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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Hey I dont like it when the ex is still in the picture either. I've had too many problems with them in the past - two boyfriends cheated on me with their exes (so much for the usual "we're just good friends" crap) and I actually left my current boyfriend for a while when I saw just how close he was to his ex (far, far too close, you'd think they were still shagging). So I understand. If someone is in the past they should stay there.
    This post gains my stamp of approval.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been dating this girl for a month now, we are in love,
    That's the problem, you aren't socially able.
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    #1

    she says she'll stop talking to him if thats what I want, I don't know what to say to that!
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    Say yes!
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    tell her what you want... if she doesnt comply leave her cause she obviously doesnt care about you.. sometimes you have to be selfish for your sanity's sake
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    if she loves you, i know it's extreme, she should be able to let go of her ex. i don't understand why she still needs him in her life if they broke up ?

    and i think if they're talking on a regular basis then that's just weird and unnecessary.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she says she'll stop talking to him if thats what I want, I don't know what to say to that!
    you should give her hints on how it is what you want but don't give her a it's either me or him
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    1. You're not in love.
    2. Just say you're slightly uncomfortable with how close she is to her ex. You shouldn't say she can't see him as she may resent you for it and may just drive her back to him anyway.
    3. If you're both mature about it, this shouldn't be an issue really.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well she knows that I am possessive, I wouldn't go on the me or him route so early on (thank you)
    I guess they must be talking for at least 15 mins! Gosh, it drives me crazy! Too possessive :mad:
    Having your gf know of your 'behaviour' does not excuse it. You should be looking to change this, instead of have her work round it. She'll get resentful and it'll do more damage. And 15mins a week? Talk about an overreaction.

    (Original post by Hotstuff.)
    if she loves you, i know it's extreme, she should be able to let go of her ex. i don't understand why she still needs him in her life if they broke up ?
    Because life isn't as simple as you're making it out to be.
    I'm still friends with my ex, chat to him a lot, we're there for each other as friends when we need each other.
    Whilst I don't see him much, I understand the phone calls would lessen if either of us met someone else.
    But I'd never have someone tell me who I could and couldn't see and I'd never try to do the same to someone else. My past is not to be judged by someone new; they either trust me and take a mature view of the situation, or **** off and try to control someone else.
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    You sound like my ex.
    He's an ex for a reason.
    Let her be her own person or she will eventually resent you for it.
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    Because life isn't as simple as you're making it out to be.
    I'm still friends with my ex, chat to him a lot, we're there for each other as friends when we need each other.
    Whilst I don't see him much, I understand the phone calls would lessen if either of us met someone else.
    But I'd never have someone tell me who I could and couldn't see and I'd never try to do the same to someone else. My past is not to be judged by someone new; they either trust me and take a mature view of the situation, or **** off and try to control someone else.
    i'm not trying to say life is simple, yeah but if you love someone that much you should be willing to sacrifice for them.
    and you don't see your ex much whereas this girls on the phone to her ex on a regular basis which makes things suspicious.
    im not saying cut off all ties for the one you love, but prove to them that they can trust you..
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    (Original post by little_red_sox)
    You sound like an insecure, possessive wierdo, to be honest.
    Your sig is just awesome.
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    1. You're not in love.
    2. Just say you're slightly uncomfortable with how close she is to her ex. You shouldn't say she can't see him as she may resent you for it and may just drive her back to him anyway.
    3. If you're both mature about it, this shouldn't be an issue really.
    Everything he says.

    I would definitely want to stay close friends with my boyfriend should we ever break up. We've been through a lot (especially him helping me) and I will always love and care for him in some way, even if not romantically. I treasure our friendship enough to not let some insecurity from any future boyfriend ruin it.

    A call once a week is not a lot, get over it.
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    (Original post by Hotstuff.)
    i'm not trying to say life is simple, yeah but if you love someone that much you should be willing to sacrifice for them.
    and you don't see your ex much whereas this girls on the phone to her ex on a regular basis which makes things suspicious.
    im not saying cut off all ties for the one you love, but prove to them that they can trust you..
    No, if anything, my situation would be more worrisome for the OP than the one he's actually in.
    To clarify; I see my ex about twice a month but we text, if not ring, everyday.

    OP's gf talks to ex 15mins a week.

    That is nothing to worry about. The gf has 'nothing' to prove - if she pandered to the OP's need not to have her anywhere round someone with a history, she'd end up being able to see far fewer people she knew.
    What next, she's not allowed to talk to a guy ever in case the OP freaks?
    No thanks.
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    No, if anything, my situation would be more worrisome for the OP than the one he's actually in.
    To clarify; I see my ex about twice a month but we text, if not ring, everyday.

    OP's gf talks to ex 15mins a week.

    That is nothing to worry about. The gf has 'nothing' to prove - if she pandered to the OP's need not to have her anywhere round someone with a history, she'd end up being able to see far fewer people she knew.
    What next, she's not allowed to talk to a guy ever in case the OP freaks?
    No thanks.

    but she can cool down the amount she talks to her ex for a while, i don't see anything wrong with that...
    you've only been in the relationship for a month, so if you want it to work and progress, you'd do anything.
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    I have an emotional bond with all of my exes. It's called "friendship". If you can't handle handle your girlfriend being in contact with her ex, you're not mature enough for a relationship, end of story.
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    This is a tough situation. Play your cards carefully here. Try to chill and relax about them speaking now and again but if they do get really really close then I think you should maybe tell her how you feel.
    Just trust her for now If they were together for a long time, then it is difficult to lose contact suddenly, as time progresses the amount of talking should probably decrease... but every person is different.
    Love is a tricky game eh :p:
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    We have resolved the issue between us, she won't be talking to him

    Few things I should have mentioned earlier

    1. I don't like him talking to her, because he always tries to talk her out of the relationship, otherwise its not a problem as such, he talks **** about me! and He doesn't even know me!
    2. He doesn't seem like he is over her, they didn't speak for a long time before she started dating me, why did the weekly calls start after we started dating?
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    (Original post by Rossshaw)
    This is a tough situation. Play your cards carefully here. Try to chill and relax about them speaking now and again but if they do get really really close then I think you should maybe tell her how you feel.
    Just trust her for now If they were together for a long time, then it is difficult to lose contact suddenly, as time progresses the amount of talking should probably decrease... but every person is different.
    Love is a tricky game eh :p:
    I agree with you

    Its tricky :o:
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Hey I dont like it when the ex is still in the picture either. I've had too many problems with them in the past - two boyfriends cheated on me with their exes (so much for the usual "we're just good friends" crap) and I actually left my current boyfriend for a while when I saw just how close he was to his ex (far, far too close, you'd think they were still shagging). So I understand. If someone is in the past they should stay there.
    I agree with this.

    I don't think i can be friends with my ex.
 
 
 
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