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If you date someone with a 10 year + age gap, what could you possibly have in common? watch

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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    if one is vastly more mature than the other you will end up with a daddy/child relatioshp hecne why you r mom can get on with your 9 year old nephew, but woldnt marry a person that age - legal issues aside - i doubut she wold want to
    Right, and most people that get married are closer in age with similar levels of maturity. Yet, divorce is at 50 percent. So, being close in age with same level of maturity and experience isn't really working out too well is it?

    And different levels of maturity can be a benefit. Two 20 years olds going out usually don't have a clue what to do when their relationship hits a rough spot. But, if one person is older and more mature, it can be a benefit when things go wrong, as they always do.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    ^^^^ this - BEST POST! all girls always think they are more mature than their peers. even those 15 - 23 y/o who go on about how they dont do drinking/clubbing - so what? that in itself is not enough for you to have the mental maturity of a 30 or 40 year old :rolleyes:

    im 25 and i look at dudes my age dating 18 year olds and think how can that work? i'd feel like a paedo when they start talking about a levels and detentions and ****.

    all the girls on these types of threads always post
    when i read these types of posts i roll my eyes. :rolleyes:

    you hit the nail on the head. when most people see an 18 y/o with a 40 y/o most young people overlook the fact that just as many people are wondering what he sees in her, as what she sees in him.

    he is seeing a young, easily impressed naive insecure easy shag girl who doesnt expect marriage, babies, a stable job like most women his age would.and he isnt ready for all those things for one of two reasons:
    1) he is a man boy and never wants marriage or
    2) he is newly divorced and not ready for round 2.

    and yes there are some hot 35- 40+ y/o women. but they wouldnt go for him and he knows it since they would expect a proper job, proper ambitions and long term marriage or kids. so he sticks to pulling 18 y/o at McD's.
    While the 18 /is flattering her vanity thinking "omg wow he is wrinkly and 40, obviously he would be attracted to my 18 y/o beauty not to mention my extra special maturity and want to date me." he is thinking, he can spin a few tall tales and buy her a burger to show his old age chivalry and she wonet even be thingking marriage, babies or long term but instead would be impressed with his aspiring artist ambitions, and will stick around since he is DEFINATELY gonna make it big someday. from unemplyoyed basement musician age 40 to chart-topping rockstar. soon. yeah. women his age just dont understand. they work in office jobs and are victims of the system!


    this^^^^
    most of the guys i've spoken to age 28 - 45+ say this is the reason why they date younger.

    if you ask me, most dudes who is in his mid 40s and want to avoid marriage, babies, stable jobs and anything serious have major issues. these issues fall into

    1)recent divoce - and regardless of what he says it is unlikely to have been ALL his wife's fault

    2)recent widowhood - sad but still a red flag

    3) man boy syndrome. no matter how serious you think your relationship is with him, once you hit 27 and want marriage and babies, expect to get traded in. Mr 40 year old man boy aint gonna stop half a century's habit for you.

    EDIT: this isnt about 10 year age gaps, which dont really matter an awful lot. im talking about say 14+ years difference
    SO true!!!
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    (Original post by ManAbout)
    Right, and most people that get married are closer in age with similar levels of maturity. Yet, divorce is at 50 percent. So, being close in age with same level of maturity and experience isn't really working out too well is it?

    And different levels of maturity can be a benefit. Two 20 years olds going out usually don't have a clue what to do when their relationship hits a rough spot. But, if one person is older and more mature, it can be a benefit when things go wrong, as they always do.
    given that most people tend to marry at age 28-35, and most divorces happen within the first 5 years of marriage ie when that couple wuld be 33 - 40, I would suggest maturty, or lack thereof is not the cause of divorce.

    are you suggesting that if people waited EVEN LONGER to get married and married at say age 60, they would be so mature that the divorce rate would fall :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    I've seen a few posts where girls say they 'like older guys' etc. I've been thinking about this and I thought 'what could a guy in his 30s possibly have in common with someone 10 or more years younger than him?'

    I'm in my 20s now and I think to myself when I get to my 30s would I want to date younger girls...yes and no - yes because they'll be hot and good-looking, but realistically what would we have in common? I mean, we'll have grown up in different eras, so we'll be brought up on different music, different tv shows etc.

    I just don't see how it could work apart from the physical attraction really.
    Older guys are appealing lol but not too old I am 18 so maybe in his twenties is appealing not in his thirties. BDW my mum and dad have a ten years gap but they get along fine I don't know what it is but i guess one is a bit more mature and one childish so they compliment each other and their taste are quite similar not too much difference
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    There's nothing wrong with dating older guys. Im 21 and have been with my fella 3 years now and we've just got engaged. He's 13 years older than me. We have more in common than I do with people my own age. You might surprise yourself if you tried it!
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    I've seen a few posts where girls say they 'like older guys' etc. I've been thinking about this and I thought 'what could a guy in his 30s possibly have in common with someone 10 or more years younger than him?'

    I'm in my 20s now and I think to myself when I get to my 30s would I want to date younger girls...yes and no - yes because they'll be hot and good-looking, but realistically what would we have in common? I mean, we'll have grown up in different eras, so we'll be brought up on different music, different tv shows etc.

    I just don't see how it could work apart from the physical attraction really.
    Because people are different.

    I have more in common with older men than boys my own age, because I have interests commonly found in people older than myself.
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    Because people are different.

    I have more in common with older men than boys my own age, because I have interests commonly found in people older than myself.
    How much older do you like?
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    Wow, what a narrow minded thread. I must plit with my BF because the internet says so.
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    My best friend is 21 this year. Her bf is 37 this year. They have been together for just over a year and it seems to be a pretty stable relationship. They are so in love it is quite sickening! They have loads in common, but like any other relationship they have their differences. Tbh, you dont really notice the age gap between them and they are happy. He has 2 children from previous relationships and they quite often do things together. They have discussed kids and marriage etc so it seems to be going well for her!!!!
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    I just think that age doesn't matter in most cases.

    A few of my best friends are 10+ years older than me, some of them are younger than me, some are my age. I've dated people who are younger/same age/older than me. I just don't see how a number in your birth certificate matters THAT much..
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    There's 10 years between my boyfriend and me.

    We have plenty of things in common and plenty of differences - just like my other boyfriends who were closer to my age. I think I can cope with not having watched 'Button Moon' when I was younger - it generally doesn't come up in conversation! As for different music, we both like all sorts of music from different decades and it's good to introduce each other to new stuff.

    I'm the first girl he's dated who has been more than 2 or 3 years younger than him. I doubt very much he wants me *just* for sex or my 'hot body'. Although I wouldn't blame him I have to admit, sex with an older, experienced man is a turn on so I guess it's the same the other way around for him. Sex is a huge part of any relationship, but we do lots of other things together, and he really is devoted to me (and I to him!).

    The only problem I've encountered is his friends. Some of the ones that live near us are a little... snooty. They look down their nose at me and try and exclude me from things. However, his oldest friends (school and uni friends) are all fabulous and I get on so well with them. They admitted it was a little weird at first, but now they know me they think we are a great couple

    I also have friends who are older than me and friends who are younger than me. We enjoy each other's company because we like each other! Age doesn't even come into it.

    Sorry for the essay, but I think if people are in a relationship and they like each other and things are going great then leave them to it. Even if it's going ****, still, it's none of anyone else's business! Who cares what the age gap is like? My boyfriend is awesome because he is him :love:
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    How much older do you like?
    Anything from 2 years up.
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    sex (gender)
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    Hmm it seems you think that just because someone is in their thirties that they aren't interested in whats going on in todays modern world??

    Me and my OH are complete science geeks and with him working in industry he has to keep up woth modern science and knows alot about the history of it too.

    We also both love the same music which includes music from any era or genre. I don't understand why you think someone who is "older" Wouldn't be interested in anything post 1990???

    You're weird.
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    (Original post by MissGeekness)
    I don't understand why you think someone who is "older" Wouldn't be interested in anything post 1990???

    You're weird.
    A lot of reasons. Usually, jealousy. It suits them to think that way, so that they can push their own agenda. In the majority of these large gap relationships, the older one is the male.

    Younger guys don't like it because they feel like older guys are fishing in their waters.

    Older women don't like it, because, well they hate being passed over for the younger, usually more attractive girls.

    Then of course there are the feminists who hate men and think that such relationships are unequal and result in men exploiting women.. blah.. blah.. blah.. But, of course most feminists are usually old hags anyway, so they use the power imbalance argument to try and cover up their bitterness over being ignored by men their own age.
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    You have in common the fact you have nothing in common.
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    I've seen a few posts where girls say they 'like older guys' etc. I've been thinking about this and I thought 'what could a guy in his 30s possibly have in common with someone 10 or more years younger than him?'

    I'm in my 20s now and I think to myself when I get to my 30s would I want to date younger girls...yes and no - yes because they'll be hot and good-looking, but realistically what would we have in common? I mean, we'll have grown up in different eras, so we'll be brought up on different music, different tv shows etc.

    I just don't see how it could work apart from the physical attraction really.
    In a lot of cases, there will be mutual desperation, seeing as they can't find anyone closer to their own age. I'm not saying it can't be love, or attraction to personality etc, but lust has taken over from love somewhat in this day and age.
 
 
 
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