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I think university is making me into a sorry, bitter individual.

I know this might be somewhat of a long read, but please do read it if you think you can help me. I would so very much appreciate it. I so badly need somebody’s help. I don’t want to be malicious as well as miserable for the so-called best years of my life.

I’ve been here just under a week now and I already see it happening. I’m motivated enough to get through my degree no matter how **** my social life is but I don’t think I’ll like who I am at the end of my three years here.
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I don’t want to sounds too big headed but I think I’m a nice guy. I volunteer, I give to charity, and I’ll talk to anybody without prejudging them. It’s just, after a few experiences I’ve already had at university so far, I keep thinking acrimonious and somewhat racist things in my head.

Let me tell you about my experiences so far. I am doing everything to enjoy university. From saying hello to complete randomers (even though I’m actually pretty shy), to leaving my door open, to texting new friends asking what they’re doing tonight, I’ve joined so societies that I’m genuinely intrigued about and I intend to enjoy them, I might help out with the halls of residence committee, etc, etc. I’ve done all of that. I still don’t know how to fix my problem here.

The experiences that have made me very bitter so far are these:
I’ve already heard from current and previous students to my uni how segregated and “cliquey” the university can be. I thought it couldn’t be that bad.
My first day, I’m talking to a certain Chinese gentleman, saying hello, just being friendly down by the bar where everybody is getting to know each other. I’m asking where he’s been, what he’s doing, etc. Just being nice. He answers me questions and halfway through our chat looks away and says, “I need to find some Asians to talk to”. What? Okay. Bit rude.
The next day, people are down by the common room area again and I see two different Chinese guys playing some video game. I have no interest in it really, but I just want to be friendly so I say “oh, is that pro evo?” and they both turn to look at me, then turn back and talk in Chinese to each other. I just walk away.
And then, what really, really, annoyed me was last night. I’m playing pool with some guy and I hear another completely different Asian person talking to my pool friend, and he literally said, and I quote word for word “Yeah, I don’t tend to like English people very much” and he actually pointed to me subtly as he said that. I kid you not. I actually found that very rude, but in a desperate attempt at brushing off what could be a bad joke, I say “oh, I’m sorry, bless, want a hug?” in a joking manner and he just starts saying how that’s weird, and no he doesn’t like contact with people he doesn’t know. Irony lost obviously.
And today, my next door neighbour, who always has friends round and who only actually talks English if I talk to her, was talking to some guy on the stairs as I was walking past. I stop to say hello, waiting for them to finish their conversation. As they finish their conversation they both walk separate ways without saying anything to me. I was standing there for like two minutes. I was obviously waiting to talk to them. And they were talking about the local club they and everybody in my halls is going to later. AND I’m pretty sure my neighbour steals my food that I leave in the kitchen because only we are in the flat and it’s gone missing.

I hate racism. I hate it. I’m not kind of person to tell or laugh at racist jokes. I’ll be nice to anybody. Is it racist of me to say “oh no, it’s not me. Everybody else is racist to me, the English white guy”?

I don’t know what to do. I’d hate to turn into a horrible, unlovable, bitter person.

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Urgh, sucks :frown:

Hang around with white people then?

Reply 3

Justin Bieber

dude....thats the real world. you got the rest of your life in it....aint got no momma now you know.... pm if you want advice on how to handle people...i do it all the time with my life! (Y) :biggrin:

Reply 4

Talon

Im afraid thats the way university is. When I did my degree there were many foreign students and there were two chinese girls living in my flat (large 8 room affairs). Unfortunately they tend to keep to themselves. During my degree I only met one chinese person actively wanted to be friends with me (and I like to think I am a friendly person). Don't waste your time with people who aren't interested in being friends with you and don't let it get you down.

Reply 5

The Cornerstone

Why do you only talk to asians? There is other people you know. (unless you're somewhere in Asia)

Reply 6

MancBoy

Now you know how it feels to be ethnic...jk. Nah seriously not everyone is like that. Just don't use it as an excuse to be racist which most racist people do.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 7

darkred

When they ignore you, just shout out: 'YEAH THATS RIGHT, I'M A ONE MAN SHOW.' :smug:

OR you can try and talk to english ppl then?

Reply 8

Redreynard

i imagine that the chinese folk sense that you are only being friendly because you have a liberal, white need to have a couple of foreign friends. and they don't want to be your tokens.
i recommend you watch a good old fashioned seaside comic. you'll soon lose yours sissy ways.

Reply 9

piszczel

Welcome to the real world. Prejudice and racism are not things people usually talk about openly, but everyone's a bit prejudiced or racist, that's just the way we are, whether you are black, white, asian or green.
You need to get over your idealistic view of the world and accept that not everyone likes you, even if they haven't met you yet.

Tbh from your post you sound like either a troll or some dildo who's been sucking on his mommy's tit for too long. I'm guessing the latter.

Reply 10

Fat-Love

learn to friend with white/blacks.

P.S do you go to imperial by any chance?

Reply 11

fishy466

hang out with the whites...... this is becoming like american history x...

lol,

what uni is it? i hope my uni is not full of foreigners who dont want to mix with this countrys people.

Reply 12

Simplicity

Guys you are getting trolled.

Reply 13

Aj12

Stop talking to Chinese people then. Its obvious you have a bunch of racist pricks at your uni.

Reply 14

Peel

For those asking, it's not Imperial as halls haven't opened yet.

You should be really proud that you're overcoming your shyness and speaking to people! Don't get disheartened by a few people's actions - there's people who behave like that everywhere, and if they're that rude they probably not worth your time, and not worth getting upset over. Just keep at it, you'll meet some great internationals if you just give it some time. I go to a pretty international uni, and yeah you do get people like that (from all sorts of races) but it's definitely worth putting in the effort.

Reply 15

TheSownRose

Stop trying to befriend the Asians then. :lolwut:

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Sorry, but how is this a troll? In what way is this a troll? Is post somehow funny? You've always been an idiot Simplicity.

Avoiding the Chinese students and only talking to white people in the ******** advice I've ever heard.

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

OMG Same situation here!

What uni are you at - is it up North by any chance?
I'm in halls and ALL of my hallmates are Chinese - not one of them will speak to me but they all speak to each other. The other day in the kitchen I walked in and it was just one of them on their own so I thought I try again with them. The barely said a word to me - I was just trying to make polite conversation for God's sake. Anyway, in walks 2 other Chinese people and they don't even say hello to me. Suddenly, the 3 of them are chatting in Chinese, so I picked up my dinner and went to my room.
I haven't spoken to them since and I'm not going to bother with them again.

If it was the other way around - white people and 1 chinese person, the white people would be accused of racism. I don't know why other cultures think they can get away with it but I'm too chicken to report them. They are so rude. I hate them.

Problem is, I've never had Chinese friends (not through choice - I just happen not to have) so they're giving me a really bad impression. I just see the around (Chinese) on campus and don't even bother with any of them now.

I know they can't all be like that but I'm at the point now where I'd rather stick to what I know rather than risk being treated like crap.

Reply 18

pimpman777

I find this very hard to believe... you've been in seriously stranger-than-normal circumstances! Yeah ethnics do keep to themselves most of the time but in no way are they this rude!

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 19

lizlaz350

Don't AVOID the Chinese students, but if they're the only people that you're attempting to talk to and they've made it clear that they don't want you to, perhaps give them space and try talking to some other people.