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    I'm with him for 3 years now and its the best relationship I've had by miles, he's a great guy and I am truly in love with him.

    I don't know what happened or what I did but all of a sudden a week ago he started to keep less contact and he kept delaying plans to see me. He always makes time for our relationship even when he has a really busy he day he will come to see me as late as midnight.

    I asked him what's wrong and he said (on msn):

    "Nothing is wrong, if you had done something I would tell you I just want some space to be honest I've realised that I'm losing my individuality and haven't focused on me or my life lately. You're not the only thing in my life, stupidly I've lived my life as if you are but I think a relationship should be just a very small component of my life I have much more important priorities."

    I don't know whats changed but this felt like a slap in the face and I'm so hurt by this
    Now he doesn't call he only texts once a day a quick short one just to say he hopes I'm well and had a good day.

    How do I deal with this??? this has made me so ill I've lost my appetite so I'm not eating much it just feels like I'm losing the love of my life and he will end it soon

    I really need advice on how to cope, thats the only thing I can do just cope with it because I can't force him to want to be more involved in the relationship like it used to be.
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    Give him space, you asked him what was wrong and you got the truth If you try to cling onto him now it will only push him further away.
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    Basically he's saying he has spent too much time focusing on you and the relationship and now it's time for some 'me-time' for him.

    Can't blame a guy for wanting to live his life and setting priorities :dontknow:
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    What was your relationship like before? In the first 18 months of mine, we spent every spare hour together, which was amazing and I really enjoyed it. But I realised that I'd lost all my friends by losing contact, that I never played my guitar any more, and I craved doing mundane things like going on forums and watching telly on my own. At first I just overreacted to it and would argue and walk out, or just lie about having things to do so I could go home. But eventually our relationship evolved so she still felt loved and I felt independent. Don't panic, it's probably just a phase and he'll move past it.
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    i dont wanna sound harsh but from what he said it seems like he doesnt feel the same as you do for him... cus hes not just asking for space hes basically said there are more important things and you shouldnt need to put up with that. how much do u see each other normally? its almost like u need to show him that you dont need him to be happy, guys seem to need a chase now and then. i have been in the same situation and i basically just agreed and went along with it and ignored my partner for a while... that sent him running back to me.
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    (Original post by curl oasis)
    I'm with him for 3 years now and its the best relationship I've had by miles, he's a great guy and I am truly in love with him.

    I don't know what happened or what I did but all of a sudden a week ago he started to keep less contact and he kept delaying plans to see me. He always makes time for our relationship even when he has a really busy he day he will come to see me as late as midnight.

    I asked him what's wrong and he said (on msn):

    "Nothing is wrong, if you had done something I would tell you I just want some space to be honest I've realised that I'm losing my individuality and haven't focused on me or my life lately. You're not the only thing in my life, stupidly I've lived my life as if you are but I think a relationship should be just a very small component of my life I have much more important priorities."

    I don't know whats changed but this felt like a slap in the face and I'm so hurt by this
    Now he doesn't call he only texts once a day a quick short one just to say he hopes I'm well and had a good day.

    How do I deal with this??? this has made me so ill I've lost my appetite so I'm not eating much it just feels like I'm losing the love of my life and he will end it soon

    I really need advice on how to cope, thats the only thing I can do just cope with it because I can't force him to want to be more involved in the relationship like it used to be.
    Ouch!

    I'm not surprised that you feel this was a slap in the face, I'm also a bit surprised that after 3 years he didn't have the manners to have this discussion with you in person. I know it sounds trite, but you need to talk to him about this - if for no other reason than he needs to know how hurt and upset you are by his sudden about face.

    I think you have grounds to be concerned to be honest - relegating you to being 'a very small component of his life' after so long together is pretty demeaning. I would be curious as to what these other 'much more important priorities' are as well. Maybe he's suddenly got scared, maybe it's something more sinister, but you both need to clear the air. Only when you know exactly where you stand can you start to find a way to cope, but remember that relationships are a two way street - if you're not happy with the answers you get, you may need to re-assess your own position.

    Good luck and I hope this turns out well.
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    (Original post by curl oasis)
    I'm with him for 3 years now and its the best relationship I've had by miles, he's a great guy and I am truly in love with him.

    I don't know what happened or what I did but all of a sudden a week ago he started to keep less contact and he kept delaying plans to see me. He always makes time for our relationship even when he has a really busy he day he will come to see me as late as midnight.

    I asked him what's wrong and he said (on msn):

    "Nothing is wrong, if you had done something I would tell you I just want some space to be honest I've realised that I'm losing my individuality and haven't focused on me or my life lately. You're not the only thing in my life, stupidly I've lived my life as if you are but I think a relationship should be just a very small component of my life I have much more important priorities."

    I don't know whats changed but this felt like a slap in the face and I'm so hurt by this
    Now he doesn't call he only texts once a day a quick short one just to say he hopes I'm well and had a good day.

    How do I deal with this??? this has made me so ill I've lost my appetite so I'm not eating much it just feels like I'm losing the love of my life and he will end it soon

    I really need advice on how to cope, thats the only thing I can do just cope with it because I can't force him to want to be more involved in the relationship like it used to be.
    I think he could be hurting inside as gay as that sounds (I really mean it seriously though - I think he has issues inside and something is wrong with him - which probably isn't related to you, though it might be.) If this isn't the case, then maybe you should worry that he just doesn't feel the same way about you any more for whatever reason... it could be another person, or just that he's lost interest. How old are you guys?

    I can imagine how you feel - i'm sorry it had to happen to you Honestly I'm really surprised that this has happened after 3 years, especially since you said he always made time for your relationship etc.

    I'm sure you have always given him the attention he needs, so he can't be angry or upset at you or anything?

    Maybe you should find some music you like and start taking up an interesting activity or hobby that you can use to fill up your spare time with. I would definitely recommend talking to him properly and really discussing the ins and outs of things. The main thing is to keep reminding him that he can be completely honest with you because you would rather know everything, the whole truth, even if there is/isn't something bad, than be left in the dark. And that you would appreciate it and be grateful.

    Good luck
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    (Original post by curl oasis)
    I'm with him for 3 years now and its the best relationship I've had by miles, he's a great guy and I am truly in love with him.

    I don't know what happened or what I did but all of a sudden a week ago he started to keep less contact and he kept delaying plans to see me. He always makes time for our relationship even when he has a really busy he day he will come to see me as late as midnight.

    I asked him what's wrong and he said (on msn):

    "Nothing is wrong, if you had done something I would tell you I just want some space to be honest I've realised that I'm losing my individuality and haven't focused on me or my life lately. You're not the only thing in my life, stupidly I've lived my life as if you are but I think a relationship should be just a very small component of my life I have much more important priorities."

    I don't know whats changed but this felt like a slap in the face and I'm so hurt by this
    Now he doesn't call he only texts once a day a quick short one just to say he hopes I'm well and had a good day.

    How do I deal with this??? this has made me so ill I've lost my appetite so I'm not eating much it just feels like I'm losing the love of my life and he will end it soon

    I really need advice on how to cope, thats the only thing I can do just cope with it because I can't force him to want to be more involved in the relationship like it used to be.
    give him space. reply to his texts like 1 hour later so that he knows that this relationship is only 'a small part component of your life' (that'll teach him)
    and last but not least: start getting ready for the end because it's coming.

    im sorry :hugs:
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    (Original post by curl oasis)
    I'm with him for 3 years now and its the best relationship I've had by miles, he's a great guy and I am truly in love with him.

    I don't know what happened or what I did but all of a sudden a week ago he started to keep less contact and he kept delaying plans to see me. He always makes time for our relationship even when he has a really busy he day he will come to see me as late as midnight.

    I asked him what's wrong and he said (on msn):

    "Nothing is wrong, if you had done something I would tell you I just want some space to be honest I've realised that I'm losing my individuality and haven't focused on me or my life lately. You're not the only thing in my life, stupidly I've lived my life as if you are but I think a relationship should be just a very small component of my life I have much more important priorities."

    I don't know whats changed but this felt like a slap in the face and I'm so hurt by this
    Now he doesn't call he only texts once a day a quick short one just to say he hopes I'm well and had a good day.

    How do I deal with this??? this has made me so ill I've lost my appetite so I'm not eating much it just feels like I'm losing the love of my life and he will end it soon

    I really need advice on how to cope, thats the only thing I can do just cope with it because I can't force him to want to be more involved in the relationship like it used to be.
    aaww... don't feel bad for him. he's a complete *******, not for asking you for space but for telling you that on msn:confused:
    my best advice is to talk to him in person, if he still tells you nothin is wrong, just wants some space blah blah, then ignore him. remember:
    "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was."
    if after the talking you really think he still loves you but he just wants some more space then try to understand him.
    but in either case, DON'T cling on him, it'll definitely make things worse.
    good luck!
 
 
 
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