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    “This girl that I have been messing around with now wants a relationship with me and how do I tell her that I don’t want that?”

    This is the super-over used email that I get from guys around the globe and my answer is always the same, “Be honest with your intentions.”

    In our western culture, we are socially conditioned to believe that having **** buddies or dating multiple women is a bad thing. It is social norm to assume that when you are dating a woman, then that has to be the only woman that you are going to be dating and she will believe this too. What this social belief does to you is it simply puts the fear in you, the fear that by expressing your intentions early on will result to a woman being disgusted and leaving you. However even though that this socially accepted belief is intact, many men and women will still go have multiple relationships and **** buddies. These men and women aren’t sluts either. They are also men and women who believe in love and want to get married someday. However, they are acting out a desire and fantasy of being sexually explored and ravaged by a variety of different partners. As humans, we are very adaptable to situations and can adapt our standards to act out our drives.
    At the beginning of any relationship or friendship there is a process in which you create boundaries for each other and test how far you can step over each other’s boundaries. Naturally, the one with the stronger boundary will have more power in the relationship. There are mental category slots in your mind that you place relationships with people in, for example, it wouldn’t feel comfortable slotting a family member into a sexual category slot and vice versa. When a woman feels no attraction for you then she will be more inclined to place you in the “Let’s just be friends” mental slot category.

    What most guys do not know is that when you are at the early stages with a girl, she is looking to place you in a mental category slot. A woman is always pinging to understand which mental category slot to place you in and can be quite emotionally painful for her when she doesn’t know where to slot you. This is why women constantly have the “Defining the relationship” talk or constantly ask you “What are we?”

    When you are not honest with your intentions and just go with the flow, what happens is that society standards take over and influences her to place you in a mental category slot as relationship material or something more. Society standards and beliefs are always default, so if you do not lead or state your intentions, you risk having a relationship on false pretenses.

    Women only cling on emotionally with false pretenses and when they feel that you “Led them on” because you didn’t lead the relationship and state your intentions with her. This is where the emotional drama kicks in and why her negative emotions take over and make her do irrational things because you conflicted with her mental category slot.

    When you are honest with your intentions at the beginning and you tell her you want to see other people as well her, then she will place you in the “**** buddy” or “Open relationship” slot and act accordingly with it. A woman will accept your liking of variety and dating other women if you state your intentions early and don’t allow her to step over that boundary. If a woman is attracted to you and you state your intentions early, she may test your boundaries by logically arguing with it at first but deep down she will be cool with it and may find it interesting. When you state your intentions, you are becoming more attractive to her because she knows she is in the presence of a man who knows what her wants and doesn’t fall back on his own beliefs.
    A woman can never be clingy with a man who states his intentions and doesn’t back down on his belief. When a woman is in the presence of a man who clearly knows what he wants with her, be it open relationship or **** buddy, then she will adapt to his standards to please her sexual drives. This is also exciting and new for a woman to explore and gives her the freedom to grow sexually and enjoy a variety of sexual partners too.

    A huge problem is that most men don’t even know what they want, so they get into a relationship without stating their intentions only to realize that all along they just wanted a **** buddy. When they get an emotionally upset woman because she wanted more and he didn’t define the relationship, then she gets *****y and he writes it off as, “Oh, she was low self esteem” or “She was so clingy and needy anyways.” The man will see her as a clingy girl and get scared, while the woman will perceive him to be a creep who just wanted her for sex and had to lead her on to get what he wanted. When you state your intentions early, you do this at the very beginning and this can also even be after you have had sex but it has to be when you have shared something either emotional or psychical with her. This will normally happen after you have had sex and you are getting to connect with her, because that is when she will slot you in a mental category.

    I always state my intentions like this. I will tell a woman “I want you to know that you’re an awesome person and I want to share more adventures with you, but I have to tell you that I can never be in a relationship, I like variety and like to have open relationships. We can have all the fun, all the passion, all the adventures, we can hold each other in our arms and do what lovers do but we can never have the commitment of a relationship. So I can tell you that being with me you will grow with me and we will grow fond of each and it will evolve, but never to commitment because I like open relationships and if you’re not cool with that then I understand.”

    Women thank and respect me for being honest and become more attracted to me for saying this. We always end up having more sex and she places me in the “Open relationship” mental category slot. We end up as lovers without the commitment and enjoy a variety of sexual partners and it is new and interesting to her. I have not had one woman who I stated my intentions to early that became clingy and needy with me
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    Yawn.
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    tldr
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    I literally didn't read a word of that, just subconciously noted that due to the density of the text and the nature of the topic, 3/4 of a mouse scroll's worth of text is not within my limits of caring this morning... :p:

    Yes yes, pointless post is pointless. :rolleyes:
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    lol women r so stupid
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    (Original post by Guitar_Man)
    “This girl that I have been messing around with now wants a relationship with me and how do I tell her that I don’t want that?”

    This is the super-over used email that I get from guys around the globe and my answer is always the same, “Be honest with your intentions.”

    In our western culture, we are socially conditioned to believe that having **** buddies or dating multiple women is a bad thing. It is social norm to assume that when you are dating a woman, then that has to be the only woman that you are going to be dating and she will believe this too. What this social belief does to you is it simply puts the fear in you, the fear that by expressing your intentions early on will result to a woman being disgusted and leaving you. However even though that this socially accepted belief is intact, many men and women will still go have multiple relationships and **** buddies. These men and women aren’t sluts either. They are also men and women who believe in love and want to get married someday. However, they are acting out a desire and fantasy of being sexually explored and ravaged by a variety of different partners. As humans, we are very adaptable to situations and can adapt our standards to act out our drives.
    At the beginning of any relationship or friendship there is a process in which you create boundaries for each other and test how far you can step over each other’s boundaries. Naturally, the one with the stronger boundary will have more power in the relationship. There are mental category slots in your mind that you place relationships with people in, for example, it wouldn’t feel comfortable slotting a family member into a sexual category slot and vice versa. When a woman feels no attraction for you then she will be more inclined to place you in the “Let’s just be friends” mental slot category.

    What most guys do not know is that when you are at the early stages with a girl, she is looking to place you in a mental category slot. A woman is always pinging to understand which mental category slot to place you in and can be quite emotionally painful for her when she doesn’t know where to slot you. This is why women constantly have the “Defining the relationship” talk or constantly ask you “What are we?”

    When you are not honest with your intentions and just go with the flow, what happens is that society standards take over and influences her to place you in a mental category slot as relationship material or something more. Society standards and beliefs are always default, so if you do not lead or state your intentions, you risk having a relationship on false pretenses.

    Women only cling on emotionally with false pretenses and when they feel that you “Led them on” because you didn’t lead the relationship and state your intentions with her. This is where the emotional drama kicks in and why her negative emotions take over and make her do irrational things because you conflicted with her mental category slot.

    When you are honest with your intentions at the beginning and you tell her you want to see other people as well her, then she will place you in the “**** buddy” or “Open relationship” slot and act accordingly with it. A woman will accept your liking of variety and dating other women if you state your intentions early and don’t allow her to step over that boundary. If a woman is attracted to you and you state your intentions early, she may test your boundaries by logically arguing with it at first but deep down she will be cool with it and may find it interesting. When you state your intentions, you are becoming more attractive to her because she knows she is in the presence of a man who knows what her wants and doesn’t fall back on his own beliefs.
    A woman can never be clingy with a man who states his intentions and doesn’t back down on his belief. When a woman is in the presence of a man who clearly knows what he wants with her, be it open relationship or **** buddy, then she will adapt to his standards to please her sexual drives. This is also exciting and new for a woman to explore and gives her the freedom to grow sexually and enjoy a variety of sexual partners too.

    A huge problem is that most men don’t even know what they want, so they get into a relationship without stating their intentions only to realize that all along they just wanted a **** buddy. When they get an emotionally upset woman because she wanted more and he didn’t define the relationship, then she gets *****y and he writes it off as, “Oh, she was low self esteem” or “She was so clingy and needy anyways.” The man will see her as a clingy girl and get scared, while the woman will perceive him to be a creep who just wanted her for sex and had to lead her on to get what he wanted. When you state your intentions early, you do this at the very beginning and this can also even be after you have had sex but it has to be when you have shared something either emotional or psychical with her. This will normally happen after you have had sex and you are getting to connect with her, because that is when she will slot you in a mental category.

    I always state my intentions like this. I will tell a woman “I want you to know that you’re an awesome person and I want to share more adventures with you, but I have to tell you that I can never be in a relationship, I like variety and like to have open relationships. We can have all the fun, all the passion, all the adventures, we can hold each other in our arms and do what lovers do but we can never have the commitment of a relationship. So I can tell you that being with me you will grow with me and we will grow fond of each and it will evolve, but never to commitment because I like open relationships and if you’re not cool with that then I understand.”

    Women thank and respect me for being honest and become more attracted to me for saying this. We always end up having more sex and she places me in the “Open relationship” mental category slot. We end up as lovers without the commitment and enjoy a variety of sexual partners and it is new and interesting to her. I have not had one woman who I stated my intentions to early that became clingy and needy with me
    dude that was one long ass speech but you hv a point
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    Political Ambassador
    Be honest with women tell them what you want got it.
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    bow chicka wah wah
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    (Original post by Emperor)
    dude that was one long ass speech but you hv a point

    Don't encourage it.
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    cheers
 
 
 
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