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Am I wrong to act the same way with everyone? watch

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    (Original post by Stefan1991)
    Logically what you're saying is that because you aren't prepared to change your behaviour and be nice and friendly to people because it would be "changing your persona" (haven't you considered that ) and yet you expect people to behave in a certain way (being friendly to yourself), can you see how logically contradicts?

    How is it not in your personality to be nice and friendly? Why do you expect friends when you aren't nice and friendly? Maybe you need to change, you have decided what your personality is and isn't when really everyone acts in the manner that suits them in that situation.
    I did not say I don't want to be nice and friendly, and in fact people will probably say I am nice and friendly. I have not *****ed about someone behind their back for years because I realised that is out of order. My point was that I am incapable of going into a group of people and immediately be the focus of attention, and as a result of that I also feel insecure and unwanted a bit as the quiet one. Why do you presume I go out of my way to be grumpy?
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    It's called being friendly.
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    (Original post by rliu)
    I did not say I don't want to be nice and friendly, and in fact people will probably say I am nice and friendly. I have not *****ed about someone behind their back for years because I realised that is out of order. My point was that I am incapable of going into a group of people and immediately be the focus of attention, and as a result of that I also feel insecure and unwanted a bit as the quiet one. Why do you presume I go out of my way to be grumpy?
    That's how you made it sound, saying you shouldn't have to change your personality to make friends I presumed then your personality isn't a very friendly one. And you sounded grumpy.

    If you want to be more interested, you will have to change. Get more involved in conversations, it might be harder in a group so start having conversations one on one with someone and then when you're in a group conversation with someone they will notice you more. Don't be afraid of making jokes, are you one of those people who can think of a joke or something funny to say but hesitates too much and then doesn't say it? If you are you should, just be observant and point out funny things. It's not hard.
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    So few of you are trying to see things from my point of view and give well thought out answers, let's hope none of you ever advise someone more fragile and downbeat than I am.
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    (Original post by Stefan1991)
    That's how you made it sound, saying you shouldn't have to change your personality to make friends I presumed then your personality isn't a very friendly one. And you sounded grumpy.

    If you want to be more interested, you will have to change. Get more involved in conversations, it might be harder in a group so start having conversations one on one with someone and then when you're in a group conversation with someone they will notice you more. Don't be afraid of making jokes, are you one of those people who can think of a joke or something funny to say but hesitates too much and then doesn't say it? If you are you should, just be observant and point out funny things. It's not hard.
    Let me give you a better picture. If someone speaks to me I always respond positively and look interested and ask them things as well. I am not one of those people who act like a grumpy teenager when their parents ask them how their school day is. But I still find it hard also to maintain new friendships, I am a bit insecure and un-confident, and when people start being awkward around me because I have been a bit quiet it's just a downward spiral from there.
 
 
 
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