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Advice needed from muslim perspective watch

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    #1

    I would have went to the ask a muslim thread but i cant be anon there so here goes:

    I'm 18 muslim, and at uni and ever since at uni theres been lots of temptations to go clubbing,partying with my friends and basically enter a relationship and stuff...

    There is a personality clash i have between my persona which i had before as a devout muslim and the temptations which i am now faced with, so i came with a possible solution...

    So my question is this: I cant get married until i get my degree, as thats how asians go by things, so i'm thinking erm can i engaged to someone for the duration of 4 years and then marry them? Is this a good idea?

    That way i can tell any girl that im not interested as im engaged and can turn down peer pressure ( from other so called muslim players regarding girls) plus i'll have peace of mind knowing ill be with that girl after a duration of time....

    Thanks...
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    Give in to those temptations and stop living your life according to a book from the middle ages.
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    (Original post by thisisnew)
    Give in to those temptations and stop living your life according to a book from the middle ages.
    This. I believe in God but organised religion pisses me off. Sure murder someone you will burn in hell but enjoying life by having a few drinks and sex?
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    lol dude...listen to some silly story some guy made up 1000000000000000 years ago or life your life....nothing will happen if you break those rules...omg a curse of allah...
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    Your sky fairy of choice is not going to care.
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    as thats how asians go by things, so i'm thinking erm can i engaged to someone for the duration of 4 years and then marry them? Is this a good idea?
    Yes of course, there two stages, engagement and nikah, engagement is when you propose an oath of commitment, and nikah is when you fulfill it.

    You dont need a ceremony or anything like that, you just need a suitable dowry (gift), a commitment (best to have a written on paper) and a couple of witnesses.

    And what is the point of clubbing, people (well guys) just go there to get smashed off alcohol, or the hope for promiscous/casual sex. Both Which will harm you and lead you astray in life and from Islam.

    PM me for details.
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    (Original post by Naffy)
    Yes of course, there two stages, engagement and nikah, engagement is when you propose an oath of commitment, and nikah is when you fulfill it.

    You dont need a ceremony or anything like that, you just need a suitable dowry (gift), a commitment (best to have a written on paper) and a couple of witnesses

    And what is the point of clubbing, people (well guys) just go there to get smashed of alcohol, or the hope for promiscous/casual sex. Which will lead you astray from Islam
    Thanks mate
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    do what you believe is best, no point in asking in here because the majority of responses will be discouraging your religion!!
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    Which will lead you astray from Islam
    Away from Islam and into the year 2010. Sounds good to me.
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    Akhee dont listen to these particular non Muslim fools who will encourage you to every type of moral depravity.

    My sincere advice to you as your brother is to hang around with people who will remind you to do good, people who pray on time, people who lower their gazes from women out of humbleness. Only thenyou can stay away from such temptations.
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    People here will always condemn you for holding a religious point of view - not a good place to ask bro.
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    (Original post by subzero90)
    Akhee dont listen to these particular non Muslim fools who will encourage you to every type of moral depravity.

    My sincere advice to you as your brother is to hang around with people who will remind you to do good, people who pray on time, people who lower their gazes from women out of humbleness. Only thenyou can stay away from such temptations.
    Hmm that is good advice bro, but the problem is theres hardly any pious people like that at uni, most muslims sadly are corrupt.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm that is good advice bro, but the problem is theres hardly any pious people like that at uni, most muslims sadly are corrupt.
    Akhee, Muhammad Ali, the greatest Boxer, he said that he used to keep a lighter in his pocket so when he felt tempted to sin, he put his hand over the lighter for a few seconds till he could bear it no more and said to himself. If I cant bear this for a few seconds, how can I bear hell if I do such and such.

    Its a good advice to keep in mind akhee.

    May Allaah make it easy for you
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    Overcoming temptations is a test in Islam.. Depends if your strong enough...
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    Assalamu Alaikum.

    You can get nikkah done. But in the mean time, stay away from the opposite gender, meaning, don't talk to them unless you really need to. Avoid casual chit chat. Also choose good Muslim friends. Join the Isoc at your university and make some good Muslim friends there. Ask them for advice. http://www.ummah.com/ < here is a Muslim forum you can get advice from. I hope you find out what you want inshallah.

    But whatever happens, do NOT give into temptations. These are the desires of shaitans trap. Seek refuge in Allah (subhana wa'a ta'ala) from shaitan and don't go clubbing or anything like that, Be good Stay Strong!! Hang in there bro! After hardship comes ease.

    And don't listen to Non-Muslims who are trying to put you off. You have Islam, you have the truth! You will get your reward.

    "Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allah has the excellent return with Him." (3:14)
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    http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000...ll_xlarge.jpeg

    **** religion.
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    This is why you don't ask such questions on general forums.
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    Oh no the guy that thinks you're 99% guaranteed to turn out bad for not following Islam is now ignoring me. How will I ever resist the temptations to **** my own family and stone people to death without his divine guidance? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm that is good advice bro, but the problem is theres hardly any pious people like that at uni, most muslims sadly are corrupt.
    Assalaamu alaykum,

    That is not true brother. Go to the prayer rooms, and the people you find in there will be better than those who do not take time out of their day to offer their salaah.

    Furthermore, if you choose to get engaged to a girl, you are still haraam for each other, and cannot be alone together in private, let alone touch them. If you can convince your parents, then you should try to get married now. Having a degree and a high paying job are not conditions to get married.

    Finally, entering into places such as bars is going to do you no good. You will be entering into a place where there is free-mixing, lewdness, intoxication. Nothing but harm will come from you entering such a place.

    The best advice is to seek out some good brothers to spend your time with. Obviously, you will have to make some effort, if you wish to stay firm in your faith.

    May Allah make it easy for you.

    -
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would have went to the ask a muslim thread but i cant be anon there so here goes:

    I'm 18 muslim, and at uni and ever since at uni theres been lots of temptations to go clubbing,partying with my friends and basically enter a relationship and stuff...

    There is a personality clash i have between my persona which i had before as a devout muslim and the temptations which i am now faced with, so i came with a possible solution...

    So my question is this: I cant get married until i get my degree, as thats how asians go by things, so i'm thinking erm can i engaged to someone for the duration of 4 years and then marry them? Is this a good idea?

    That way i can tell any girl that im not interested as im engaged and can turn down peer pressure ( from other so called muslim players regarding girls) plus i'll have peace of mind knowing ill be with that girl after a duration of time....

    Thanks...
    Mashallah, its good 2 knw that u want 2 do everything the right way may Allah reward u for that, I knw there are so many muslim guys who give in 2 temptation & end up committing zina, but yeah the uni envronment is as such so it must be very hard for them, remember if u leave something for the sake of Allah, then Allah will compensate u with somethin better than it i.e. leavin the clubbing etc. Allah will inshallah reward u with somethin better maybe in this life or the next, getting engaged will allow u 2 lower ur gaze and therefore stop u frm sinning, i think it is a gud idea 2 get engaged but the problem is that i dunno if ur pakistani but yeah alot of pakistani parents think 4 yrs engagement is too long & anything could happen i.e. the engagement break in that time but yeah thats jus a t.p. view but being engaged by islamic contract would allow u 2 talk to the girl in a halal way without a mahram bein present whereas anyways the 3rd person between a girl and guy is shaitan, i wish u all the best may Allah show u the right way & rememba ask Allah 2 help u, feel free 2 ask me anythin else
 
 
 
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