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Should I just give up now? watch

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    There is this one guy who I have liked for a few months now, even before I got to know him I found him attractive, and afterwards I liked him a lot more. Sometimes there were hints and signs that he may have liked me back but I don't really pay attention to them because I usually assume that guys are not interested in me that way. In fact, it is unlikely that I will approach a guy who I am really attracted, this is due to me feeling like I am not good enough.

    Anyway, I started my second year of uni recently and have seen this guy a few times there. I find it really difficult to go up and talk to him despite knowing him on a aquaintance/friends basis. If we do talk, it is usually him who initiates the conversation. Today, I sensed that he wanted to talk because he was looking my way and kind of stopped in front of me but I didn't say a word and only made a half smile...

    I am so useless at it all and I am starting to think that I won't ever get into a relationship at this rate (unless I go out with one the guys who have asked me out in the last year). Also, it now looks like this other girl likes him now and maybe the feeling is mutual so maybe I should give up now. How do I change? Are any of the other TSRians like this or am I the only one?
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    You need to sort out why you "don't feel good enough" perhaps by feeling better about yourself you will have the confidence to show him you are interested.

    See if your uni counselling service offer any guidance or courses even related to self-esteem.
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    Thanks for the advice but I would rather not because I know what counsellors would say and it won't help.
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    Maybe you ought to make your feelings more clear to him by making your hints stronger.
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    (Original post by Hey TSR)
    Maybe you ought to make your feelings more clear to him by making your hints stronger.
    I want to but think I might repulse him especially if he doesn't like me......

    Out of curiousity, what kind of hints would make you think that someone likes you?
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    Oh and no, don't give up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to but think I might repulse him especially if he doesn't like me......

    Out of curiousity, what kind of hints would make you think that someone likes you?
    Firstly, you'd never be sure whether he likes you or not, unless you ask, or he asks you. So either way, you'll always be speculating within yourself.

    As most will say, the usual does the trick. Smile a lot, show that you want to talk to him and, if you're doing the same course, ask for help/work together.

    I'm in the same boat as you, but obviously a guy.
    • #2
    #2

    I don't know though, maybe I should give up if he likes this other girl because there is nothing I can do to change that really and if he doesn't like me then I can't make him feel anything towards me. I know that it is normal for guys to be interested in more than one girl at once, it is just that I don't know if I can compete and think it would be better to resign to the fact that no guy I like will ever like me back...it is always the ones who I am not compatible with who ask me out.

    (Original post by Hey TSR)
    Firstly, you'd never be sure whether he likes you or not, unless you ask, or je asks you. So either way, you'll always be speculating within yourself.

    As most will say, the usual does the trick. Smile a lot, show that you want to talk to him and, if you're doing the same course, ask for help/work together.
    That is true...and I will never ask him if he does. I do smile and laugh a lot when he talks to me so it is not like I have been stand offish at all. It is hard to understand because I find that he is more likely to talk to me when there aren't many people around, and in a public setting it is like I don't exist.

    I would ask to work on an assignment together but he would wonder why I was asking him instead of my proper friends.
    • #3
    #3

    WOW I went through the EXACT SAME thing earlier about a year and a half ago. He was good looking, seemed interested, always looked my way when he wanted to talk and I just really liked him.

    But me with my big ego pretended like I wasn't interested, mostly because I got so nervous around him! Eventually he moved on, and he's been with his gf for a year and a half now.

    I wish I had taken the chance. My advice, flirting is not the way to go. Just try to get into a good conversation with him, which I know is easier said than done, but really try Please so or you will regret it like I do now.
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    Good luck with your situation...hope you make your feelings clear unlike me so that you don't lose her to someone else.
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    #2

    That last post was to Hey_TSR btw
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    WOW I went through the EXACT SAME thing earlier about a year and a half ago. He was good looking, seemed interested, always looked my way when he wanted to talk and I just really liked him.

    But me with my big ego pretended like I wasn't interested, mostly because I got so nervous around him! Eventually he moved on, and he's been with his gf for a year and a half now.

    I wish I had taken the chance. My advice, flirting is not the way to go. Just try to get into a good conversation with him, which I know is easier said than done, but really try Please so or you will regret it like I do now.
    I have gotten into good conversations with him, infact we were in the same group and got to know each other better...maybe he just doesn't like me. I dislike not knowing and not being able to interpret body language. Sorry that happened to you btw.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My advice, flirting is not the way to go. Just try to get into a good conversation with him, which I know is easier said than done, but really try Please so or you will regret it like I do now.
    I think this is really good advice. Maybe you need to grow your confidence by gaining him as a friend, first? Try your hardest to put aside the fact that you like him and are nervous around him (a lot easier said than done, I know - but you can do it!). Then, once you're more comfortable in his company, it should seem a lot easier to know how and or if to make the next move.

    Best of Luck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know though, maybe I should give up if he likes this other girl because there is nothing I can do to change that really and if he doesn't like me then I can't make him feel anything towards me. I know that it is normal for guys to be interested in more than one girl at once, it is just that I don't know if I can compete and think it would be better to resign to the fact that no guy I like will ever like me back...it is always the ones who I am not compatible with who ask me out.


    That is true...and I will never ask him if he does. I do smile and laugh a lot when he talks to me so it is not like I have been stand offish at all. It is hard to understand because I find that he is more likely to talk to me when there aren't many people around, and in a public setting it is like I don't exist.

    I would ask to work on an assignment together but he would wonder why I was asking him instead of my proper friends.
    I don't get it; surely you want him to think 'why is she asking me?'. It'll raise that question in his mind. That's a very strong hint and I advise you to go ahead with it. It'll allow you to spend time with him where it's just the two of you.
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    #2

    Hey_TSR, I don't think I want him to know untill I am sure whether he likes me. Yeah, I don't get it either lol. Anyway, I assume that if he liked me enough he would make more of an effort, and it looks like things are progressing with this other girl, so who am I to interfere.
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    #2

    Hey_TSR, I don't think I want him to know untill I am sure whether he likes me. Yeah, I don't get it either lol. Anyway, I assume that if he liked me enough he would make more of an effort, and it looks like things are progressing with this other girl, so who am I to interfere.
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    No idea why that happened!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey_TSR, I don't think I want him to know untill I am sure whether he likes me. Yeah, I don't get it either lol. Anyway, I assume that if he liked me enough he would make more of an effort, and it looks like things are progressing with this other girl, so who am I to interfere.
    I like that girl from uni ALOT but she probably thinks Im not making much of an effort. It's not that, but rather Im just too shy and dont know whether she feels the same way. This could be the case with the guy you like.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Hey TSR)
    I like that girl from uni ALOT but she probably thinks Im not making much of an effort. It's not that, but rather Im just too shy and dont know whether she feels the same way. This could be the case with the guy you like.
    You have a point there.

    Maybe it is you! :p:

    So what is your plan of action?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You have a point there.

    Maybe it is you! :p:

    So what is your plan of action?
    Lol, I highly doubt it, cos I don't like any other girl.

    Im just gonna go with the flow and see what happens. I talk to her quite a bit more than I did last year, so thats a good start. However, as I said earier, Im too shy and I always have a feeling that she doesn't like it when I text or chat to her, hence I don't really ask to do anything together.
 
 
 
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