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If asked, do you think you would do this for your friend? watch

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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    If you want to know more on the topic of why people grieve the way they do and the different perspectives, research grief in psychology and the psychology of death and generally how the mind works. Often the case is related to childhood experiences.

    Trying to help and actually helping are two different things. Just drop it and do whatever it is you're going to do yourself.

    Best wishes.
    Yeah, I know that. I'm not just dropping it, because a lot of people still want it to go ahead, and I'm not pushing anyone into anything.There's no real point in putting 'Best wishes' when you don't really mean it.
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    *Double Post*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I know that. I'm not just dropping it, because a lot of people still want it to go ahead, and I'm not pushing anyone into anything.There's no real point in putting 'Best wishes' when you don't really mean it.
    When I say drop it, I meant trying to help the friends who don't want to go public - leave it up to them. By all means go ahead yourself and have a great time.

    Best wishes. I only ever put this when I genuinely mean it, it isn't in all of my posts - whether or not you choose to believe that, I don't really care.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    When I say drop it, I meant trying to help the friends who don't want to go public - leave it up to them. By all means go ahead yourself and have a great time.

    Best wishes. I only ever put this when I genuinely mean it, it isn't in all of my posts - whether or not you choose to believe that, I don't really care.
    Ah right, fair enough, thanks.
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    That's a really nice idea, I'd definitely do it. I'm not at all confident in front of lots of people, but of course I would do it for a friend.
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    I wouldn't do it, even if it was for my family. I don't need to say how I feel or what I thought of them.. I know it and they knew it so why does it need to be shared?

    You can't expect people to have the same view as you on this, it's very personal. They're not bad people for not wanting to take part.
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    I would, but only if I felt that it was appropriate for me to be doing so. If I felt I'd only been asked because nobody closer to them wanted to or could then I wouldn't.
    I think I would have to feel like the one I was remembering would have wanted me to be doing it.
    Very sorry for your loss.
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    (Original post by SatanIsAwesome)
    What exactly is your point?
    That you're an arse.
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    sounds lovely
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    (Original post by jismith1989)
    That you're an arse.
    How am I an arse?
    You must be a really insecure 12 year old in real life if you go around calling people an "arse" for no reason, over the internet.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, I take that on board.

    Oh and also, noticed you're saying it's hard to organise it yourself when people are saying 'I'll do something, let me know when it's organised'. In that situation, I'd pick a random piece/pieces from the selection you have (or one which fits them if you feel there is that) then assign them that to read. I'm sure most of them will be happy to read any of his work.
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    (Original post by emma.191)
    I wouldn't do it, even if it was for my family. I don't need to say how I feel or what I thought of them.. I know it and they knew it so why does it need to be shared?

    You can't expect people to have the same view as you on this, it's very personal. They're not bad people for not wanting to take part.

    I agree with this......

    We think so alike


    Pleeeeeeeeeease.............:o:
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    (Original post by rj1990)
    I agree with this......

    We think so alike


    Pleeeeeeeeeease.............:o:
    Woah, got a lurch in my stomach there! Your username is the same as my friend's was, except his was an email address.

    ...and I get the feeling the 'Pleeeeease'(well, wasn't typing out all the 'e's) is related to another conversation!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Woah, got a lurch in my stomach there! Your username is the same as my friend's was, except his was an email address.

    ...and I get the feeling the 'Pleeeeease'(well, wasn't typing out all the 'e's) is related to another conversation!
    lol, I've never had an email address with this username, so it wasn't me

    And yes....it is...:o:
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    (Original post by rj1990)
    lol, I've never had an email address with this username, so it wasn't me

    And yes....it is...:o:
    Actually, I'm sure I've seen you around before and thought it was my friend on the forum...man, that wasn't long ago at all

    Ok, the ':o:' says that's as much as I need to know/will know!
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    Personally, if it was me, and I was close to the person, I would be there, but I would feel very uncomfortable speaking. I find grief very very personal, and I am the type of person that puts on a brave face when anything like this happens. My nan died a few months ago, and my Dad is the same as me. I put on a brave face for him, and then when I saw him break down, I did too. I was grieving, but I didn't want to share my grief with other people.

    I would be willing to "help out" however, but I don't think people should be expected to speak, or do a reading for him. I would feel uncomfortable in that situation.
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    In answer to your question, it depends on how well i knew the person. I'd feel so guilty if i was a good friend of theirs and didn't say something, but i'd probably be too upset to stand up and share good memories with others too.

    I don't know if anyone has already said this, so apologies, but I'd suggest leaving a book out for people to write their memories in. You could give it to their family to show how you were honoured to be their friend. I'm sure they'd love it.
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    (Original post by Beautifique.)
    In answer to your question, it depends on how well i knew the person. I'd feel so guilty if i was a good friend of theirs and didn't say something, but i'd probably be too upset to stand up and share good memories with others too.

    I don't know if anyone has already said this, so apologies, but I'd suggest leaving a book out for people to write their memories in. You could give it to their family to show how you were honoured to be their friend. I'm sure they'd love it.
    Yeah, this is one of the things I was going to do. But it was really just an extra. You see, once all his friends decided it would be a great idea, I had to get permission from his parents first. At which point, they said they'd be honoured, and would love to come. I'd hate to tell them it was off(and would hate for it to be off, especially because I know people are keen to do something.

    I feel quite demoralised now, ah
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    I'm not one for public speaking but if it was one of my close mates I would put all that a side to say a few words
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    Yes, I would do this for a friend. I've been to such events for friends' friends even. Don't think its weird to do so, get out and do it!
 
 
 
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