things that made me leave for college.
Reply 5
College is kinda suking for me too...im enjoying the lessons and everything but theres not one person my age in my class. There all 18-20 and its pretty difficult to get a long with some as they all have there own 'groups'. I thought when I came thered be people my age in my group and that my friends would be in my lessons but there not, and i have different timetables to them so i rarley see them in college
I'd say just stick with it! just carry on with your work and try to settle in people will eventually get to know and like you
Try not to let it bother you that much.
whooo first serious thing ive ever posted on here
I'd say just stick with it! just carry on with your work and try to settle in people will eventually get to know and like you
Try not to let it bother you that much.
whooo first serious thing ive ever posted on here
Reply 6
I'm more or less a loner too.
I only hang around with 1 other person in sixth form, but at least you're enjoying the lessons! I really don't enjoy maths and dread every single maths lesson after lunch *shiver*. Well it's not that bad, but I'm struggling a bit compared to all these A* students who understand everything
The main reason you're in college is because you want to get the qualifications, and even if you don't make a single friend, you'll only be there for less than 2 years and then go to uni where the real fun starts...
Good luck with the situation
I only hang around with 1 other person in sixth form, but at least you're enjoying the lessons! I really don't enjoy maths and dread every single maths lesson after lunch *shiver*. Well it's not that bad, but I'm struggling a bit compared to all these A* students who understand everything
The main reason you're in college is because you want to get the qualifications, and even if you don't make a single friend, you'll only be there for less than 2 years and then go to uni where the real fun starts...
Good luck with the situation
Reply 7
14
I don't think college is a very good environment for making freinds, allthough it seems like everyone at my college did have loads 
I dunno, perhaps its just more intraverted people like me don't get on well in that environment.
I talked to people in class, enjoyed the lessons and made perhaps 1 or 2 freinds. But they diddn't really lead to anything, we never really sociliased out of college or even between lessons. it was lucky that i had a very good group of freinds at my old school and some of them went to college. So i would meet up with during weekends.
I think college was a bad environment because people were in and out at different times, there was no social time where people were waiting around like in school or uni. Hence between lessons things felt tense, as people just went home or work.
As i say, i had a fantastic time at school, and uni is going very well so far. But college was very dead socially.
If i were you, i'd a) keep all the contacts you had at your school and try and socialise with them and b) make more effort than i did at college. I don't think its all your fault really. I just think college isn't so good for some people.
That said, being a bit of a loner made work easier and in someways it helped. But iwasn't nice not really socialising with colledge people. Just freindly chats in lessons and the libary.
I dunno, perhaps its just more intraverted people like me don't get on well in that environment.
I talked to people in class, enjoyed the lessons and made perhaps 1 or 2 freinds. But they diddn't really lead to anything, we never really sociliased out of college or even between lessons. it was lucky that i had a very good group of freinds at my old school and some of them went to college. So i would meet up with during weekends.
I think college was a bad environment because people were in and out at different times, there was no social time where people were waiting around like in school or uni. Hence between lessons things felt tense, as people just went home or work.
As i say, i had a fantastic time at school, and uni is going very well so far. But college was very dead socially.
If i were you, i'd a) keep all the contacts you had at your school and try and socialise with them and b) make more effort than i did at college. I don't think its all your fault really. I just think college isn't so good for some people.
That said, being a bit of a loner made work easier and in someways it helped. But iwasn't nice not really socialising with colledge people. Just freindly chats in lessons and the libary.
Reply 8
I'm staying on at my school's sixth-form, so I can't really relate to you as much as others on here can, but I'll try my best to give helpful advice.
The long and short of it is, you have to make a bigger effort! I don't know anything about you, other than what you've posted, but it looks to me as if you're not trying hard enough; you may be shy, self-conscious, whatever - that doesn't matter; you need to overcome that. You really need to start getting more involved. If you find it hard to fit into other "established" groups, perhaps try creating small-talk with someone you sit next to in class, for instance if one of your teachers often trys to crack jokes, when he/she does you can just say to someone near you, "this teacher is so embarrassing". Doing that creates a link between you and the other person. You might not be able to develop a conversation from this, but you'll be able to say "hello" to them when you seem them in college. This is how most relationships start, and you'll find it really easy to develop them from there-on-out. All you need is a bit of self confidence, and a friendly attitude. People won't want to be your friend if you smell, have bad habbits, are mean/aggressive in conversation, are boring etc... You don't seem boring or aggressive from what I've seen, and I can't imagine you smell or have bad habbits either, but that's just an impression I've gained from you.
At the end of the day, people on TSR can tell you effective ways to make friends, and they can offer moral support, but if you really want to make friends, you'll just have to dig deep and find the courage to talk to people. As the speech will be impromptu, there isn't really any particular "script" you can devise, so it's best to just let nature take its cause and "go with the flow". Hope that helped, good luck with making friends.
Without meaning to appear harsh but, that's really the wrong way to look at it. If she is to survive at Uni, she has to start making friends now and become used to being involved in an adolescent social environment. Without good social skills she will have a much harder time at Uni, as the social side is a huge part to Uni.
The long and short of it is, you have to make a bigger effort! I don't know anything about you, other than what you've posted, but it looks to me as if you're not trying hard enough; you may be shy, self-conscious, whatever - that doesn't matter; you need to overcome that. You really need to start getting more involved. If you find it hard to fit into other "established" groups, perhaps try creating small-talk with someone you sit next to in class, for instance if one of your teachers often trys to crack jokes, when he/she does you can just say to someone near you, "this teacher is so embarrassing". Doing that creates a link between you and the other person. You might not be able to develop a conversation from this, but you'll be able to say "hello" to them when you seem them in college. This is how most relationships start, and you'll find it really easy to develop them from there-on-out. All you need is a bit of self confidence, and a friendly attitude. People won't want to be your friend if you smell, have bad habbits, are mean/aggressive in conversation, are boring etc... You don't seem boring or aggressive from what I've seen, and I can't imagine you smell or have bad habbits either, but that's just an impression I've gained from you.
At the end of the day, people on TSR can tell you effective ways to make friends, and they can offer moral support, but if you really want to make friends, you'll just have to dig deep and find the courage to talk to people. As the speech will be impromptu, there isn't really any particular "script" you can devise, so it's best to just let nature take its cause and "go with the flow".
Hope that helped, good luck with making friends.Icy Ghost
even if you don't make a single friend, you'll only be there for less than 2 years and then go to uni where the real fun starts...
Good luck with the situation
Good luck with the situation
Reply 9
I can't offer you any of my own experiences since I stayed on at my school's sixth form where it's so small that I know everyone, but I think you just need to give it time and make a bit more of an effort to get to know people. I'm with most of the same people I knew in the lower years, but although I knew who they were before, I never really talked to them. Now I've made pretty good friends with a lot of them. You just need to start chatting with people in your classes and usually that will lead to friendly greetings when you see them around, invitations to sit with them/go out somewhere with them etc.
Reply 10
11
I also go to 6th form, but give it a few weeks as im sure once everyones settled people will become more friendly, but until then just talk to the people in your lessons, and tal;k to them in your free time. But theres this to it you will do more work if you dont knoe anyone lol, but seriously just try and talk to those in your lessons and give it time!
Good luck.
Good luck.
Reply 11
jalapeno
Without meaning to appear harsh but, that's really the wrong way to look at it. If she is to survive at Uni, she has to start making friends now and become used to being involved in an adolescent social environment. Without good social skills she will have a much harder time at Uni, as the social side is a huge part to Uni.
Without meaning to appear harsh but, that's really the wrong way to look at it. If she is to survive at Uni, she has to start making friends now and become used to being involved in an adolescent social environment. Without good social skills she will have a much harder time at Uni, as the social side is a huge part to Uni.
That's ok
By all means, make friends with as many people as possible. I'm just saying to the original poster that if it all comes to the worst, the positive side is that you will only be there for 2 years, but I'm sure that even if you don't find suitable friends at college, it certainly does not mean you won't make friends at uni.
Reply 12
At the end of the day, you're there to pass an A-Level, nothing else. That's my mentality.
Reply 13
jalapeno
Without meaning to appear harsh but, that's really the wrong way to look at it. If she is to survive at Uni, she has to start making friends now and become used to being involved in an adolescent social environment. Without good social skills she will have a much harder time at Uni, as the social side is a huge part to Uni.
Without meaning to appear harsh but, that's really the wrong way to look at it. If she is to survive at Uni, she has to start making friends now and become used to being involved in an adolescent social environment. Without good social skills she will have a much harder time at Uni, as the social side is a huge part to Uni.
But, as far as I'm aware, at uni, most people don't already have a group of friends (I'm still at college so I don't have first-hand experience here!).
Reply 14
nikki
But, as far as I'm aware, at uni, most people don't already have a group of friends (I'm still at college so I don't have first-hand experience here!).
Reply 15
jaydoh
At the end of the day, you're there to pass an A-Level, nothing else. That's my mentality.
Reply 16
If it is going to make you unhappy by being there, then leave.
Life is too short to worry about that crap.
If you go back to your old school, at least you'll have your friends with you. It is not a nice feeling being alienated and pushed into the background, so go to school with people who care about you- your friends.
It is not worth the stress, nobody should be made to feel that unhappy.
Life is too short to worry about that crap.
If you go back to your old school, at least you'll have your friends with you. It is not a nice feeling being alienated and pushed into the background, so go to school with people who care about you- your friends.
It is not worth the stress, nobody should be made to feel that unhappy.
Reply 17
17
act really stupid in class. that's what this new guy did at my school, and now everybody loves him.
Reply 18
2
hehe I like that idea. Its sodifficult not knowing anyone but im sure I'l manage. To clear things up I chat with people in my lessons, its just difficult at the moment because everyone is being very clingy to there old friends and are fine in lessons, but not inbetween. I think im just going to keep going. Think about the good things rather than focusing on the bad. Im going to keep in touch with my friends and with my old school. I may joinan orchestra that meets at my old school and that alot of my friends are involved in. Then I get the best of both worlds.
Thanx for your advice!! Im glad im not the only one finding college life lonely!
Thanx for your advice!! Im glad im not the only one finding college life lonely!
Reply 19
Hi Sheepgirl
I think you're really brave going to a college different to all your mates! Welldone! I considered it but decided to stay at my school 6th form instead! I still miss a couple of my mates who have gone to other colleges though It's hard for me too - and I'm at the same college! Everything's so different to lower school, but I'm starting to settle now. I guess it'll be the same for you only take a little longer to settle...but you'll be fine soon!
Remind yourself why you decided to go to that college in the first place. Try and think positively I had a conversation at the end of year 11 with my old form tutor about how you only seem to make friends if you don't try too hard! That seems to go against everyone elses advice but I just mean make an effort but don't get too worried about it If you're sat there looking all down and sad then no-one is gonna wanna be friends with you! Sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be!
Anyway, you might not realise it now but going to that college, away from all your friends, is going to be GREAT preparation for uni. Whereas I, for example, will find it a lot more difficult to settle in at uni because I'll have been in the same school for 7 years (and the same campus for 14 years!!!). That will be a big step, but you've broken that big step up a bit. Making new friends now (and even if it does take a while, you WILL make friends in the end - I mean, you made friends before haven't you!) will be excellent practice for making friends at uni, and at adapting to a new environment.
Woah! I've waffled on a bit here, sorry! And I've kinda assumed you're intending to go to uni...well, if you're not, then that advice still applies anyway - you'll be well prepared to deal with whatever you choose to do after A Levels
Ok I'll shut up now...but good luck sheepgirl and let us know when you're feeling more settled
MisSurfer
I think you're really brave going to a college different to all your mates! Welldone! I considered it but decided to stay at my school 6th form instead! I still miss a couple of my mates who have gone to other colleges though
It's hard for me too - and I'm at the same college! Everything's so different to lower school, but I'm starting to settle now. I guess it'll be the same for you only take a little longer to settle...but you'll be fine soon!Remind yourself why you decided to go to that college in the first place. Try and think positively
I had a conversation at the end of year 11 with my old form tutor about how you only seem to make friends if you don't try too hard! That seems to go against everyone elses advice but I just mean make an effort but don't get too worried about it If you're sat there looking all down and sad then no-one is gonna wanna be friends with you! Sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be!Anyway, you might not realise it now but going to that college, away from all your friends, is going to be GREAT preparation for uni. Whereas I, for example, will find it a lot more difficult to settle in at uni because I'll have been in the same school for 7 years (and the same campus for 14 years!!!). That will be a big step, but you've broken that big step up a bit. Making new friends now (and even if it does take a while, you WILL make friends in the end - I mean, you made friends before haven't you!) will be excellent practice for making friends at uni, and at adapting to a new environment.
Woah! I've waffled on a bit here, sorry! And I've kinda assumed you're intending to go to uni...well, if you're not, then that advice still applies anyway - you'll be well prepared to deal with whatever you choose to do after A Levels
Ok I'll shut up now...but good luck sheepgirl and let us know when you're feeling more settled
MisSurfer
Related discussions
- would it be too late to switch schools? (year 12)
- What college should I pick?
- Choosing between colleges: Furness, Grizedale, Pendle
- Introduction
- Uni of York Accommodation
- Choosing a college
- Exploring Law Conference 2025
- Unmotivated, stuck and unsure of what to do (Year 13)
- A Level dilemma - want to keep options open
- Durham
- Questions about Trevs College Durham?
- Kellogg College Oxford
- Moving from a college to a 6th form?
- Can I attend college events if I don't live in college accommodation?
- What's Durham university like?
- Drop out of college for work at 17
- Switching from BTEC to A-Level Second Year
- LNAT Preparation
- Music Societies
- Is it easier to get an offer for Maths and Computer Science or Computer Science?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 months ago
UCAT in 6 weeks..but my father wants me to learn ALL year 13 content!?!?!?Last reply 4 months ago
A Level+ Results Day 2025 Countdown thread - UCAS Hub is open #BeResultsProudLast reply 5 months ago
Further Maths Edexcel Grade Boundaries 2025 - CP1 CP2 FM1 FS1Last reply 5 months ago
LNAT Warning – Don’t Waste Your Time (or Money) on Arbitio!!!Last reply 6 months ago
Will I be predicted A*??? BIOLOGY plsss replyLast reply 6 months ago
How do I convince my teacher to let me take A-levels
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
